PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Pete Palahnuik (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Uzannavabizch comes to the cage accompanied by Brandon Loveladdy's band WE ARE THE CHOSEN : BREAKING THE KARMIC CYCLE. The crowd seem to be enjoying Palahnuik's choice of entrance music: Machine Civilization. Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Uzannavabizch
vs
Palahnuik

189 cm
28
197 lbs
20 - 4 - 1

184 cm
28
189 lbs
11 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

STEEL PENN'S 160 OF STEEL $50 Rio

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 20 - 4 - 1, fighting out of Los Angeles, Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 11 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Pete Palahnuik!
The judges for this bout are Colin Fray, Chris Saunders and Ryoma Takatsuka.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Palahnuik pivots, looking for a leg kick but Uzannavabizch is out of range and Palahnuik settles back down.
A solid leg kick lands there for Palahnuik.
A looping hook to the body misses from Palahnuik. Uzannavabizch does a little dance to reset his feet.
Palahnuik tried to score with a low kick but Uzannavabizch checks it.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Palahnuik lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Uzannavabizch has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Uzannavabizch and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Palahnuik lands a jab.
Uzannavabizch checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Uzannavabizch tries to close the distance and clinch up but Palahnuik swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Palahnuik changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Uzannavabizch ducks under a wild hook from Palahnuik.
Nice body punch from Palahnuik.
Palahnuik chopping away at his opponent's legs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch throws a right hand that misses
and Palahnuik counters with a thumping low kick.
A jab from Uzannavabizch misses.
Palahnuik thows a left - swing and a miss!
Uzannavabizch tries to clinch but Palahnuik is having none of it.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Palahnuik, right into the meat.
Uzannavabizch blocks a jab.
Palahnuik is looking to chop away at Uzannavabizch's legs.
Uzannavabizch throws a quick inside leg kick.
Uzannavabizch lands with a thumping leg kick.
Nice defenses there by Uzannavabizch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Palahnuik misses with a leg kick.
Uzannavabizch pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Uzannavabizch avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Uzannavabizch uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Palahnuik.
Palahnuik connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Uzannavabizch's hands.
A combination from Palahnuik does no damage.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Palahnuik throws a leg kick that is checked
and Uzannavabizch counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Palahnuik connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Palahnuik tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
A decent looking cross lands there for Uzannavabizch.
Palahnuik feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Uzannavabizch's calf.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Palahnuik.
Uzannavabizch jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Uzannavabizch tries to clinch up but Palahnuik circles away and keeps his distance.

Uzannavabizch moves into the clinch.
Palahnuik tries to work over Uzannavabizch's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Uzannavabizch goes for a takedown attempt but Palahnuik pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Palahnuik throws a leg kick
and Uzannavabizch counters with a straight right hand.
Palahnuik misses with a straight right.
Palahnuik lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Pete Palahnuik is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Palahnuik connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Palahnuik comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Palahnuik scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Uzannavabizch doesn't seem bothered though.
A low kick from Palahnuik is predictable there
and Uzannavabizch counters with a nice leg kick.
Horrible takedown by Uzannavabizch or perhaps it was just good defense by Palahnuik which made him look bad.
Pete Palahnuik seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Palahnuik staying out of range there.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Palahnuik scores with a leg kick.
Uzannavabizch steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Palahnuik.
Uzannavabizch feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Palahnuik's calf.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Palahnuik wants to slow Uzannavabizch down by chopping away at his legs.
A thudding body kick lands there by Uzannavabizch!
Uzannavabizch tries to clinch up.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Pete Palahnuik dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Uzannavabizch scores to the head and body with a nice combination!
Uzannavabizch cracks Palahnuik with an open hand slap.
Palahnuik uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch needs to keep his hands up - Palahnuik had a free shot at his head there.
Palahnuik keeps the fight on the outside.
Palahnuik lands with a slapping head kick.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Palahnuik. Uzannavabizch shrugs it off though.
Uzannavabizch misses the body punch
and Palahnuik counters with a leg kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Uzannavabizch throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Palahnuik stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and Palahnuik wants it to stay on the feet.
A good leg kick by Uzannavabizch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Palahnuik connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Pete Palahnuik seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Palahnuik bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Palahnuik throws out a loose jab but Uzannavabizch uses good head movement to avoid it.
Uzannavabizch misses with a looping left.
Palahnuik misses with a low kick.
Palahnuik throws a sloppy head kick and Uzannavabizch moves out of range easily.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Uzannavabizch.
Uzannavabizch tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Palahnuik throws a leg kick that is checked

