PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Jack Ass (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jan Columbar (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Jan Columbar was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Ass
vs
Columbar

180 cm
27
196 lbs
14 - 5 - 1

175 cm
28
199 lbs
8 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Popeye’s Spinach - 159 + 158 Proof Supps

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 5 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Jack Ass!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Jan Columbar!
The judges for this bout are Tarja Halkonen, Ben Zyskovitsi and Anni Minnemäki.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Ass darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.
Ass is thwarting Columbar's attempts to control the position.
Columbar is in trouble now - Ass has advanced to mount!
Columbar is looking to get to half guard.
Ass trying to control but Columbar is having none of it.
Columbar really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Ass lands with some vicious ground and pound - can Columbar hang on?

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ass can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Columbar is looking to escape.
Columbar sneaks a leg under to get to half guard.

Columbar looking for submissions off his back.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Columbar avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Ass.
Ass not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Ass not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ass trying to control the pace.
Columbar is staying active underneath Ass, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Columbar is trying to control but can't.
Ass trying to control the action but Columbar is working from the bottom.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up, due to lack of activity on the part of Jack Ass.
Columbar moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
A big right from Ass misses.

Ass drives through with a takedown into guard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Ass working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Ass showing good wrestling skills to control the position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ass wants to control from the top but Columbar keeps moving.
Columbar preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Columbar controls Ass momentarily but Ass frees himself.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Ass sitting in guard, not really doing much.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up, due to lack of activity on the part of Jack Ass.
Columbar throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Columbar tries for a takedown but Ass sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
A chopping leg kick lands by Ass.
Jack Ass seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Columbar slips a straight right by Ass.
Ass jabs at Columbar's body.
Ass throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Columbar stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Ass avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Ass misses with a jab, cross combination.
Ass lands a jab to the head.
Ass scores with a shot to the body.
Ass misses with a series of wild punches.
Ass misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Jab, jab by Ass - just one landing.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Columbar has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Columbar drives through with a really nice takedown into side control.

Columbar tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jack Ass dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Ass checks a low kick from Columbar.

Ass shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in full mount! That's better than Ass was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
Ass wants to control the pace but Columbar is squirming around nicely.
Ass with shots to the head and body - Columbar looks very uncomfortable down there.
Ass throws an elbow from mount that misses. Lucky escape for Columbar because Ass loaded up on that one.
Columbar is bucking up trying to escape but Ass cracks him with another couple of good strikes.
Columbar working to try and regain half guard.
Columbar tries to hold on but Ass postures up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ass throwing strikes here but Columbar is writhing around nicely and avoiding any serious damage.
Ass avoids the attempt from Columbar to control.
Columbar tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Columbar is in a horrible position here. Ass smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
Columbar is bucking up trying to escape but Ass cracks him with another couple of good strikes.

Ass looking for a guillotine from mount but Columbar is having none of it.
The referee warns Columbar that he has to improve his position here as he takes two more clean shots to the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Columbar is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
Ass controlling from mount.
Ass is in the full mount, landing strikes.
Columbar is squirming around, avoiding Ass's attempts to control the action.
Ass postures up and cracks his opponent a couple of times before moving back into close ground control. Columbar looks a forlorn figure.
Ass is still in mount, landing shots to his trapped opponent. Columbar can't stay in a position like this for much longer.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ass working away from the top, dropping strikes.
Columbar is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.

Ass goes for an armbar but he's not got it… Columbar turns into him and now he's in Ass's guard.
Ass pulls Columbar in close to his closed guard and prevents Columbar from doing any damage or advancing position.
Columbar tries to free his leg and advance position but Ass is retaining full guard.
Ass thows some rabbit punches from the bottom but they don't do any damage.
Ass is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ass is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Ass with the ground and pound but Columbar uses the opportunity to regain guard.
Jack Ass overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Columbar is pulling down on Ass's head. It's preventing any offense from Ass, at least for the moment.
Ass trying to control but Columbar is working from the bottom.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Ass with a flurry of punches that miss.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jack Ass dominated that second round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Ass tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Columbar paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Columbar misses with a body kick.
Columbar cracks Ass with a right hand to the side of the head.
Ass throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Columbar fails with a takedown attempt.
Columbar throws a push kick but Ass slaps the foot to one side.
Ass stuffs the takedown attempt from Columbar. Columbar gets slowly back to his feet.
Ass throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Columbar stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Ass lands an overhand right.

Columbar gets tackled into the cage by Ass. Ass maintains the clinch.

Ass lands a takedown into guard.
Ass trying to control but Columbar is working from the bottom.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Ass got a little sloppy there for a moment and Columbar has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Ass has managed to get both his arms back between Columbar's legs - danger averted.
Columbar keeping moving, preventing Ass from controlling successfully.
Columbar bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Ass's guard.
Columbar throws a strike but Ass rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.
Ass forces his way into half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Columbar regains full guard, whilst avoiding punches from Ass.
Ass wants to control from the top but Columbar keeps moving.
Columbar tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Ass pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Columbar is keeping the position for now.
Ass passes into half guard.
Ass is looking to advance position but Columbar won't allow it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Columbar is trying to stand.
Ass performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Columbar wants to improve his position but Ass is controlling well.
Jan Columbar has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Ass is looking to advance position but Columbar won't allow it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jack Ass is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Ass wants to lay and pray for a moment but Columbar keeps working.
Ass throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Ass in particular looking to stall.
Ass trying to control the action but Columbar is working from the bottom.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.

We're going to have a standup here because Jack Ass wasn't active enough for the referee's liking.
Columbar looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Columbar misses with an attempted mid kick.

And that's the end of the fight!
Jack Ass showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Ass has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Tarja Halkonen scores the fight 30:27
Judge Ben Zyskovitsi scores the fight 30:27
Judge Anni Minnemäki scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Jack Ass!