PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Howard Stern (ranked 2267 p4p, 2059 weight class) and Jihadi John (ranked 247 p4p, 229 weight class). Stern comes to the ring accompanied by The Great American Nightmare. John has chosen Ali-A as his entrance music. Howard Stern has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Stern
vs
John

184 cm
46
220
42 - 36 - 1

195 cm
29
276
7 - 3 - 0

Decent elbows
Granite chin

Dangerous knees
Knockout power

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 42 - 36 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Howard Stern!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 3 - 0, fighting out of London, Jihadi John !
The judges for this bout are Hirohito Nitta, Shigeki Sano and Yasuomi Hirokawa.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Stern rushes John and pushes him back against the ropes in a clinch.
Stern is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the ropes.

Stern breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Stern scores with a hook.
John tries to close the distance and clinch but Stern swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
A solid body kick from John .
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
John lands a jab.
John throws the left hand but Stern avoids the punch easily.
A looping hook to the body misses from John . Stern does a little dance to reset his feet.
John tests Stern's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Stern gets off balance looking for a body kick
and John counters with a nice uppercut.
Stern looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Stern dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
John tries to land a front kick but Stern steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
John keeps the fight on the outside.
Stern tried to score with a low kick but John checks it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Stern misses with a looping left.
Stern slips under a jab.
John gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Stern lands a nice shot that snaps John 's head back.
John walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Stern fails in his attempt to clinch.
Stern takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
A big right from John misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Stern throws a lazy right hand but John sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Stern throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Stern lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Stern misses with a right hand
and John counters with a nice uppercut.
John shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Stern scores with a nice strike.
Stern moves out of range as John strikes.
Stern tries to clinch up but John circles away and keeps his distance.
John throws a body shot but no joy.
Stern blocks a jab.
Stern dips to his left and cracks John with an uppercut!
John lands a nice looking kick to the body. Stern takes a step back to recover.
Stern tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but John was well out of range. Poor timing from Stern.
Stern jabs John to the body, keeping him at a distance.
John tries to clinch up against the ropes, rushing in to close the distance. Stern manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Stern connects with a crisp jab.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
John uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Stern.
Stern throws a front kick aimed at John 's knee but John avoids it well.
Stern looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Stern works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Nice defenses there by Stern.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Stern with a jab.
John misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A counter left hand to the body from Stern misses its target.
John lands with a shot to the body.
Stern missing with a left hand there. John was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Stern is looking to clinch but John is avoiding it.

Stern gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Stern is looking to break free of the clinch but John has double underhooks.
John has Stern pressed against the ropes, preventing Stern from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
John has Stern pressed against the ropes, preventing Stern from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Stern lands a left hand that snaps the head of John backwards.
Stern managing to block the knees to the body from John .
Stern wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
John prevents Stern from breaking the clinch.
John crunches a lovely knee into Stern's ribcage.
Stern is breathing heavily.
Stern on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
John with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Stern working aggressively here.
John lands a hook that snaps the head of Stern backwards.
John stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Howard Stern will probably get the nod.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

John lands with a nice body punch.
Stern misses with a body shot.
Stern walks into a jab.
Stern rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and John counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Stern misses with a hook.
John throws out a counter right but Stern avoids it with no problem.
Howard Stern is winning the standup battle so far.
Stern ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from John . Stern shrugs it off though.
John tries to clinch but Stern is having none of it.
Stern tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from John ! But no joy.
John is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Stern.
A head kick from John lands but Stern takes it in his stride.
Stern tries to close the distance and clinch up against the ropes but John paws at him with a jab and circles away.
The fighters circling - John throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
John keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Stern.
John lands a nice looking body shot.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Stern throws a looping overhand right but John ducks down to avoid it.
Stern staying out of range there.
Stern wants to clinch.
Stern misses with a wild body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.

John clinches up against the ropes.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
John tries to stall but Stern uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Stern is trying to break free.
Stern is trying to force a seperation but John has the dominant position.
A short uppercut from Stern.

