PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Japa Kaka (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Pete Palahnuik (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Palahnuik has chosen Machine Civilization as his entrance music. There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Kaka
vs
Palahnuik

190 cm
35
275 lbs
24 - 15 - 0

184 cm
29
189 lbs
12 - 4 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 24 - 15 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Japa Kaka!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 4 - 0, fighting out of London, Pete Palahnuik!
The judges for this bout are Jeff Smith, Paul Gruel and Roger Salmon.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kaka blocks a low kick nicely.
Donk. Palahnuik catches Kaka right on the button with a cross.
Kaka moves out of range as Palahnuik throws a body kick.
Palahnuik feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Kaka's calf.
Kaka walks into a straight right hand from Palahnuik.
Kaka showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Palahnuik.
Kaka tries to clinch up but Palahnuik circles away and keeps his distance.
Kaka doesn't manage to clinch there - Palahnuik circles away.
Palahnuik takes a jab right on the kisser.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
A slow jab from Palahnuik misses its intended target.
Palahnuik tries a low kick but Kaka avoids it.
The fight stays on the outside here - Kaka looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Sloppy strikes from Kaka. Those never looked like landing.
Kaka connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Palahnuik's hands.
Kaka scores with a hook.
Kaka fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Kaka tries to clinch up but Palahnuik circles away and keeps his distance.

Kaka has managed to clinch.
Kaka managing to block the knees to the body from Palahnuik.
Kaka swings away with an uppercut that misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kaka tries to throw a body punch but Palahnuik avoids it by throwing Kaka back against the cage.
Palahnuik working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Palahnuik jumps guard but Kaka turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
Kaka tries to throw a body punch but Palahnuik avoids it by throwing Kaka back against the cage.

Palahnuik's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Palahnuik throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Kaka tries to clinch up but Palahnuik circles away and keeps his distance.
Palahnuik lands with a nice body punch.
Palahnuik slips a straight right by Kaka.
Kaka blocks a low kick nicely.
A jab from Kaka does it's job there.
The fight stays on the outside here - Kaka looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Kaka blocks a jab.

Kaka moves into range and clinches up with Palahnuik.

Palahnuik has hold of one of Kaka's legs. Kaka is fighting the takedown attempt but Palahnuik gets the trip and lands the takedown into guard.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Kaka is looking to sweep but instead, Palahnuik has passed into half guard.
Kaka avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Palahnuik.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Palahnuik gets to his feet - back to striking we go!
Palahnuik throws a hook to the side of Kaka's head but Kaka sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.

Palahnuik tries to keep at a distance but Kaka has taken the fight into the clinch.

Palahnuik pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Palahnuik throws a wild body kick that Kaka sees coming a mile off.
Palahnuik fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Kaka manages to avoid it.
Kaka tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Palahnuik manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Palahnuik ducks under a wild hook from Kaka.
Kaka looks to clinch
and Palahnuik counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.

Kaka gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Kaka tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Palahnuik's elbow.
Kaka throws a head punch that misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kaka can't find room to land a body shot as Palahnuik controls the action.
A short right from Kaka.
Kaka throws a punch but it's blocked by Palahnuik.
Kaka scores with a nice hook to the head.
Kaka tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Knees in the clinch landing for Palahnuik.
Palahnuik cracks Kaka with a nice body shot.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kaka lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Palahnuik backwards.
Palahnuik gets through Kaka's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Kaka swings away with an uppercut that misses.
A body shot lands from Kaka.
Kaka tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.

Palahnuik gets a nice trip takedown into half guard.
Kaka keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Palahnuik performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Palahnuik trying to mount his opponent but Kaka defends it.
Palahnuik has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Palahnuik not doing much here.
Kaka knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Palahnuik on the ground.
The referee claps his hands together and tells the fighters to work.

OK we're going to have a standup here. Pete Palahnuik hasn't been effective enough on the ground and the referee wants a restart.
Palahnuik avoids the body shot from Kaka.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Kaka checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Palahnuik keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Palahnuik tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Kaka tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
The fighters circle momentarily. Palahnuik darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Pete Palahnuik dominated that round.
That's time! Kaka's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

A nice inside leg kick there by Palahnuik. That's going to slow Kaka down.
Kaka tries to bum rush Palahnuik with a series of wild strikes but Palahnuik uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Pete Palahnuik seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Palahnuik misses with a body shot.
Palahnuik tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Kaka was well out of range. Poor timing from Palahnuik.
Kaka tries to clinch but Palahnuik is having none of it.
Palahnuik lands a jab to Kaka's midsection.
Palahnuik jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.
Kaka tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Palahnuik counters with a slapping leg kick.
Kaka uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Palahnuik.
Kaka moves in looking to clinch but Palahnuik pushes him off.
Palahnuik thumps Kaka with a low kick.
Palahnuik swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Kaka.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Palahnuik swats away the attempt to clinch by Kaka.
Palahnuik fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Kaka manages to avoid it.
Palahnuik lands a high kick!
Palahnuik showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Kaka.
Kaka throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Kaka closes the distance looking to clinch
and Palahnuik counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kaka tries to clinch up but Palahnuik circles away and keeps his distance.
Kaka wants to clinch but Palahnuik slips to the side
and Palahnuik counters with an inside leg kick.
Palahnuik misses with a leg kick.
Japa Kaka is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Kaka throws a combination. Palahnuik tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
Kaka closes the distance looking to clinch
and Palahnuik counters with a nice uppercut.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Kaka checks a leg kick.
Kaka fails with an attempt to clinch.
Kaka fails with an attempt to clinch.

