PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Douche Canoe (ranked 541 p4p, 1080 weight class) and Vlad Darko (ranked 11 p4p, 20 weight class). Darko has chosen Ominous Drumming as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. Vlad Darko has the eye of the tiger tonight.

Canoe
vs
Darko

197 cm
35
215
20 - 17 - 2

178 cm
33
184
17 - 11 - 2

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Altitude Clothing
MKFC

Conviction
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 20 - 17 - 2, fighting out of Las Vegas, Douche Canoe!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 11 - 2, fighting out of London, Vlad Darko!
The judges for this bout are Mauricio Rocha, Felipe Paraventi and Emerson Jorge.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A low kick from Darko is predictable there
and Canoe counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Nice cross by Darko.

It looks like Douche Canoe has been cut.
A jab from Canoe does it's job there.
Canoe throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Darko swats away the attempt to clinch by Canoe.
Darko scores with a leg kick.
Canoe checks a low kick from Darko.
Darko uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Canoe.
Canoe throws a leg kick
and Darko counters with a lovely straight right hand!
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Canoe throws a hook but Darko blocks it.
Canoe staying out of range there.
An attempted straight right counter from Canoe misses the target.
Canoe throws out a loose jab but Darko uses good head movement to avoid it.
Canoe looks to land a right hand but Darko moved out of range.
Darko scores with a leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Darko finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Canoe throws a sloppy body shot
and Darko counters with a low kick, right behind Canoe 's knee.
Canoe fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Darko manages to avoid it.
Canoe blocks a leg kick.
Canoe waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Darko.
Darko misses with a body shot.
Canoe scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Some bone on bone action there as Darko checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Darko uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Canoe.
Canoe misses with an uppercut.
Canoe tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Darko is able to avoid easily.
Darko misses with a wild body shot.
Darko throws a hook but Canoe avoids it easily.
Canoe tries to close the distance and clinch but Darko swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Darko swings and misses with a hook to the body.
A looping hook to the body misses from Canoe. Darko does a little dance to reset his feet.
Darko only half commits to the counter leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canoe misses with a leg kick.
Darko walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Darko pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Canoe back to the cage. Darko follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Canoe throws a lazy uppercut
and Darko counters with a nice body shot.
Darko dips to his left and cracks Canoe with an uppercut!
Canoe throws a looping overhand right but Darko ducks down to avoid it.
Darko misses with a body shot.
A looping hook to the body misses from Darko. Canoe does a little dance to reset his feet.
Darko staying out of range there.
Darko ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Darko looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Darko with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Darko scores with a body shot.
Canoe takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Darko wants to slow Canoe down by chopping away at his legs.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Canoe getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Canoe uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Darko.
A chopping leg kick lands by Canoe.
Canoe throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
A nice side step and Darko releases a counter shot to the body, but it doesn't find it's home.
Canoe loads up on a big right hand but Darko slips the punch.
Darko swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Canoe misses with a hook.
Canoe works Darko's body with a nice hook.
Darko scores with a jab to the head.
Darko thows a left - swing and a miss!
Douche Canoe seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Darko lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Canoe finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Canoe swings for the body but Darko moves out of range.
A slapping leg kick lands for Darko.
Canoe throws a poor cross that misses
and Darko counters with a lovely straight right hand!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Darko ducks under a wild hook from Canoe.
Darko gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Canoe.
Canoe displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Darko throws out the jab.
Canoe bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Darko missing with a left hand there. Canoe was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
A nice leg kick lands there from Canoe.
Canoe takes a swing at Darko's ribcage but misses.
Nice cross by Canoe.
Canoe throws a leg kick
and Darko counters with a slapping leg kick.
A solid leg kick lands there for Darko.
Darko on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Canoe. Canoe obviously looking to wear him down.
Darko looks to score with a jab to the body but Canoe is just out of range.
A shot to the body from Canoe misses
and Darko counters with a thumping low kick.
Canoe throws a body shot but no joy.
Canoe throws a looping overhand right but Darko ducks down to avoid it.
It seemed like Darko was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Vlad Darko dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Douche Canoe's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Canoe closes the distance looking to clinch
and Darko counters with a leg kick.
Darko needs to keep his hands up - Canoe had a free shot at his head there.
Darko misses the shot to the body.
Canoe scores with a hook.
Darko circles away from the clinch attempt
letting Darko counter with a right hand.
Canoe thumps Darko with a low kick.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Canoe throws a body punch but Darko moves out of range.
Darko throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Canoe was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Darko fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Canoe has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Darko fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Canoe swings and misses with a hook to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Canoe lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
This entire fight has taken place on the feet so far and you wonder whether Canoe might be better served trying to take this one to the ground because he's losing the standup battle so far.
Canoe throws a body punch but Darko moves out of range.
Canoe throws a leg kick that is checked
enabling Darko to counter with a crisp jab.
Canoe missing with a left hand there. Darko was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
It seemed like Darko was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Canoe is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Canoe misses with a looping left.
Canoe misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Darko.
Canoe backing away here, and Darko unleashes a leg kick that just misses.
Canoe lands a really nice looking cross but Darko seems unphased.
Darko takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Darko thows a left - swing and a miss!
Darko keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Darko looks to score with a jab to the body but Canoe is just out of range.
Darko uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Canoe.
Canoe is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Darko throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Darko takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Darko keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canoe has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Darko.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Canoe doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Vlad Darko seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Good standup being displayed there by Darko as he connects with a hook.
Darko keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Darko slips under a jab from Canoe.
Darko now looks to counter with a shot at the body.
Darko on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Darko thuds his right hand into Canoe's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Canoe throws a series of punches but Darko avoids them all with ease.
Canoe misses with a lunging right hand
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Canoe looks to land a right hand but Darko moved out of range.

