PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Soloman van der Vaart (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). van der Vaart has chosen Nah Mean as his entrance music. Soloman van der Vaart has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Fatherfockerusus
vs
van der Vaart

186 cm
24
180 lbs
8 - 1 - 0

183 cm
24
178 lbs
15 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Decent wrestler
Excellent boxer
Heavy handed

☺Narco ۩ Nutrotics☻™

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the welterweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 1 - 0, fighting out of London, Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 15 - 5 - 0, fighting out of London, Soloman van der Vaart!
The judges for this bout are James Glass, William Gold and Paul Tew.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fatherfockerusus misses with a low kick.
Nice defenses there by Fatherfockerusus.
van der Vaart thows a body shot but no joy.
van der Vaart throws the left hand but Fatherfockerusus avoids the punch easily.
Fatherfockerusus tries to bum rush van der Vaart with a series of wild strikes but van der Vaart uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
van der Vaart pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Fatherfockerusus ducks under a wild hook from van der Vaart.
Fatherfockerusus turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
van der Vaart slips a jab from Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus misses with a few strikes there.
van der Vaart misses with a wild body shot.
van der Vaart swings for the body but Fatherfockerusus moves out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
van der Vaart misses with an uppercut.
van der Vaart misses with a lunging right hand
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
van der Vaart throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
van der Vaart lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
van der Vaart looks to throw the jab but Fatherfockerusus is out of range.
Fatherfockerusus dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on van der Vaart. That did some damage!
Fatherfockerusus thows a body shot but no joy.
van der Vaart blocks a head kick by Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus thows a body shot but no joy.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
van der Vaart rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Fatherfockerusus moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
van der Vaart misses with a series of wild punches.
Fatherfockerusus ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
van der Vaart misses with a looping left.
van der Vaart throws a looping overhand right but Fatherfockerusus ducks down to avoid it.
van der Vaart throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
van der Vaart throws a hook but Fatherfockerusus avoids it easily.
van der Vaart misses with a double jab
and Fatherfockerusus counters with an outside leg kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
van der Vaart swinging wildly here.
Fatherfockerusus misses with a wild body shot.
Fatherfockerusus changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
van der Vaart defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Fatherfockerusus.
van der Vaart scores with a jab to the jaw.
van der Vaart avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
The crowd cheers as van der Vaart lands an impressive looking overhand right. Fatherfockerusus doesn't seem phased though.
Fatherfockerusus misses with a body kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Nice body kick there by Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus slips a jab and a cross from van der Vaart.
van der Vaart on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Fatherfockerusus connects with a jab.
Fatherfockerusus defending well as van der Vaart loads up on a big left hand.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Fatherfockerusus slips a jab from van der Vaart.
van der Vaart smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Fatherfockerusus defending well as van der Vaart loads up on a big left hand.
Fatherfockerusus scores with a decent looking hook.
van der Vaart uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Fatherfockerusus.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Soloman van der Vaart will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Fatherfockerusus steps to the side to avoid the strikes from van der Vaart.
Fatherfockerusus slips under a jab from van der Vaart.
Fatherfockerusus gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
van der Vaart swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
van der Vaart stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Fatherfockerusus throws a sloppy head kick and van der Vaart moves out of range easily.
Fatherfockerusus throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Fatherfockerusus fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Fatherfockerusus plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!

That's one minute gone in the round.
van der Vaart misses with a lunging right hand
and Fatherfockerusus counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
van der Vaart stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Fatherfockerusus gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
van der Vaart cracks Fatherfockerusus with an open hand slap.
van der Vaart misses with a body shot.
Fatherfockerusus shoots for a takedown but van der Vaart saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
van der Vaart misses with a double jab.
van der Vaart misses with a looping left.
van der Vaart throws an off balance right hand
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a good low kick that van der Vaart was not able to check.
Fatherfockerusus catches van der Vaart with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
van der Vaart throws an off balance right hand
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a left to the body.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Fatherfockerusus fakes high and swings low for a body shot but van der Vaart manages to avoid it.
Fatherfockerusus fails to land the takedown.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus. That's going to take a lot out of him.
van der Vaart throws a jab when Fatherfockerusus was well out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus looks to land a left hand but van der Vaart moved out of range nicely.
A left lands for Fatherfockerusus.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Fatherfockerusus, right into the meat.
van der Vaart throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
van der Vaart digs a good body shot into Fatherfockerusus's ribs.
Fatherfockerusus scores with a crisp jab that stopped van der Vaart in his tracks.
Some bone on bone action there as van der Vaart checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Good leg kick by Fatherfockerusus there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
van der Vaart looks to land a left hand but Fatherfockerusus moved out of range nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus misses with a series of wild punches.
van der Vaart is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
van der Vaart throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
van der Vaart scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
van der Vaart misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
van der Vaart looks to land a left hand but Fatherfockerusus moved out of range nicely.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Fatherfockerusus attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Fatherfockerusus ducks down and throws a hook to the body but van der Vaart moves away.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Soloman van der Vaart will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

