PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Lester Cockenschtuff (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kearney McGarrity (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cockenschtuff comes into the arena with Wynona's Big Brown Beaver by Primus blaring out of the sound system. The crowd seem to be enjoying McGarrity's choice of entrance music: Payback-Slayer. Kearney McGarrity acknowledges the crowd's support as he enters the cage.

Cockenschtuff
vs
McGarrity

193 cm
28
269 lbs
18 - 8 - 1

197 cm
31
257 lbs
19 - 8 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Hell's Balls Recovery (160)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 8 - 1, fighting out of New York, Lester Cockenschtuff!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 19 - 8 - 0, fighting out of New York, Kearney McGarrity!
The judges for this bout are Eddie Farnsworth, David Schapiro and John Roberts.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cockenschtuff works over McGarrity's head and body with a nice combination.

It looks like Kearney McGarrity has been cut.
Cockenschtuff moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
McGarrity shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
McGarrity lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
McGarrity misses with a straight right.
Cockenschtuff fails in his attempt to clinch.

Cockenschtuff closes the distance and clinches.
Cockenschtuff putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has McGarrity in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.
McGarrity looks winded!
McGarrity tries to pull guard but Cockenschtuff forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
Cockenschtuff lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
McGarrity misses with a punch on the inside.
Cockenschtuff scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Cockenschtuff lands an uppercut.
McGarrity fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Lester Cockenschtuff has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Kearney McGarrity.
Cockenschtuff lands a right hand.
Cockenschtuff lands with a short head shot on the inside.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cockenschtuff lands a shot to the body.
A right handed body shot lands from Cockenschtuff.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cockenschtuff tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Cockenschtuff throws a blind hook that connects with the side of McGarritys head.

McGarrity is rocked!
Cockenschtuff lands a body punch in the clinch.
McGarrity is still on wobbly legs! Can Cockenschtuff finish him?
Cockenschtuff lands a big right hand that drops McGarrity! The killer instinct kicks in and Cockenschtuff finishes his opponent with a series of strikes from mount. A dominating finish by Cockenschtuff!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:25 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Lester Cockenschtuff!
Lester Cockenschtuff retains his heavyweight title!
A relieved looking Lester Cockenschtuff thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.