Stern breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
John moves out of range of the strikes.
A solid leg kick lands there for Stern.
Stern throws the left hand but John avoids the punch easily.
Stern swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
A telegraphed right hand from John misses the target.
Stern connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Stern throws a looping overhand right but John ducks down to avoid it.
Stern is looking to score with low kicks.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from John .
Stern takes one on the chin but seems OK.
John jabbing away but nothing is landing.
John looks to land a body kick but Stern moved away.
Stern misses with an uppercut. John saw that one coming.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Stern throws a right and a left that both miss.
Stern throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
John avoids a punch combination nicely.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
John doesn't manage to clinch there - Stern circles away.
John has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Stern finds it's way round the side to connect with John 's head.
Stern takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
John uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Stern.
John delivers a nice body kick.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Stern on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
John pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Stern uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by John .
Stern tries to clinch up.
John thows a left - swing and a miss!
Stern throws a head kick that misses.
John blocks a leg kick.
Stern moves out of range as John strikes.
John misses with a hook. Stern ducked under it nicely.
John getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
John swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jihadi John showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Stern is looking to clinch but John is avoiding it.
John jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Stern throwing a counter right hand but John manages to avoid it.
John takes a swing at Stern's ribcage but misses.
John delivers a nice body kick.
Stern tries to close the distance and clinch up but John swats him away and circles back towards the center.
John misses with a hook. Stern ducked under it nicely.
Stern is looking to clinch.
John misses with a body shot.
John lands with an uppercut that bounces Stern off the ropes and back into range.
Stern scores with a jab.
Stern misses with an uppercut.
Stern ducks down and throws a hook to the body but John moves away.
Stern throws an overhand right that lands on John 's shoulder, as John tries to avoid the shot.
John scores with a nice right hand.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
John moves forwards but Stern connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Decent striking displayed by Stern there.
Stern throws a jab when John was well out of range.
Stern takes a jab right on the kisser.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Stern scores with a body shot.
John misses with a straight right.

That's one minute gone in the round.
John misses with a body kick.
Stern tries to close the distance and clinch up but John swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from John .
Stern looks to land a right hand but John moved out of range.
John wants to counter with a clinch but Stern pushes him away.
Stern throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Stern scores with a jab to the body.
John ducks under a wild hook from Stern.
John lands a nice looking body kick.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Stern scores with a punch to the head.
Stern moves out of range of the body kick.
John doesn't manage to clinch there - Stern circles away.
John needs to keep his hands up - Stern had a free shot at his head there.
John tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Stern was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Stern connects with a looping right hand.
John throws a body kick that misses.
Stern misses the shot to the body.
Stern swings widly with a right hand
and John counters with a nice body kick.
John bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
John throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Stern throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
John jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Stern steps to the side to avoid the strikes from John .
John lets loose with a powerful body kick. Stern will feel that in the morning.
John is looking to land body kicks.
A jab lands there for John .
John looks to land a right hand but Stern moved out of range.

John moves into the clinch successfully.
Stern swings wildly with an uppercut but John uses good head movement to avoid it.
Stern wants to break free but John has control.
John lands a nice knee to the body.
John connects with a knee to the head.

It looks like Howard Stern has been cut.
Stern avoids a wild elbow strike from John .
John lands a knee to the head.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Stern takes a knee to the side of the body.
A quick uppercut on the inside from John .
Stern on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
John with an attempt at a knee that misses.

And that's the end of the fight!
Jihadi John comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well John has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Hirohito Nitta scores the fight 28:29
Judge Shigeki Sano scores the fight 28:29
Judge Yasuomi Hirokawa scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Jihadi John !
Jihadi John was full of energy after the big win and talked about how he thinks he can do big things in this sport. The crowd were appreciative of his determination to succeed.
Howard Stern was interviewed post fight and said 'I blame Robin and those big G's.'.