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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Homer Simpson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Roddy Piper (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Piper is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Real Men Wear Skirts. Homer Simpson could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Roddy Piper's chin.
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| 170 cm
36
156 lbs
38 - 16 - 0 |
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170 cm
35
153 lbs
40 - 13 - 1 |
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the featherweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
38 - 16 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Homer Simpson !
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
40 - 13 - 1, fighting out of New York, Roddy Piper!
The judges for this bout are Alec Ball, Steve Smith and Dillan Fox.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Piper is trying hard to land a takedown here. Simpson sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
Piper wants to clinch up but Simpson keeps it at a distance.
Piper misses with a head kick.
Piper lands the left hand.
A big left from Simpson misses.
Simpson lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Simpson cracks Piper with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
A looping hook to the body misses from Simpson . Piper does a little dance to reset his feet.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Piper is defended easily by Simpson .
Piper on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Piper bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Simpson 's head backwards.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Piper goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Simpson is looking to slow Piper down with leg kicks.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A nice inside leg kick there by Simpson . That's going to slow Piper down.
Piper throws a head kick but Simpson moves out of range.
Simpson changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Simpson lands a nice looking body kick.
Piper tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Simpson was well out of range. Poor timing from Piper.
Piper takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Simpson cracks the inside of Piper's front leg.
Piper feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
Simpson is adopting a defensive guard.
Piper looking to pass the guard.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Piper stopping the sweep attempt from Simpson .
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Piper must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Piper trying to control the position from guard on top but Simpson is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Simpson has Piper pulled in close to control his posture.
The ref stands the fighters back up because Homer Simpson just wasn't active enough.
A leg kick checked by Piper.
Simpson swats away the attempt to clinch by Piper.
Simpson lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Piper at a distance.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Piper scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Simpson lands a leg kick that knocks Piper off balance momentarily.
Piper looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Simpson moves out of range of the body kick from Piper.
A swing and a miss from Piper.
Piper shoots in for a takedown but Simpson shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Homer Simpson has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Roddy Piper.
Simpson keeps the fight on the outside.
Piper just misses with a punch to the body.
Piper shoots in for a double leg but Simpson sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Piper attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Piper thows a body shot but no joy.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Piper misses with a head kick.
Nice defenses there by Simpson .
Piper takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Simpson fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Piper has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Simpson ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Piper moves away.
Simpson lands a nice leg kick that just misses Piper's sensitive parts.
Simpson lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Simpson will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Piper misses with a left hand
and Simpson counters with a leg kick.
Piper throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Piper gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Simpson scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Homer Simpson dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!
Good exchange - Simpson coming out on top.
Simpson throws a head kick but Piper moves out of range.
Piper attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Piper throws a jab when Simpson was well out of range.
Donk. Piper catches Simpson right on the button with a cross.
Piper misses with a head kick.
Piper on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Simpson works Piper's body with a nice hook.
Piper has managed to clinch.
Piper fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Simpson breaks from the clinch.
A lazy left from Simpson finds it's target.
A punch combination from Simpson misses.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A solid leg kick lands there for Simpson .
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Simpson thows a body shot but no joy.
Simpson connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Simpson throws a right hand that misses
and Piper counters with a nice double leg into side control. Simpson won't be happy with that.
Piper goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Simpson rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Piper's guard! Nice work there by Simpson !
Simpson stands and steps away. Piper gets to his feet too and we're back to the striking game.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Piper fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Simpson has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Simpson throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Simpson scores with a jab. Piper acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
Piper's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson throws a nice outside leg kick.
Simpson throws the left hand but Piper avoids the punch easily.
Simpson takes a jab right on the kisser.
Simpson waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Piper.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Piper.
Piper throws an off balance right hand
and Simpson counters with a thumping low kick.
Simpson scores with a jab to the jaw.
Simpson displaying good standup as he scores with a three punch combination.
A low kick from Simpson is predictable there
so Piper counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Simpson is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Piper is controlling Simpson 's trapped leg to prevent Simpson from advancing to side control.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Piper is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Roddy Piper has got the better of the ground game so far.
Simpson content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Simpson stands up from half guard.
Homer Simpson is winning the standup battle so far.
Piper throws a lazy uppercut
and Simpson counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Piper throws a hook but Simpson blocks it.
Piper on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Simpson . Simpson obviously looking to wear him down.
Simpson keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Simpson fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
A looping hook to the body misses from Piper. Simpson does a little dance to reset his feet.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Piper moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Piper walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Simpson avoids a kick to the body.
Simpson swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Homer Simpson is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Simpson lands a lovely overhand right.
Simpson blocks the body kick.
Simpson ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Piper moves away.
Simpson does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Simpson ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Piper thows a left - swing and a miss!
Simpson thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Piper if he has to take too many more of those.
Piper pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
That was a close second round but I would say that Homer Simpson will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Piper.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Simpson .
Simpson avoids the head kick by Piper.
Simpson ducks under a wild hook from Piper.
Simpson throws a right hand that misses
and Piper decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in Simpson 's guard.
Piper is fighting to break Simpson 's control of his arms but Simpson is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
Simpson looking to control.
Piper trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Simpson is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Simpson is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Simpson seems to have lost interest with the ground game and is thinking about standing back up.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Simpson decides to return to a standing position.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Simpson , as that shot connected.
Piper has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Piper there as he acknowledges the shot.
Simpson blocks a head kick by Piper.
Piper throws a sloppy head kick and Simpson moves out of range easily.
Piper drops his hands momentarily and Simpson takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Simpson throws a leg kick that misses.
Piper blocks a low kick nicely.
Piper looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Good standup being displayed there by Simpson as he connects with a hook.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Simpson ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Piper has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Piper blocks a jab.