and Uzannavabizch counters with a takedown into full mount! That could mean trouble for Palahnuik!
Uzannavabizch looking to finish Palahnuik with some ground and pound. This is bad for Palahnuik!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Uzannavabizch sends his fist crashing into the mat - the crowd let out a collective ooooooh. Let's hope he's not broken it!
Uzannavabizch trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Palahnuik is in all sorts of trouble here.
Palahnuik taking shots to the head.
Uzannavabizch misses with a series of strikes from mount. He'll no doubt be working on his ground and pound when he gets back to the gym.
Uzannavabizch raining down shots from the mount!
Palahnuik holding onto his opponent's waist for dear life, as Uzannavabizch tries to land some strikes to get him to release his grip.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch cracks Palahnuik with a nasty head shot there - the crowd let out an audible gasp there, as the noise reverberated around the arena.
Uzannavabizch breaks from Palahnuik's wrist control and lands an elbow.
Uzannavabizch in mount throwing good strikes here, bouncing his opponent's head off the canvas.
Uzannavabizch looking to land elbow strikes but Palahnuik uses the position to regain half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Uzannavabizch seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Uzannavabizch misses with a head shot. Palahnuik uses the momentum to regain guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Uzannavabizch in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Uzannavabizch sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Palahnuik's guard.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Uzannavabizch perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.
Uzannavabizch looks to land a strike but Palahnuik avoids it nicely and regains full guard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Uzannavabizch lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
Uzannavabizch postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch dominated that second round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!

Uzannavabizch scores with a body shot.
Palahnuik pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Uzannavabizch fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Uzannavabizch is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Uzannavabizch pushes Palahnuik away with a front kick.
Palahnuik blocks a low kick nicely.
Uzannavabizch fails with a takedown attempt.
Palahnuik blocks the body kick.
Uzannavabizch lands a head kick!
Palahnuik takes a head kick and shrugs it off.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Palahnuik misses with the body kick
and Uzannavabizch cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Palahnuik lands a really nice looking cross but Uzannavabizch seems unphased.
Uzannavabizch checks a leg kick.
Palahnuik misses with a hook. Uzannavabizch ducked under it nicely.
An inside leg kick from Uzannavabizch misses.
A solid body kick from Uzannavabizch.
Palahnuik looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Palahnuik misses with a looping right.

Uzannavabizch scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.
Uzannavabizch content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Uzannavabizch is pressing down on Palahnuik's thigh, looking to free his foot. Palahnuik is holding on for now.
Uzannavabizch stalling away here and it's allowed Palahnuik to slip out his trapped foot and regain full guard.
Uzannavabizch trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Palahnuik manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Uzannavabizch is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Palahnuik must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Uzannavabizch looking to hit a scissor sweep but Palahnuik is one step ahead there.
Uzannavabizch is working hard here to advance position.
Palahnuik stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Uzannavabizch swivels though and keeps the full guard.

Uzannavabizch working away from the bottom but not quite defensive enough there because Palahnuik has passed into half guard!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Uzannavabizch trying to hold on to Palahnuik's head to control him but Palahnuik postures up.

Uzannavabizch looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Palahnuik wants to pass to mount but Uzannavabizch is defending the position.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Uzannavabizch looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Uzannavabizch tries to roll over but Palahnuik keeps him under control.

And that's the end of the fight!
Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Uzannavabizch has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Colin Fray scores the fight 29:28
Judge Chris Saunders scores the fight 29:28
Judge Ryoma Takatsuka scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch!
A victorious Phukyorselvf Uzannavabizch thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.