PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Rafal Kozak (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Alfred E Neuman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kozak comes into the arena with Kazik 12 groszy blaring out of the sound system. Alfred E Neuman told me before the fight that he's been watching a lot of DVDs so let's see if that helps him in this one! I can't wait to find out!

Kozak
vs
E Neuman

188 cm
31
277 lbs
13 - 4 - 0

225 cm
22
300 lbs
6 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Decent wrestler
Excellent MT
Granite chin

$300

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Rafal Kozak!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Alfred E Neuman!
The judges for this bout are Marco Blurström, Ben Zyskovitsi and Arvi Lind.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

E Neuman tries to sprawl but Kozak drives through with a takedown into half guard.
E Neuman keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.

Kozak looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Kozak frees up his trapped foot and advances to mount.

Kozak is working on an americana here. Ooh, that looks pretty nasty! Nope, E Neuman has managed to escape the submission attempt.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Kozak connects with a couple of good shots from mount.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Kozak is working on an americana here. Ooh, that looks pretty nasty! Nope, E Neuman has managed to escape the submission attempt.

Kozak is controlling this nicely and is looking to make no mistakes. E Neuman is trying to wiggle out of this horrible position. E Neuman flips to his side and attempts to get a leg in for half guard. Kozak anticipates the leg and manages to get behind E Neuman and secures both hooks! This could be bad! Kozak slips an arm under E Neuman chin and tries to position for a rear naked choke. Kozak has worked the choke in now and it looks tight. Kozak is squeezing on E Neuman like an anaconda would it's prey. E Neuman fails to tap and has fallen unconscious! We've got ourselves a winner by way of a rear naked choke!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:36 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Rafal Kozak!
Rafal Kozak gave a mention to $300 in his post fight interview. That will please them (and hopefully generate some sales).