PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Homer Simpson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Stevie Walker (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Walker has chosen Tragically Hip- Thugs as his entrance music. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Simpson
vs
Walker

170 cm
33
156 lbs
28 - 13 - 0

168 cm
29
156 lbs
26 - 11 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Crippler's Corner

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 28 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Homer Simpson !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 26 - 11 - 1, fighting out of Montreal, Stevie Walker!
The judges for this bout are Dillan Fox, Ian Loll and Elvis Blanc.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Simpson bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Simpson scores with a crisp jab that stopped Walker in his tracks.
Walker lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Simpson swats away the attempt to clinch by Walker.
Homer Simpson seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Simpson swings for the body but Walker moves out of range.
Simpson tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Walker was well out of range. Poor timing from Simpson .
Walker moves forwards but Simpson connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Simpson scores with a jab. Walker acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Simpson throws a jab when Walker was well out of range.
Walker doesn't manage to clinch there - Simpson circles away.
Walker throws a looping overhand right but Simpson ducks down to avoid it.
Simpson misses with a body shot.
Simpson ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Walker moves away.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Simpson lands a jab to the head.
Walker on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Walker tries a low kick but Simpson avoids it.
Simpson bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Walker lands with a good body shot.
Simpson scores with a hook.
Simpson ducks under a wild hook from Walker.
Simpson throws a big shot that misses.
Walker thows a leg kick but Simpson checks it
enabling Simpson to counter with a crisp jab.
Simpson fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Walker has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Walker throws a right hand that misses
and Simpson makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Simpson jabs Walker right on the nose. Walker blinks but takes it well.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Walker.
Walker throws a half hearted mid kick.
Simpson uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Walker.
Simpson misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Walker lands a jab.
Walker slips a jab from Simpson .
Simpson wants to land a leg kick but Walker is out of range.
Walker moves out of range of the strikes.
Walker throws a nice outside leg kick.
Nice defenses there by Walker.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Walker throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Simpson counters with a thumping low kick.
Walker throws a hook but Simpson avoids it easily.
Simpson waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Walker.
An inside leg kick from Walker misses.
Walker misses with a left hand
and Simpson counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Walker uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Simpson .
Simpson throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Walker throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Simpson avoids the head kick by Walker.
Simpson throws a big shot that misses.
Simpson looks to land a right hand but Walker moved out of range.
Nice shot by Walker.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Good shot there by Simpson .
Walker tries to close the distance and clinch up but Simpson swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Simpson with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Walker to score with a decent uppercut.
Simpson buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Jab from Walker.
A jab from Simpson misses.
Walker lands a nice hook to Simpson 's body. Simpson takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Simpson blocks a leg kick.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson misses with a wild body shot.
Walker tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Simpson paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Walker slips a jab from Simpson .
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Homer Simpson will probably get the nod.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Nice uppercut lands for Walker. That snapped Simpson 's head back.
Simpson scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Simpson misses with a body shot.
Simpson has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Walker.
Simpson lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Walker throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Simpson showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Walker.
Simpson thuds a left hand into Walker's body.
Walker is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Simpson .
Walker just misses with a punch to the body.
Walker moves out of range as Simpson strikes.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Walker finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Simpson throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Simpson lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Walker has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Walker and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Simpson throws a jab but it's blocked by Walker.
Simpson misses with a looping left.
Simpson takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Walker takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Walker cracks Simpson with a right hand to the side of the head.
Simpson lands a leg kick that knocks Walker off balance momentarily.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Walker looking to land some kicks to the body here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Walker connects with an inside leg kick.
Simpson looks to score with a jab to the body but Walker is just out of range.
Walker misses with a head kick.
Walker takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Walker with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Simpson to score with a decent uppercut.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Simpson fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Walker is out of range.
Walker clobbers Simpson with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Simpson scores with a decent looking hook.
Simpson is looking to land body kicks.
Walker misses with a right hand
and Simpson cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
A low kick from Walker is predictable there
and Simpson counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson takes a swing at Walker's ribcage but misses.
Walker ducks right into an uppercut from Simpson .
Walker tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Simpson was well out of range. Poor timing from Walker.
Walker avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Simpson keeps Walker at a distance using the push kick.
Walker swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Walker just misses with a punch to the body.
Simpson swinging wildly here.
Simpson scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Walker looks to land a body kick but Simpson moved away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Walker avoids the head kick by Simpson .
Walker stuns Simpson with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.

Walker has managed to clinch.
Walker scores with a shot to the side of Simpson 's head.

Simpson manages to break the clinch.
Simpson connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Simpson misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Walker.
Walker walks into a left hand.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A telegraphed right hand from Walker misses the target.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Simpson wants to land a leg kick but Walker is out of range.
Simpson pulls out of a head kick attempt.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Homer Simpson dominated that second round.
That's time! Back to the action! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Walker uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Simpson .
Walker misses with an uppercut. Simpson saw that one coming.
Homer Simpson is winning the standup battle so far.
Simpson scores with a kick to the midsection.
A swing and a miss from Walker.
Simpson moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Walker moves out of range of the strikes.
A telegraphed right hand from Simpson misses the target.
Simpson with a hook.
Walker is looking to land body kicks.
Walker with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Simpson swings widly with a right hand
enabling Walker to counter with a crisp jab.
Simpson scores with a crisp jab that stopped Walker in his tracks.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Walker ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Simpson tries a low kick but Walker avoids it.
Simpson slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Walker ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Simpson moves away.
Walker has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Walker scores with a body shot.
Simpson goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Simpson scoring well with a low kick there.
Simpson lands with an uppercut that bounces Walker off the cage and back into range.
A slow jab from Simpson misses its intended target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A nice leg kick lands there from Walker.
Simpson ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Walker wants to clinch
and Simpson counters with a body kick that stops Walker in his tracks momentarily.
Stevie Walker has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Simpson misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Walker takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
The crowd cheers as Simpson lands an impressive looking overhand right. Walker doesn't seem phased though.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Nice body kick there by Simpson .
Simpson looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Walker throws a right hand that misses
and Walker takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Walker.
A cross from Simpson lands.
Simpson connects with a solid leg kick.
Simpson connects with an inside leg kick.
Walker throws a nice inside leg kick.
Walker misses with a wild body shot.
A big left from Walker misses.
Walker's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Walker throws a right and a left that Simpson avoids nicely.
Walker stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Simpson .
Walker throws a body punch but Simpson moves out of range.
Simpson dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Walker. That did some damage!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jab, jab by Simpson - just one landing.
Walker swings for the body but Simpson moves out of range.
Simpson steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Walker.
Simpson looks to land a body kick but Walker moved away.
Walker wants to clinch.
Walker takes a jab right on the kisser.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson lands with a straight right. Walker didn't see that one coming.
Walker connects with a nice looking jab.

And that's the end of the fight!
Homer Simpson showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Simpson , winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Dillan Fox scores the fight 30:27
Judge Ian Loll scores the fight 30:27
Judge Elvis Blanc scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Homer Simpson !
A relieved looking Homer Simpson thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.