Kaka forces Palahnuik back against the cage and clinches.
Kaka tries to throw a body punch but Palahnuik avoids it by throwing Kaka back against the cage.
The step up in weight doesn't seem to be a problem for Palahnuik. He's performing admirably here against the bigger man.
Kaka misses with a punch on the inside.
Kaka lands with a short shot to the head.
Kaka lands a left hand that snaps the head of Palahnuik backwards.
Kaka can't find room to land a body shot as Palahnuik controls the action.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

Palahnuik's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Kaka tries to clinch but Palahnuik moves out of range.

Palahnuik closes the distance and clinches up, looking for a takedown. He shifts his weight and gets a nice trip into half guard.
Kaka keeping hold of Palahnuik's head, controlling as best he can.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
Palahnuik is working hard to pass the guard. He's done it - he's now in full mount! Trouble for Kaka!
Palahnuik throws some wild stikes that Kaka manages to avoid easily.
Kaka on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Kaka tries to get out of the position.
Palahnuik controlling from the full mount.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Palahnuik throws an elbow from mount that misses. Lucky escape for Kaka because Palahnuik loaded up on that one.
Palahnuik misses with a series of strikes from mount. He'll no doubt be working on his ground and pound when he gets back to the gym.
Palahnuik misses with a head shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Palahnuik thuds his fist into the canvas! Oooouch!
Palahnuik unloads with some shots from mount but Kaka bucks and avoids them well.
Kaka is in a horrible position here, under a barrage of strikes, he's managing to avoid any damage.
Palahnuik sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.
Palahnuik looking to ground and pound his opponent to a finish here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Pete Palahnuik showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Palahnuik tries to land a leg kick but Kaka saw it coming and moves away.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Palahnuik!
Kaka tries to clinch but Palahnuik moves out of range.
Kaka fails in his attempt to clinch.
Japa Kaka is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.

Kaka fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Palahnuik, pushing him back against the cage.
Kaka swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Palahnuik scores with a shot to the side of Kaka's head.
Palahnuik lands a hook to the side of the head.

Palahnuik decides to pull guard.

Palahnuik scrambles and gets back to his feet.
Palahnuik misses with an uppercut.
Palahnuik throws a sloppy head kick and Kaka moves out of range easily.
Kaka tries to close the distance and clinch but Palahnuik swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Palahnuik tries to score a power double leg takedown but Kaka sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Palahnuik somewhat.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kaka is looking to clinch but Palahnuik is avoiding it.
Palahnuik just misses with a punch to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kaka tries to close the distance and clinch but Palahnuik swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Palahnuik misses the jab.
Palahnuik pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Palahnuik pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Kaka avoids the body shot from Palahnuik.
Kaka catches Palahnuik with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Kaka closes the distance looking to clinch
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Kaka tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Palahnuik manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Kaka fails in his attempt to clinch.
Palahnuik with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Kaka throws a body punch but Palahnuik moves out of range.
Jab, jab by Kaka - just one landing.
A looping hook to the body misses from Kaka. Palahnuik does a little dance to reset his feet.
Kaka tries to clinch but Palahnuik moves out of range.
Japa Kaka seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kaka lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Kaka.
Palahnuik misses with a body kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Palahnuik buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Palahnuik misses with a body shot.
Kaka moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
Kaka is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Palahnuik throws a low kick but Kaka avoids it.
Kaka wants to clinch.
Kaka tries to clinch there but Palahnuik circles away.
Kaka throws a lazy right hand but Palahnuik sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Kaka checks a low kick from Palahnuik.
Palahnuik comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Palahnuik thumps Kaka with a low kick.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Nice cross by Palahnuik.
Kaka throws the kick towards the body but Palahnuik avoids it.
Palahnuik looks to score with a jab to the body but Kaka is just out of range.
Kaka throws a poor cross that misses
and Palahnuik cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Palahnuik swats away the attempt to clinch by Kaka.
Palahnuik scores with a jab to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Palahnuik avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Kaka tries to clinch
and Palahnuik counters with a nice low kick that buckles Kaka's knee momentarily.
Kaka tries to clinch up
and Palahnuik counters with a stiff right hand.
Palahnuik ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Kaka tries to clinch there but Palahnuik circles away.
Palahnuik misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Kaka.
Palahnuik throws the left hand but Kaka avoids the punch easily.
Palahnuik lands with a nice body punch.
Palahnuik lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
A jab lands there for Palahnuik.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Palahnuik feints and then cracks Kaka's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Kaka down.
Palahnuik throws a hook but Kaka avoids it easily.
Palahnuik connects with a single shot there.

Kaka is rocked!
Palahnuik throws a left jab followed by a right to the body, Oh Kaka colapses and takes a barrage of punches from Palahnuik as he moves to mount! the ref stops the fight and Kaka is left battered and dazed whilst Palahnuik and his camp cheer!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:55 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Pete Palahnuik!
Post fight, Pete Palahnuik took to the microphone: 'Though we do violence, it is our choice. We must not forget, WE ARE ALL ONE!'.