PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Big Hurt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hank Le Tank (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Le Tank has chosen The Trooper as his entrance music. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Hank Le Tank was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Hurt
vs
Le Tank

175 cm
30
146 lbs
15 - 6 - 0

169 cm
34
141 lbs
24 - 10 - 0

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 6 - 0, fighting out of New York, Big Hurt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Hank Le Tank!
The judges for this bout are Columbo Gatti, Lou da Vinci and Eddie Farnsworth.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Le Tank tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Hurt misses with a head kick.
Le Tank throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Hurt.
Le Tank throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Le Tank misses with a combination
and Hurt counters with a right hand to the body.
Le Tank on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Le Tank with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Hurt slaps away a takedown attempt from Le Tank, before circling back to the center of the mat.
Le Tank missing with a left hand there. Hurt was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Le Tank tries to close the distance and clinch up but Hurt swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Le Tank tries to close the distance and clinch but Hurt swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Hurt feints a jab promting Le Tank to slip. Hurt then demonstrates his capabilities by jabbing again. Le Tank slips again and ducks right into an uppercut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Hurt swats away the attempt to clinch by Le Tank.
Le Tank lands a nice hook to Hurt's body. Hurt takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Le Tank swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Hurt throws a right and a left that Le Tank avoids nicely.
Horrible takedown by Le Tank or perhaps it was just good defense by Hurt which made him look bad.
Le Tank loads up on a big right hand but Hurt slips the punch.
Hurt circles away from the clinch attempt
and Hurt counters with a one-two to the body.
Le Tank misses with a double jab.
Hurt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Le Tank avoids the head kick by Hurt.
Le Tank dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Le Tank on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.

Le Tank closes the distance and clinches.
Hurt wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Le Tank creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.

Hurt pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Hurt scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Hank Le Tank seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Hurt throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Hurt misses with a body kick.
Hurt changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Le Tank tries to avoid it but Hurt manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Le Tank to the ground. Le Tank escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
Hurt fails with a takedown attempt.

Le Tank shoots in and scores a nice double leg takedown into half guard.
Le Tank slips a nice elbow through Hurt's hands, connecting with Hurt's forehead.
Le Tank throwing shots but Hurt is blocking nicely.
Hurt is trying to stand.
Le Tank has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Le Tank is looking to pass Hurt's guard but actually Hurt recovers to full guard.
Le Tank postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.

Le Tank throws a sloppy strike and Hurt has hooked up an armbar on the loose arm! He's turned and extended fully! Le Tank is forced to tap! Great BJJ from Hurt!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:44 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Big Hurt!
A loyal slave to those sponsorship dollars, Big Hurt made sure he mentioned ANABOLIC **160** and LAUNDRY 95%, along with how happy he was to win his fight.