van der Vaart displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Fatherfockerusus.
van der Vaart misses with a looping left.
Fatherfockerusus throws a nice outside leg kick.
Fatherfockerusus throws a left and a right that both miss
and van der Vaart counters with a series of strikes. Fatherfockerusus will be more careful next time no doubt.
van der Vaart throws a right hand that misses
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a nice low kick that buckles van der Vaart's knee momentarily.
van der Vaart pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Fatherfockerusus tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A nice leg kick lands there from Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract van der Vaart.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Nice defenses there by Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus lands a head shot.
van der Vaart avoids a kick to the body.
Fatherfockerusus misses with a low kick.
van der Vaart swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
van der Vaart throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Fatherfockerusus sees it coming and avoids it easily.
van der Vaart keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Fatherfockerusus connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
van der Vaart takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Soloman van der Vaart is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Fatherfockerusus closes the distance and clinches up with van der Vaart, looking for a takedown. Fatherfockerusus pushes van der Vaart against the cage but van der Vaart circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
van der Vaart waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Fatherfockerusus.
van der Vaart misses with an uppercut. Fatherfockerusus saw that one coming.
Fatherfockerusus works van der Vaart's body with a nice hook.
Fatherfockerusus shoots in for a takedown but van der Vaart shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus. That's going to take a lot out of him.
van der Vaart gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Fatherfockerusus missing with a left hand there. van der Vaart was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Fatherfockerusus looks to land a right hand but van der Vaart moved out of range.
Fatherfockerusus misses with a body kick.
van der Vaart swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Fatherfockerusus motions for van der Vaart to come forward. Fatherfockerusus throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
van der Vaart misses with a looping right.
Fatherfockerusus fails with the takedown.
van der Vaart throws an overhand right that lands on Fatherfockerusus's shoulder, as Fatherfockerusus tries to avoid the shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by van der Vaart.
Fatherfockerusus swings for the body but van der Vaart moves out of range.
Fatherfockerusus shoots in for a double leg but van der Vaart sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus is winning the standup battle so far.
van der Vaart misses with a double jab.
van der Vaart thows a body shot but no joy.
Fatherfockerusus misses with a series of wild punches.
van der Vaart misses with a left hand
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a nice body shot.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Fatherfockerusus uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from van der Vaart.
Fatherfockerusus throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus clearly takes that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

van der Vaart slaps away a takedown attempt from Fatherfockerusus, before circling back to the center of the mat.
van der Vaart scores with a sloppy right hand. Fatherfockerusus should have avoided that one.
Fatherfockerusus plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Fatherfockerusus walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
van der Vaart pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
van der Vaart throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
van der Vaart throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
van der Vaart connects with a right hand. Fatherfockerusus shakes it off.

That's one minute gone in the round.
van der Vaart lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Fatherfockerusus throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
van der Vaart swings widly with a right hand
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a nice low kick that buckles van der Vaart's knee momentarily.
van der Vaart might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
van der Vaart clobbers Fatherfockerusus with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
van der Vaart keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but van der Vaart is out of range.

van der Vaart gets caught on his heels momentarily as he allows Fatherfockerusus to score an easy takedown into full guard.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if van der Vaart can do anything to dispel that myth.
van der Vaart is looking to stand up but Fatherfockerusus isn't so interested in that idea.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus with a flurry of punches that miss.
Fatherfockerusus trying to control but van der Vaart is working from the bottom.
van der Vaart looking for a sweep. Not yet van der Vaart, not yet.
Fatherfockerusus throwing strikes from guard but van der Vaart blocks nicely.
van der Vaart has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as van der Vaart works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Fatherfockerusus throws a big right hand that misses.
Fatherfockerusus in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Fatherfockerusus trying to control but van der Vaart is working from the bottom.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Fatherfockerusus accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Fatherfockerusus throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as van der Vaart works some decent striking defense from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus with a flurry of punches that miss.
van der Vaart keeping moving, preventing Fatherfockerusus from controlling successfully.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Fatherfockerusus postures up in van der Vaart's guard and throws a big left but van der Vaart blocks it.
Fatherfockerusus postures up in van der Vaart's guard and throws a big left but van der Vaart blocks it.
Fatherfockerusus trying to control but van der Vaart is working from the bottom.
Fatherfockerusus controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Fatherfockerusus trying to control but van der Vaart is working from the bottom.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close fourth round but I would say that Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus will probably get the nod.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! This is the final round!

Fatherfockerusus tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Fatherfockerusus lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Fatherfockerusus shoots in for a double leg but van der Vaart sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
van der Vaart throws a right and a left that both miss.
Fatherfockerusus fakes high and swings low for a body shot but van der Vaart manages to avoid it.
Fatherfockerusus looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Nice uppercut there from van der Vaart.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A jab from van der Vaart misses.
van der Vaart lands with a good body shot.
Fatherfockerusus lands a right hook to the body.
A lazy left from Fatherfockerusus finds it's target.
Fatherfockerusus uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before van der Vaart has time to react.
Fatherfockerusus turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Nice cross by van der Vaart.
van der Vaart misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
van der Vaart throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a left to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fatherfockerusus fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and van der Vaart has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Fatherfockerusus with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Fatherfockerusus takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
van der Vaart throws an off balance right hand
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a thumping low kick.
Fatherfockerusus comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Fatherfockerusus tries a head kick but it misses.
Fatherfockerusus shoots in for a takedown but van der Vaart shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus. That's going to take a lot out of him.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus misses the shot to the body.
van der Vaart clobbers Fatherfockerusus with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
van der Vaart throws a wild combination but nothing lands.

A momentary lapse in concentration from van der Vaart enables Fatherfockerusus to shoot in and score with a neat double leg. van der Vaart manages to secure a closed guard as the fighters hit the mat.
Fatherfockerusus is looking to work some ground and pound but van der Vaart has wrist control.
Fatherfockerusus loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Fatherfockerusus missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
van der Vaart keeping full guard, as Fatherfockerusus tries to pass.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
van der Vaart avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Fatherfockerusus throws and elbow that misses. van der Vaart uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Fatherfockerusus's guard. Nice move by van der Vaart!

van der Vaart is posturing up here but Fatherfockerusus has hold of an arm and he's gone for an armbar! van der Vaart tries to roll out but it's too tight and van der Vaart has to tap! Slick submission there by Fatherfockerusus!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:42 of round 5, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus!
Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus retains his welterweight title!