PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Adam Carolla (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kraven Meatballs (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Carolla kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Gotta Get It On from Taboo 2. Kraven Meatballs is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Carolla
vs
Meatballs

198 cm
26
211 lbs
15 - 5 - 0

189 cm
24
209 lbs
7 - 3 - 0

Dangerous GnP
World class boxer
Very quick

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Adam Carolla!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Kraven Meatballs!
The judges for this bout are Felipe Paraventi, Mauricio Rocha and Edson Gomes.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Meatballs displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Carolla throws out the jab.
Meatballs blocks a jab.
Carolla displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Meatballs.
Meatballs shoots for a takedown but Carolla saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Carolla smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Carolla looks to land a right hand but Meatballs moved out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Carolla lands a nice looking body shot.
Meatballs moves out of range of the strikes.
Carolla misses with a wild combination.
Carolla connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Carolla stuffs the takedown.
Adam Carolla has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Kraven Meatballs.
Carolla fails to land with a series of punches.
Adam Carolla seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Meatballs closes the distance and clinches up with Carolla, looking for a takedown. Meatballs pushes Carolla against the cage but Carolla circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Meatballs shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Carolla but Carolla pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Carolla bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Meatballs's head backwards.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Meatballs defending well as Carolla loads up on a big left hand.
Carolla throws a shot to the body.
Carolla thuds a left hand into Meatballs's body.
Carolla displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Meatballs.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Meatballs shoots in looking for a takedown. Carolla tries to sprawl out of it but Meatballs keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Carolla manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Carolla jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Adam Carolla dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

A big right from Carolla misses.
Carolla misses with the combination.
Carolla misses with a series of wild punches.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Carolla throws out a loose jab but Meatballs uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Meatballs takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Meatballs shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Carolla as he jumps to the side.
Nice takedown defense from Carolla. No joy for Meatballs on that attempt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Carolla connects with a looping right hand.
Carolla lands with a shot to the body.
Carolla swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Meatballs shoots in looking for a takedown. Carolla tries to sprawl out of it but Meatballs keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Carolla manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Adam Carolla has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Kraven Meatballs.
Carolla throws a looping overhand right but Meatballs ducks down to avoid it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The fighters circling - Meatballs throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Meatballs shoots in and drives through. Carolla sprawls well.
Carolla with a nice cross.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Carolla misses with an uppercut.
Carolla lands a nice shot to the body.
Meatballs on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Meatballs misses with an uppercut.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Meatballs displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Carolla throws out the jab.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Adam Carolla dominated that second round.
That's time! Carolla's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Carolla throws a big shot that misses.
Meatballs misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Carolla throws a big shot that misses.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Carolla scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Carolla keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
No joy there for Carolla, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Carolla stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and Carolla wants it to stay on the feet.
Carolla goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Carolla swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Carolla lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Meatballs at a distance.
Meatballs is trying desperately to land a takedown but Carolla is having absolutely none of it. This is turning into a bit of a nightmare for Meatballs.
Carolla darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
A jab from Carolla finds it's way through Meatballs's defenses.
Meatballs defending well as Carolla loads up on a big left hand.
Carolla lands a jab to Meatballs's midsection.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Meatballs uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Carolla.
Meatballs tries for a takedown but Carolla sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Adam Carolla has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Kraven Meatballs.
Carolla thows a body shot but no joy.
The fighters circling - Meatballs throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Carolla is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Meatballs closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Kraven Meatballs has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
No joy there for Carolla, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Adam Carolla is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Carolla works Meatballs's body with a nice hook.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Carolla listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.

And that's the end of the fight!
Adam Carolla showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Carolla has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Felipe Paraventi scores the fight 30:27
Judge Mauricio Rocha scores the fight 30:27
Judge Edson Gomes scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Adam Carolla!