PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Tubo Lard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Geodude Golem (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Lard comes to the ring accompanied by I'm Fat. Golem has chosen Geo dude geo geo dude as his entrance music. This should be fireworks!

Lard
vs
Golem

197 cm
27
223 lbs
10 - 5 - 0

191 cm
30
203 lbs
27 - 6 - 0

World class boxer
Insanely flexible

World class MT
Good gas tank

CEC Nutrition Q160

Hell's Balls Recovery (160)
TFP Graphics - Pit Inc

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Tubo Lard!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 27 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Geodude Golem!
The judges for this bout are Hirohito Nitta, Kenichi Hosakawa and Ren Mimura.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lard keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Golem steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Lard.
Golem lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Lard throws a nice inside leg kick.
Lard cracks the inside of Golem's front leg.
A clash of legs there as Golem blocks the low kick.
Golem throws a quick head kick that skims the top of Lard's head.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Lard is looking to score with low kicks.
Golem pivots, looking for a leg kick but Lard is out of range and Golem settles back down.
Golem misses with a looping right.
Golem blocks a jab.
Lard throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Golem.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lard throws a half hearted mid kick.
Lard swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Golem counters with a three punch combo that has Lard backing up. Lard nods at Golem to acknowledge the strikes.
A chopping leg kick lands by Lard.
Lard blocks the body kick.
Lard darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Golem takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Lard misses with a low kick.
Lard throws a low kick, looking for Golem's leg but Golem calmly moves out of range.
Golem misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Lard lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A combination from Lard does no damage.
Golem swings widly with a right hand
and Lard makes the exchange count by landing a cracking kick to the body. Golem really felt that one!
Lard scores with a hook.
Lard throws a head kick but Golem moves out of range.
Lard does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Golem checks a leg kick.
Good shot there by Lard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Golem thows a body shot but no joy.
Golem checks a leg kick nicely.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Tubo Lard dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Golem misses with a straight left.
Lard cracks the inside of Golem's front leg.
Tubo Lard seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Lard lands a jab to the nose.
Lard throws a series of punches but Golem moves out of range.
Golem throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Golem moves out of range of the body kick from Lard.
Golem swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Golem showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Lard.
Golem connects with a body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
An inside leg kick lands from Golem.
Lard lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
Lard connects with a body shot.
A low kick from Lard is predictable there
and Golem counters with a head kick.
Golem throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Golem slips under a jab.
Golem scoring well with a low kick there.
Tubo Lard is winning the standup battle so far.
Golem avoids a kick to the body.
Golem throws a leg kick that is checked
and Lard counters with a stiff right hand.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Golem lands a glancing blow to the side of Lard's head.
Golem lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Lard at a distance.
Golem on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
A low kick from Lard is predictable there
and Golem counters with a body kick.
Nice shot by Golem.
Golem cracks the inside of Lard's front leg.
Nice body punch from Lard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A clash of legs there as Golem blocks the low kick.
Lard scores with a head kick. Golem tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
Lard on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Geodude Golem will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's time! Back to the action!

Golem keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Lard.
Golem throws a body punch but Lard moves out of range.
Golem connects with a right hand. Lard shakes it off.
Golem misses with a few strikes there.
Lard connects with a leg kick. Golem looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Golem. Lard does a little dance to reset his feet.
Golem takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Golem looks to land a left hand but Lard moved out of range nicely.
Golem tries a low kick but Lard avoids it.
Golem takes one on the chin but keeps coming.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Good standup being displayed there by Golem as he connects with a hook.
Lard throws a chopping leg kick but Golem manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
A big right from Golem misses.
Lard lands a nice looking body kick.
A head kick misses from Lard.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Lard.
Lard moves out of range as Golem strikes.
Lard throws a leg kick
and Golem counters with a nice body shot.
Golem scores with a crisp jab that stopped Lard in his tracks.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lard lands with a good body shot.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Lard lands a jab to the head.
Good shot there by Golem.
Lard tries a low kick but Golem avoids it.
Lard misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Golem.
Lard throws a jab when Golem was well out of range.
Lard scores with a push kick.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Lard tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Good work by Golem as he checks the leg kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but Tubo Lard did the better work so I'd imagine he'll take it.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Lard steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Golem.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Lard lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Golem has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Golem and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Golem waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Lard.
Golem lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Golem's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Lard connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Golem scrambles back to his feet.
Lard checks a low kick from Golem.
Lard explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Lard scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Golem misses with a straight left.
Lard misses with a low kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lard scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Lard swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Lard listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Lard blocks a low kick nicely.
Lard listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Lard lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Lard fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Golem.
Golem's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Golem tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Lard was well out of range. Poor timing from Golem.
Golem throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lard fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Lard misses with a low kick.
Lard throws a body kick that misses.
Golem lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Lard looks to throw the jab but Golem is out of range.
Lard tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Lard throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Lard takes a swing at Golem's ribcage but misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Tubo Lard had his way with Geodude Golem in that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Decent striking displayed by Lard there.
Lard with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Golem takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Golem throws a body punch but Lard moves out of range.
Lard lands a leg kick that knocks Golem off balance momentarily.
Golem lands a nice hook to Lard's body. Lard takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Lard tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Golem was well out of range. Poor timing from Lard.
Lard takes a head kick and keeps coming.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Golem throws a leg kick but Lard moved away.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lard throws a leg kick
and Golem counters with a slapping leg kick.
Lard checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Tubo Lard is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Golem throws a lazy right hand but Lard sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Lard is looking to slow Golem down with leg kicks.
Golem throws a lazy right hand but Lard sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
A big right from Golem misses.
Geodude Golem has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Golem misses with a leg kick
and Lard counters with a slapping leg kick.
Lard goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Lard lands a leg kick that knocks Golem off balance momentarily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lard throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Lard throws a nice inside leg kick.
Golem doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Lard lands a high kick!
Lard throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Lard darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
A punch combination from Golem misses.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Golem has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Golem misses with a double jab.

And that's the end of the fight!
Tubo Lard showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Lard has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Hirohito Nitta scores the fight 49:46
Judge Kenichi Hosakawa scores the fight 49:46
Judge Ren Mimura scores the fight 49:46

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Tubo Lard!
Our winner, Tubo Lard, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.