Canoe instigates a clinch.
Canoe blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Canoe tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Canoe misses with a short punch on the inside.

Darko escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Canoe dips to his left and cracks Darko with an uppercut!
Canoe misses with an uppercut. Darko saw that one coming.
Canoe motions for Darko to come forward. Canoe throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
A combination from Canoe does no damage.
Good leg kick by Canoe.
Darko misses with a wild body shot.
Canoe misses the jab.
Canoe connects with a single shot there.
Canoe fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Canoe swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
A chopping leg kick lands by Darko.
Canoe misses with a left hand
and Darko counters with a good, hard body kick but Canoe shrugs it off.
Canoe ducks under a wild hook from Darko.
Canoe throws a right and a left that both miss.
Darko throws a head kick but Canoe moves out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Darko uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Canoe.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Canoe misses with a lunging right hand
and Darko connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Canoe thows a left - swing and a miss!
A big right from Canoe misses.
Canoe throws a hook but Darko blocks it.
Canoe backing away here, and Darko unleashes a leg kick that just misses.
Good work by Canoe as he checks the leg kick.
The fighters circling - Canoe throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Canoe throws a body shot but no joy.
A swing and a miss from Canoe.
Darko looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Canoe ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Darko moves away.
Darko's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Canoe connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Darko scrambles back to his feet.
Darko misses with an uppercut
and Canoe counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Darko cracks Canoe with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.

