PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Roddy Piper (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Homer Simpson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Piper comes to the cage accompanied by Real Men Wear Skirts. Homer Simpson has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Piper
vs
Simpson

170 cm
33
153 lbs
35 - 11 - 1

170 cm
34
156 lbs
32 - 14 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

TFP Graphics - Pit Inc

Crippler's Corner
//buriedALIVE// Fight Gear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the featherweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 35 - 11 - 1, fighting out of New York, Roddy Piper!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 32 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Homer Simpson !
The judges for this bout are Robert Douchet, Elvis Blanc and Yves DeLean.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Simpson throws a quick inside leg kick.
Piper steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Simpson .
Piper misses the shot to the body.
Simpson scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Piper smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Simpson tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Simpson throws a head kick that half lands.
Piper misses with a looping left.
Simpson wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Piper jabs Simpson right on the nose. Simpson blinks but takes it well.
Piper takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Piper dives in and grabs Simpson 's left leg, looking for a takedown. Simpson pushes down on Piper's head and hops out.
Piper feints and then cracks Simpson 's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Simpson down.
Piper throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Simpson 's waist but Simpson gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Piper off to one side.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Simpson dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Simpson chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Piper swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Simpson counters with a good low kick that Piper was not able to check.
Simpson pulls out of a head kick attempt.
A low kick from Simpson misses
and Piper counters with a good low kick that Simpson was not able to check.
Simpson scores with a shot to the body.
Simpson fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Good exchange - Piper coming out on top.
Simpson displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Piper throws out the jab.
Simpson misses with a leg kick.
Simpson connects with a good right hand that stumbles Piper. Piper circles away out of range and recomposes himself.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Piper keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Simpson .
Simpson blocks a head kick by Piper.
Piper blocks a leg kick.
A lazy body kick from Simpson
and Piper counters with a left to the body.
Piper steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Simpson .
Simpson swinging wildly here.
Piper connects with a looping right hand.
Simpson throws a low kick but it's checked well by Piper.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Simpson throws a nice outside leg kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Piper connects with a body shot that sends Simpson 's belly button to the back.
A combination from Simpson does no damage.
Simpson throws a nice outside leg kick.
Piper tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Simpson was well out of range. Poor timing from Piper.
Piper on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Simpson . Simpson obviously looking to wear him down.
Simpson scores with a sloppy right hand. Piper should have avoided that one.
Simpson 's corner calls for a 1-2. Simpson obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Simpson misses with a body shot.
Simpson lands a front kick.
Simpson throws a low kick but it's checked well by Piper.
Piper connects with the punch.
Homer Simpson is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Simpson goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Piper thuds a left hand into Simpson 's body.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Piper moves out of range of the strikes.
Piper connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Simpson lands a nice leg kick that just misses Piper's sensitive parts.

Piper scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Piper is looking to take a break and control but Simpson is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Piper controls the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Homer Simpson will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Piper pushing out the jab but it's not landing.

Piper dives in and scores a takedown into Simpson 's guard.

Simpson has butterfly guard. He's looking to stand up here. He pushes Piper off him and springs to his feet nicely. The crowd applauds.
Piper throws a hook but Simpson blocks it.
Piper misses with a hook
and Simpson counters with a straight right hand.
Piper keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Simpson .
Simpson lands a jab-cross combination.
A head kick misses from Simpson .
Piper avoids a kick to the body.
Simpson with a nice cross.
Piper drops his hands momentarily and Simpson takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Simpson looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Piper tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Simpson was well out of range. Poor timing from Piper.
Simpson thumps Piper with a low kick.
Simpson pulls out of a head kick attempt.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Piper checks a leg kick.
Simpson finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Simpson fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Piper manages to avoid it.
Piper checks the leg kick nicely there.
Piper on the wrong end of a kick to the body.

Piper closes the distance and clinches.

Simpson manages to break the clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson avoids the head kick by Piper.
Simpson moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Piper shoots in looking for a takedown but Simpson manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Piper's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Simpson throws out a powerful jab.
Simpson fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Piper has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.

Piper drives through with a really nice takedown into side control.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Simpson managing to avoid any damage from the strikes thrown by Piper.
Piper has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Simpson is looking for a sweep.
Simpson is trying to escape and get back to his feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson is trying to improve his position.
Simpson is putting a lot of effort into getting back to his feet here.
Piper working the ground and pound from side control.
Simpson is working hard to escape and get back to his feet. After a battle for position, Piper asserts his dominance and retains side control.
Piper working the ground and pound but he's contacting the mat, not the fighter.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson can't do much from the bottom here.
Piper wants to control but Simpson is keeping him busy.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Simpson tries to buck Piper off but Piper is having none of it.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
You can see the frustration on Simpson 's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
Piper lands some shots froms side control.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Homer Simpson showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Piper fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Simpson .
Nice straight punches there by Simpson . You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Simpson .
Piper takes a swing at Simpson 's ribcage but misses.

Simpson gets caught flat footed, as Piper shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.
Piper pushes down on Simpson 's leg and manages to get into half guard.

Piper is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Simpson has managed to free his arm - good work.

Simpson makes some distance and scrambles quickly back to his feet. Nice work!

That's one minute gone in the round.
Piper gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Simpson lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Piper at a distance.
Simpson throws a nice looking combination but Piper bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Piper ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Good work by Simpson as he checks the leg kick.
Simpson throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
A bone on bone clash there as Piper blocks the leg kick.
Piper misses with a body kick.
Piper scores with a hook to the body. Simpson takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Piper takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Piper throws a half hearted mid kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Piper is looking to slow Simpson down with leg kicks.
Piper lands with a kick to the ribs.
Simpson takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Simpson misses with a leg kick
and Piper counters with a series of strikes. Simpson will be more careful next time no doubt.
Piper uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Simpson has time to react.
Simpson throws a low kick, looking for Piper's leg but Piper calmly moves out of range.
The fighters circling - Simpson throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Piper avoids the body shot from Simpson .
Piper looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Nice shot by Piper.
Simpson cracks Piper with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Piper avoids a lazy jab quite easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Simpson uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Piper.

