PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Mark Two (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hank Patterson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Two comes to the cage accompanied by North Korean Army Girls Just Want To Have Fun. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Hank Patterson was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Two
vs
Patterson

180 cm
28
180 lbs
12 - 3 - 0

183 cm
27
185 lbs
11 - 6 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Non-Stop Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Mark Two!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 11 - 6 - 0, fighting out of New York, Hank Patterson!
The judges for this bout are Eddie Farnsworth, David Schapiro and Bruno Lombardi.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Patterson ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Two moves away.
Patterson lands with an uppercut that bounces Two off the cage and back into range.
Two wants to clinch up but Patterson keeps it at a distance.
Donk. Two catches Patterson right on the button with a cross.
Two misses with an uppercut. Patterson saw that one coming.
Patterson scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Two shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Patterson sprawls well. Patterson wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Two gets slowly back to his feet.
Two lands a head kick. Patterson smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Two uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Patterson.
Patterson slips under a jab from Two.
Patterson looks for the body kick but Two saw that one coming.
Patterson moves into range and connects with a jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Patterson moves out of range as Two strikes.
Two shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. Patterson defends it nicely.
The fighters circling - Patterson throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Patterson misses with a hook. Two ducked under it nicely.
Patterson blocks the body kick.
Patterson moves out of range as Two strikes.
Patterson misses with the combination.
Two shoots in for a takedown but Patterson shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Mark Two. That's going to take a lot out of him.

Two fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Patterson, pushing him back against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Two tries to pull guard but Patterson forces him back to his feet, against the cage.

Two escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Nice sprawl there from Patterson as Two shoots in.
Patterson connects with a right hand. Two shakes it off.
Patterson misses with a hook.
Two keeps Patterson at a distance using the push kick.
Patterson stuffs the takedown attempt from Two. Two gets slowly back to his feet.
Two will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Two looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Patterson takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Patterson lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Good work by Two as he checks the leg kick.
A cross from Patterson lands.
Two shoots in and drives through. Patterson sprawls well.
Patterson slips a straight right by Two.
Two jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Jab by Two.
Two ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Patterson misses with an uppercut.
Patterson throws an overhand right that lands on Two's shoulder, as Two tries to avoid the shot.
Two takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
Two thuds his shin into the meat of Patterson's side.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Patterson throws a body punch but Two moves out of range.
Two looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
A combination from Two does no damage.

Patterson gets caught napping as Two dives in and scores a takedown. Patterson manages to retain guard.
The referee wants the fighters to be more active or he's going to reset them on the feet.
Two sitting in guard, not really doing much.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Two loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Patterson preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Patterson really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Two. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
Patterson is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Two is controlling him.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Two postures up.
Two with a flurry of punches that miss.
Two trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Mark Two will probably get the nod.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Patterson tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Two was well out of range. Poor timing from Patterson.
Two takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Two throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Two punishes Patterson's body with a nice straight punch.
Two uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Patterson.
Two tries to score a power double leg takedown but Patterson sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Two somewhat.
Patterson scores with a push kick.

Patterson clinches up with Two and pushes him back against the cage.
Patterson working aggressively here.
Patterson throws a punch but it's blocked by Two.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Two can't break the clinch.
Two blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Two swings away with an uppercut that misses.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Patterson.
Patterson tries a body shot but Two blocks it.
Two can't get the takedown.

Two breaks from the clinch.
Patterson just misses with a punch to the body.
Patterson feints a jab promting Two to slip. Patterson then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Two slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.
Two misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Patterson.
Patterson throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Patterson lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Two checks a leg kick.
Two misses with a double jab.
Two cracks Patterson with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Two doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Two takes a swing at Patterson's ribcage but misses.
Nice defenses there by Two.
Hank Patterson is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Two looks to score with a jab to the body but Patterson is just out of range.
Patterson throws a low kick but it's checked well by Two.
Two misses with a looping left.
Two is looking to land body kicks.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Two scores with the left hand. Patterson knows he should have avoided that one.

It looks like Hank Patterson has been cut.

Two scores with a takedown into Patterson's guard.
Patterson trying to control the position.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Patterson is on top in guard.
Patterson wants to control from the top but Two keeps moving.
Two controlling the position.
Two has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Two tries to land a sweep but no joy.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Patterson is looking to stand up but Two won't let him.
Patterson postures up.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Hank Patterson was stalling too much, according to the referee.
Two displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Patterson throws out the jab.
Two misses the shot to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Patterson misses with a two punch combination.
Patterson is looking to slow Two down with leg kicks.
Two staying out of range there.
Patterson throws a hook but Two blocks it.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Two, right into the meat.
A jab from Two misses.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Patterson keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Patterson keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Two.
Patterson misses with an uppercut. Two saw that one coming.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Hank Patterson showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Hank Patterson's cut.
That's time! Two's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Two misses the shot to the body.

Patterson darts in and clinches Two up against the cage.
Two goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Patterson lands with a light punch inside.
Patterson can't find room to land a body shot as Two controls the action.
Patterson lands a right hand that snaps the head of Two backwards.
Two misses with a punch to the body.
Patterson lands a nice uppercut.
Patterson pushes Two back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Two wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Two wants to break the clinch but can't.
Two throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Pattersons head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Two wants to get back to striking at distance but Patterson won't allow it.
Patterson keeps control of Two as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Patterson lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Patterson tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Two tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Patterson working aggressively here.
Patterson is looking to break free of the clinch but Two has double underhooks.
Two jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Patterson walks away with a smile on his face. Two gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
Patterson lands a really nice looking cross but Two seems unphased.

Two shoots in for a takedown and gets it.
Patterson is controlling Two's position as best he can from this difficult position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Two is stalling here. Patterson is in no mood to hang around though. He's locked up a kimura from the bottom! Two seems to be keeping calm but he's forced to roll out of the hold and Patterson has ended up in side control on the top. Nice work.
Two keeps Patterson under control for a moment.

Patterson decides to stand back up. Patterson steps back and let's Two get back to his feet.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.

Patterson pushes Two up against the cage in a clinch.
Patterson prevents the takedown attempt.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Mark Two. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Two is working on a leg, looking for a takedown but Patterson is defending well.
Patterson lands a nice shot to the body.
Patterson lands with a light punch inside.
Two tries to circle away but Patterson has him pinned against the cage.
Two tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Patterson smiles and moves away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Patterson keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Two looks to score with a jab to the body but Patterson is just out of range.
Two displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Patterson throws out the jab.
Two lands with a straight right. Patterson didn't see that one coming.
Two tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Patterson was well out of range. Poor timing from Two.
Patterson moves out of range of the strikes.
Two misses with a body shot.
Two takes a swing at Patterson's ribcage but misses.
Patterson swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Two avoids a lazy jab quite easily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Two tests Patterson's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Two shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Two throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Two throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Two throws a head kick that misses.
A looping hook to the body misses from Two. Patterson does a little dance to reset his feet.
Nice uppercut lands for Patterson. That snapped Two's head back.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Patterson thows a left - swing and a miss!
Two thows a body shot but no joy.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Two misses with a shot to the body
and Patterson counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Two thinking.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Hank Patterson.
I think Patterson has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Eddie Farnsworth scores the fight 28:29
Judge David Schapiro scores the fight 28:30
Judge Bruno Lombardi scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Hank Patterson!
Hank Patterson very nearly forgot to thank Vandal Fight Boutique (prices $8 - $30) amongst all the excitement of his win but just as the interview came to a close, he screamed their name. Hopefully he'll get a few nice freebies in the mail as a thank you.