Douche Canoe's cut is getting worse.
Darko with the inside leg kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Douche Canoe will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Douche Canoe's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Canoe slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Darko looks to score with a jab to the body but Canoe is just out of range.
Canoe swings widly with a right hand
and Darko counters with a body kick.
Canoe throws a looping overhand right but Darko ducks down to avoid it.
Darko lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Canoe throws a hook but Darko avoids it easily.
A cross from Canoe lands.
Canoe tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Darko takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
A left lands for Canoe.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Canoe tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Darko manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Canoe avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
An attempted straight right counter from Canoe misses the target.
Canoe throws a poor cross that misses
and Darko counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Canoe scores with a decent looking hook.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Darko steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Canoe.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Darko with a nice calf kick.
Darko with a hook.
Canoe throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Darko throws a jab when Canoe was well out of range.
Canoe fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Darko.
Darko ducks under a wild hook from Canoe.
Canoe with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Canoe missing with a left hand there. Darko was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Canoe uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Darko.
Darko misses with a body shot.
Canoe shuffles to his left behind two crisp jabs. Darko eats them both and turns towards Canoe to reposition himself and eats a stinging right hand-left hook combo.
Darko ducks under a wild hook from Canoe.
Darko appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Darko misses with a leg kick.
Canoe misses with a hook.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Darko lands a leg kick that knocks Canoe off balance momentarily.
Darko connects with a solid leg kick.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Canoe scores with a nice head shot.
Canoe ducks under a wild hook from Darko.
Canoe throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Darko counters with a slapping leg kick.
Canoe with a nice calf kick.
Canoe fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Darko is out of range.
Darko uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Canoe.
Canoe moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Canoe misses with a shot to the body
and Darko counters with a thumping low kick.
Darko scores with a nice head shot.
A swing and a miss from Darko.
Canoe takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Darko bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Canoe backing away here, and Darko unleashes a leg kick that just misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Darko staying out of range there.
Darko flicks out a counter leg kick but Canoe steps away.
Darko avoids the body shot from Canoe.
Darko tries a quick counter leg kick but Canoe is wise to it.
Darko throws a shot from downtown. Canoe moves away and avoids it.
Canoe misses with a hook
and Darko makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Darko is looking to slow Canoe down with leg kicks.
A cross from Darko lands.
Canoe on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Darko. Darko obviously looking to wear him down.
Darko moves away from the strike by Canoe.
A good leg kick by Darko.
Darko scores with a nice strike.
A slow jab from Canoe misses its intended target.
Canoe's legs have taken a beating and he's really slowing down as a result.
Canoe throws out a loose jab but Darko uses good head movement to avoid it.
Canoe throws a hook but Darko avoids it easily.
Darko with a body punch. A glancing blow.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Darko doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Canoe avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Canoe looks to land a left hand but Darko moved out of range nicely.
Canoe throws a leg kick that is checked
and Darko counters with a left to the body.
Darko moves out of range of the strikes.
Canoe throws a lazy right hand but Darko sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Darko lands a nice leg kick that just misses Canoe's sensitive parts.
Darko misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Canoe.
Canoe connects with a solid leg kick.
Darko scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Canoe throws a jab when Darko was well out of range.
Darko keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Canoe.
Darko fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Canoe manages to avoid it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close third round but Vlad Darko just about did enough to take it.
The cut man is working on Douche Canoe's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Canoe misses with an uppercut
letting Darko counter with a right hand.
Canoe bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
A big left from Canoe misses.
Darko moves out of range of the leg kick from Canoe.
Darko throws a nice inside leg kick.
Canoe takes a swing at Darko's ribcage but misses.
Darko loads up on a big right hand but Canoe slips the punch.
Canoe fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Darko manages to avoid it.
Darko let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
Canoe checks a leg kick.
Canoe looks to throw the jab but Darko is out of range.
Darko doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Canoe throws a predictable looking body shot
and Darko counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Canoe misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Darko.
Canoe fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Darko manages to avoid it.
Darko scores with a jab. Canoe acknowledges it with a nod of the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A combination from Canoe does no damage.
Darko scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
That kick from Darko tenderised Canoe's leg. Canoe is trying to keep his angry face on.
Darko wants to land a leg kick but Canoe is out of range.
Darko checks a leg kick.
Darko appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Canoe lands with an overhand left.
Darko uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Canoe.
Some bone on bone action there as Darko checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Darko slips under a jab.
Darko lands a lovely overhand right.
Darko checks a leg kick.
Canoe throws a hook but Darko avoids it easily.
Canoe swings for the body but Darko moves out of range.
Nice straight punches there by Darko. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Darko.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canoe feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Darkos jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Canoe is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Darko.
Canoe misses with a wild body shot.
Darko will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Canoe misses with an uppercut. Darko saw that one coming.
Darko displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Canoe throws out the jab.
Darko paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
You can follow us on Twitter at...Ooooooh Canoe got wobbled bad by a big combination! Darko presses forward with punches and knees until Canoe stumbles to the ground! The ref watches Canoe closely before deciding to step in and end the fight!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:38 of round 4, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Vlad Darko!
Vlad Darko is the new super heavyweight champion!
Vlad Darko made sure to mention his sponsor, Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing in his post fight interview.