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PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Crotch Grabber (ranked 15 p4p, 14 weight class) and Roar Horse (ranked 2 p4p, 1 weight class). Grabber's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Side to Side. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

207 cm
32 - 6 - 0
206 cm
29 - 8 - 0
Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible
Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank


Altitude Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 32 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Crotch Grabber!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 29 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Roar Horse!
The judges for this bout are Steven Brown, Sam Margolis and James Ackerman.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Horse moves forwards but Grabber connects with a nice, crisp jab.
It looks like Roar Horse has been cut.
Horse throws a lazy right hand but Grabber sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Grabber throws a big shot that misses.
Horse lands with a good body shot.
Grabber tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Horse was well out of range. Poor timing from Grabber.
Horse tries to move into range but Grabber moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Grabber has been working on his boxing with his coaches at Save America! TRUMP 2020! in the buildup to the fight.
Grabber misses with a hook
and Horse counters with a nice body kick.
Horse moves out of range of the body kick.
Grabber throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Horse throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Grabber rushes in with a sloppy looking punch

and Horse holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
Grabber tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
A nice right hand lands inside from Grabber.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.

Grabber has managed to pull guard. Let's see whether he can work an aggressive guard. It will also be interesting to see what tactics Horse uses from the top position.

Horse stands and steps away. Grabber gets to his feet too and we're back to the striking game.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Grabber fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Horse on the side of the head.
Grabber looks to score with a jab to the body but Horse is just out of range.
Grabber throws an overhand right that lands on Horse's shoulder, as Horse tries to avoid the shot.
A little jabbing left from Horse on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
A looping hook to the body misses from Grabber. Horse does a little dance to reset his feet.
Grabber misses with a looping left.
Horse throws a lazy body kick
and Grabber counters with a nice uppercut.
Horse takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Horse moves away from the strike by Grabber.

Horse moves into range and clinches up with Grabber.
Horse lands with a short head shot on the inside.

Grabber successfully pulls guard.

Horse decides to stand up and beckons his opponent to follow.
Grabber misses with a body punch

and Horse holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Grabber.
A short right from Horse.
Grabber lands a hook to the side of the head.
A nice left hand lands by Grabber.
Grabber lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Grabber prevents a body shot from Horse.
Horse lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Grabber backwards.
Horse misses with some punches.
Horse tries a body shot but Grabber blocks it.
Grabber misses with a shot to the kidneys.

Grabber jumps guard and drags Horse to the mat. He's obviously going to be looking for submissions off his back.

Grabber is working for submissions here. He's thrown up his legs looking for a triangle but Horse frees his head nicely. Oh but Grabber has switched to an armbar! Horse is tapping furiously! Lovely submission there!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:50 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle Armbar). Crotch Grabber!
Crotch Grabber is the new super heavyweight champion!
After the big win, Crotch Grabber made sure to do all the important stuff like thanking his sponsors PWNAGE and telling the interviewer how much he loves him.
G S C G energy
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