PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Austin Powers (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Arnie Ironz (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Ironz has chosen Limp Bizkit - Gold Cobra as his entrance music. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Powers
vs
Ironz

215 cm
31
275 lbs
25 - 9 - 0

188 cm
29
279 lbs
23 - 10 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Sex Panther! (160q recovery $149)

Reaper Combatwear
KAISER Nutrition (160!/220$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 25 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Austin Powers!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 23 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Arnie Ironz!
The judges for this bout are Richard Clark, Colin Fotheringham and Sam Margolis.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Ironz lands a leg kick that knocks Powers off balance momentarily.
Ironz waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Powers.
Ironz fails in his attempt to clinch.
Powers throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Ironz avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Ironz has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Ironz is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Powers.
Powers misses with a head kick.
Ironz takes a swing at Powers's ribcage but misses.
Ironz swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Powers thows a body shot but no joy.
Powers misses with a low kick.
Ironz lands a leg kick that knocks Powers off balance momentarily.
Powers takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Powers lands with an uppercut that bounces Ironz off the cage and back into range.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Ironz.
Powers connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Ironz misses with a hook. Powers ducked under it nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ironz tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Ironz.
Powers moves away from the strike by Ironz.
Powers blocks a leg kick.
Powers lands with a kick to the temple. Ironz shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"

It looks like Arnie Ironz has been cut.
Arnie Ironz seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A swing and a miss from Powers.

Powers lands a big head kick that sends Ironz tumbling to the mat! Powers takes a step backwards and waves Ironz back to his feet - he wants the finish!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Powers looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Ironz misses the jab.
A left and a right from Ironz both land. Nice combination.

It looks like Austin Powers has been cut.
Some bone on bone action there as Powers checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Ironz tries to clinch up but Powers circles away and keeps his distance.
Powers throws a right and a left that Ironz avoids nicely.
Ironz tries to clinch but Powers is having none of it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Powers swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Ironz wants to slow Powers down by chopping away at his legs.
Ironz throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Powers on the side of the head.
Ironz throws a leg kick that misses.
Ironz throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Powers swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Powers scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Ironz throws a solid leg kick but Powers takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Ironz.
Ironz pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Powers throws a sloppy head kick and Ironz moves out of range easily.
Powers avoids a kick to the body.
Powers misses with a body kick.
Ironz throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Ironz lands a lovely overhand right.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Powers tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Ironz was well out of range. Poor timing from Powers.
Ironz throws a front kick that sends Powers stumbling back into the cage.
Powers checks the leg kick nicely there.
Ironz throws a nice outside leg kick.
Powers on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Powers lands a head kick!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A looping hook to the body misses from Powers. Ironz does a little dance to reset his feet.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Ironz. Powers shrugs it off though.
Ironz misses with a wild body shot.

Powers lands a left and a right that send Ironz crashing to the mat, dazed. Powers thinks about following him to the mat but decides to wave him back up to his feet!

Ironz is rocked!
Powers misses with a head kick.
Ironz is still on wobbly legs! Can Powers finish him?
Powers tries a head kick but it misses.
Powers fakes the body blow, causing Ironz to drop his hands! Left hook to the temple! Ironz goes stiff, and falls face first into the mat. Goodnight!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Austin Powers!
A relieved looking Austin Powers thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.