Piper throws the overhand right but ducks down into a quick takedown attempt. Simpson was covering up waiting for the punch and Piper finishes the takedown easily into guard.
Piper prevents Simpson from getting back to his feet.
Simpson looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Simpson is trying to control the position but Piper postures up.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Simpson holds on and takes a little breather.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
Simpson keeping moving, preventing Piper from controlling successfully.

The ref stands the fighters back up, due to lack of action by Homer Simpson .
Piper is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Simpson lands with a right hand.
Piper tries a head kick but it misses.
Simpson lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
A looping hook to the body misses from Simpson . Piper does a little dance to reset his feet.
A looping hook to the body misses from Simpson . Piper does a little dance to reset his feet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Roddy Piper clearly takes that round.
That's time! Piper's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Simpson scores with a jab to the body.
Piper throws a series of punches but Simpson moves out of range.
Simpson just misses with a punch to the body.
Piper showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Simpson .
Homer Simpson seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Simpson checks the leg kick.
Simpson defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Piper.
Piper lands with a straight right. Simpson didn't see that one coming.
Nice sprawl there from Simpson as Piper shoots in.
Piper dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Simpson . That did some damage!
Piper thows a body shot but no joy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Piper scores with a nice head shot.
Some bone on bone action there as Piper checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Simpson lands a jab to Piper's midsection.
Piper checks a leg kick nicely.
Simpson fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Piper manages to avoid it.
Good work by Piper as he checks the leg kick.
Piper throws a lazy uppercut
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Simpson dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Piper uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Simpson .
Simpson is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Piper rather than just go for the knockout.
Simpson just misses with a punch to the body.
Piper is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Piper chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Simpson can pounce on him.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson digs a good body shot into Piper's ribs.
Simpson connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Simpson throws a lazy right hand but Piper sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Some wild striking there from Simpson .
Simpson lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Piper throws a quick head kick that skims the top of Simpson 's head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
The fighters circling - Simpson throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Simpson throws a leg kick but Piper sees it coming and moves out of range.
That kick from Piper tenderised Simpson 's leg. Simpson is trying to keep his angry face on.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Piper throws a head kick but Simpson moves out of range.
Simpson throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Simpson throws a body punch but Piper moves out of range.
Simpson misses with a body kick.
Piper fails in his attempt to clinch.
Piper misses the shot to the body.
Piper misses with a takedown attempt - Simpson sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Roddy Piper. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Piper moves out of range of the leg kick from Simpson .

Piper scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson wants to control the action here but instead Piper manages to pass to full mount!
Simpson is looking to improve his position but Piper isn't that keen on the idea.
Piper looking to control but Simpson is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Simpson trying desperately to get to his feet.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson takes a big shot to the head but keeps on trying to improve his position.
Piper scores with a couple of good head shots there.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Roddy Piper had his way with Homer Simpson in that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Simpson throws a lazy right hand but Piper sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Piper misses with a hook.
Simpson looks to land a right hand but Piper moved out of range.
Piper ducks under a wild hook from Simpson .
Simpson slips under a jab.
Simpson jabs at Piper's body.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Piper, right into the meat.
Piper waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Simpson .
Simpson lands with a nice body punch.
Simpson dodges the punch combination from Piper.
Simpson pushing out the jab but it's not landing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Piper shoots in and drives through. Simpson sprawls well.
Simpson misses with a low kick.
Simpson misses the shot to the body.
Simpson fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Piper.
Piper throws a head kick that misses
and Simpson counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Simpson lands a jab to Piper's midsection.
Both fighters circling a little - Simpson finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.
Simpson looks to land a body kick but Piper moved away.
A looping hook to the body misses from Simpson . Piper does a little dance to reset his feet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson misses with an uppercut
and Piper counters with an outside leg kick.
A cross from Simpson lands.
Simpson with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Piper checks a low kick from Simpson .
Piper tries to clinch but Simpson moves out of range.
Simpson displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Piper throws out the jab.
Piper throws a lazy right hand but Simpson sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Simpson scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Simpson throws a body punch but Piper moves out of range.
Simpson tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Piper is able to avoid easily.
Simpson slips a jab and a cross from Piper.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson connects with a body shot that sends Piper's belly button to the back.
Simpson misses with a wild body shot.
Piper tries to land a leg kick but Simpson saw it coming and moves away.
Piper scores with a jab to the jaw.
Simpson ducks right into an uppercut from Piper.
Simpson tries to land a leg kick but Piper saw it coming and moves away.
Simpson fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Piper takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Piper shoots for a double leg takedown but Simpson sprawls well. He's pushed Piper's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Simpson avoids the body shot from Piper.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson connects with a looping right hand.
Piper has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Simpson .
Piper chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Simpson can pounce on him.
Piper takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Nice body kick from Piper.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Piper rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Simpson moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Piper is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Simpson avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Piper closes this distance looking for a takedown but Simpson circles away.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Roddy Piper. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Simpson wants to land a leg kick but Piper is out of range.

And that's the end of the fight!
Homer Simpson comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Simpson has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Robert Douchet scores the fight 47:48
Judge Elvis Blanc scores the fight 47:48
Judge Yves DeLean scores the fight 47:48

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Homer Simpson !
Homer Simpson is the new featherweight champion!
A relieved looking Homer Simpson thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.