Piper fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Simpson is out of range.
Piper stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Simpson .
Piper throws a lazy head kick
and Simpson counters with a stiff right hand.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Simpson throws a nice looking combination but Piper bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Simpson lands a nice leg kick that just misses Piper's sensitive parts.
Simpson walks into a stiff left hand from Piper.
Simpson waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Piper.
Simpson throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
An inside leg kick from Piper misses.
Simpson misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Piper.
Piper lands with a good body shot.
Simpson looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Simpson ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Simpson lands a jab-cross combination.
Simpson looks to score with a jab to the body but Piper is just out of range.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Piper.
A low kick from Piper is predictable there
and Simpson counters with a body kick.
Piper throws a head kick but Simpson moves out of range.
Piper thows a body shot but no joy.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Piper takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Simpson misses with a head kick.
Simpson lets loose with a powerful body kick. Piper will feel that in the morning.
Piper on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Simpson . Simpson obviously looking to wear him down.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Good work by Piper as he checks the leg kick.
Simpson slips a jab and a cross from Piper.
Piper lands a leg kick that knocks Simpson off balance momentarily.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson avoids the head kick by Piper.
Good shot there by Simpson .
Piper connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
That was a close round but Homer Simpson did the better work so I'd imagine he'll take it.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.
Simpson fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Piper has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Piper misses with a wild body shot.
Piper throws a sloppy head kick
enabling Simpson to counter with a crisp jab.
Simpson dips to his left and cracks Piper with an uppercut!
Piper connects with a crisp jab.
Simpson swings for the body but Piper moves out of range.
Simpson walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Simpson throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Piper throws a body punch but Simpson moves out of range.
Simpson defending well as Piper loads up on a big left hand.
Simpson rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Piper counters with a nice double leg into side control. Simpson won't be happy with that.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Simpson is looking for a sweep.
That's one minute gone in the round.
You can see the frustration on Simpson 's face as Piper controls the position.
Piper wants to control but Simpson is keeping him busy.
Piper fails to land a wild elbow strike.
Piper trying to control the action but Simpson is working from the bottom.
Simpson is moving his hips around well on the bottom and has managed to get back to half guard.
Piper seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Simpson is refusing to be controlled, as Piper sits in half guard.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are battling for position here. Simpson manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Piper working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Simpson has control of Piper's left arm, preventing Piper from doing any damage.
Simpson looking to hit a scissor sweep but Piper is one step ahead there.
Piper wants to control from the top but Simpson keeps moving.
Simpson avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Simpson bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Piper's guard.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Piper not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Simpson content to stall in guard here.
Simpson gets to his feet. Piper looking to butt scoot but the ref puts an end to that. On your feet son!
Simpson feints and then cracks Piper's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Piper down.
Piper throws a body punch but Simpson moves out of range.
Piper falls off balance throwing a combination
and Piper takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Piper throws an overhand right that lands on Simpson 's shoulder, as Simpson tries to avoid the shot.
Piper tries to clinch up but Simpson circles away and keeps his distance.
Simpson tries a low kick but Piper avoids it.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Piper takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
A head kick misses from Piper.
Piper takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Nice body kick from Simpson .
Piper will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
A good leg kick by Simpson .
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Simpson 's corner calls for a 1-2. Simpson obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson lands a right hook to the body.
Simpson throws a head kick but Piper moves out of range.
Simpson misses with a straight left.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
That was a close fourth round but I would say that Homer Simpson will probably get the nod.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!
Piper has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Simpson .
Simpson checks the leg kick nicely there.
Piper throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
A jab from Piper misses.
Piper wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Piper fails with an attempt to clinch.
Simpson takes one on the button.
Simpson looks to throw the jab but Piper is out of range.
Piper throws a low kick but Simpson moves out of range easily.
Piper lands with a nice body punch.
Piper wants to land a leg kick but Simpson is out of range.
Roddy Piper has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
That's one minute gone in the round.
Simpson slaps away a takedown attempt from Piper, before circling back to the center of the mat.
A nice inside leg kick there by Simpson . That's going to slow Piper down.
Simpson checks the leg kick.
Piper doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Simpson looks for the body kick but Piper saw that one coming.
Simpson throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Piper takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Simpson throws a leg kick that misses.
Piper tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Simpson manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Simpson cracks Piper with an open hand slap.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Simpson blocks a low kick nicely.
Simpson dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Piper. That did some damage!
Piper fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Simpson avoids it really well and circles away.
Simpson chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Simpson lands an overhand right.
Simpson throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Simpson throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Piper stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Piper lands a jab to the nose.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson connects with a solid leg kick.
Piper pivots, looking for a leg kick but Simpson is out of range and Piper settles back down.
Simpson connects with a right hand. Piper shakes it off.
Piper on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Piper has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Simpson .
Piper will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Homer Simpson has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Roddy Piper.
Piper throws a nice inside leg kick.
Piper tries to clinch up
and Simpson makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Piper misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Simpson counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Simpson darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Piper misses the jab.
A good leg kick by Simpson .
Simpson takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Simpson throws a nice outside leg kick.
Simpson thuds a left hand into Piper's body.
Simpson lands with a good body shot.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Simpson bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Piper's head backwards.
Piper has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Simpson .
Piper tries to bum rush Simpson with a series of wild strikes but Simpson uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Homer Simpson .
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Simpson , winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Alec Ball scores the fight 49:48
Judge Steve Smith scores the fight 50:45
Judge Dillan Fox scores the fight 50:45
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Homer Simpson !
Homer Simpson is the new featherweight champion!
A relieved looking Homer Simpson thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
100% |
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