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Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Zoey Malone (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). McWasteoffuckingtime's entrance music is Miracle - We Ain't Scared. A fine choice. Malone has chosen Boy Named Sue - Johnny Cash as his entrance music. I can't wait for this one - let's get the fighter introductions out of the way and get this one started!



185 cm
28
195 lbs
12 - 8 - 0
189 cm
32
218 lbs
14 - 12 - 0
Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible
Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Granite chin


-


-


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Zoey Malone!
The judges for this bout are Aleksei Zolotukhin, Fedor Mirinova and Aleksandr Martynov.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWasteoffuckingtime walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Malone checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Malone will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Malone connects with a body shot that sends McWasteoffuckingtime's belly button to the back.
McWasteoffuckingtime avoids the head kick by Malone.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a jab, cross combination.
Malone tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but McWasteoffuckingtime swivels and escapes.
Malone misses the shot to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime cracks a nice hook into Malone's ribs.
McWasteoffuckingtime blocks a low kick nicely.
Malone shoots in but no luck this time.
Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Zoey Malone.
McWasteoffuckingtime tries to work over Malone's front leg with a kick but Malone checks it.

Malone shoots in for a takedown and gets it.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Malone is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
McWasteoffuckingtime tries to kick Malone off but Malone keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
McWasteoffuckingtime has control of Malone's left arm, preventing Malone from doing any damage.
Malone won't allow McWasteoffuckingtime to get back to his feet.
Malone won't allow McWasteoffuckingtime to sweep him here.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as McWasteoffuckingtime holds on and takes a little breather.
Malone wants to control from the top but McWasteoffuckingtime keeps moving.
Malone won't allow McWasteoffuckingtime to sweep him here.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime wasn't doing enough on the ground.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a high kick!


It looks like Zoey Malone has been cut.
A swing and a miss from Malone.

McWasteoffuckingtime gets a clinch.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with some punches.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime prevents a body shot from Malone.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Good body shot from McWasteoffuckingtime.
Malone blocking some punches.
Malone misses with a body punch.
Malone tried to land a shot to the body but connects with McWasteoffuckingtime's elbow.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with the head strike.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands with a left to the head.
McWasteoffuckingtime is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Malone is keeping busy.
Malone wants to get back to striking at distance but McWasteoffuckingtime won't allow it.
McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a punch to the body.
Malone softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Malone prevents a body shot from McWasteoffuckingtime.
Malone struggles to land a body shot inside as McWasteoffuckingtime controls his hands.
Malone lands with a light punch inside.
McWasteoffuckingtime pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Malone blocks an elbow strike.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Malone blocks a body shot from McWasteoffuckingtime.
A nice left hand lands by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Malone misses with some punches.
McWasteoffuckingtime is trying to maintain a safe position but Malone gets an underhook and turns McWasteoffuckingtime into the cage.

Malone jumps guard.
Malone is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Malone utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
McWasteoffuckingtime trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
McWasteoffuckingtime throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Malone works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
McWasteoffuckingtime throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Malone works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Malone utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Malone trying to strike off his back.
McWasteoffuckingtime looking to pass the guard.
McWasteoffuckingtime has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
McWasteoffuckingtime wants to control from the top but Malone keeps moving.

Malone is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Malone has an active guard here but McWasteoffuckingtime has managed to pass into half guard.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Malone is doing well to control the position and prevent McWasteoffuckingtime from advancing to side control.
Malone is trying to get back to full guard.
McWasteoffuckingtime throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
McWasteoffuckingtime sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Malone defending well though.

Malone looking for submissions off his back.
Malone keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
The fighters are battling for position here. Malone manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
McWasteoffuckingtime throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Malone works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Malone keeping moving, preventing McWasteoffuckingtime from controlling successfully.
McWasteoffuckingtime landing some decent shots from guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Zoey Malone's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.


McWasteoffuckingtime misses with a body kick.
McWasteoffuckingtime avoids the head kick by Malone.
Malone pivots, looking for a leg kick but McWasteoffuckingtime is out of range and Malone settles back down.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting McWasteoffuckingtime here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
Malone takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Zoey Malone seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Malone moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Malone scores with a jab to the body.
A swing and a miss from Malone.
A jab from McWasteoffuckingtime misses.
A looping hook to the body misses from Malone. McWasteoffuckingtime does a little dance to reset his feet.
McWasteoffuckingtime digs a good body shot into Malone's ribs.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Malone checks a leg kick.
Malone connects with a body shot that sends McWasteoffuckingtime's belly button to the back.
McWasteoffuckingtime's corner calls for a 1-2. McWasteoffuckingtime obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A chopping leg kick lands by McWasteoffuckingtime.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Malone is defended easily by McWasteoffuckingtime.
The fighters circle momentarily. Malone darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
McWasteoffuckingtime keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
A bone on bone clash there as Malone blocks the leg kick.

McWasteoffuckingtime gets caught flat footed, as Malone shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.

Malone drops back looking for a leg! McWasteoffuckingtime is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and McWasteoffuckingtime manages to kick Malone off! Malone jumps back into McWasteoffuckingtime's guard.
McWasteoffuckingtime wants to stand up but Malone is controlling him.
Malone is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Malone wants to control from the top but McWasteoffuckingtime keeps moving.
McWasteoffuckingtime is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
McWasteoffuckingtime managing to control the position.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.
Malone preventing the sweep.

Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime has forced the referee to step in and bring the fight back to the feet.
Malone scoring well with a low kick there.
Malone is looking to slow McWasteoffuckingtime down with leg kicks.
Malone pulls out of a head kick attempt.
McWasteoffuckingtime checks the leg kick nicely there.
McWasteoffuckingtime feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Malone's calf.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Malone thows a leg kick but McWasteoffuckingtime checks it
and McWasteoffuckingtime counters with a straight right hand.
Malone throws a lazy uppercut
and McWasteoffuckingtime counters with a low kick, right behind Malone 's knee.
Malone misses with a body shot
and McWasteoffuckingtime counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Malone throws a leg kick but McWasteoffuckingtime sees it coming and moves out of range.
Malone avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
McWasteoffuckingtime scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
McWasteoffuckingtime looks to score with a jab to the body but Malone is just out of range.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a head kick but Malone moves out of range.
A solid leg kick lands there for Malone.
McWasteoffuckingtime scores with a hook.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Malone throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
McWasteoffuckingtime looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Malone throws an off balance right hand
and McWasteoffuckingtime counters with an outside leg kick.
McWasteoffuckingtime moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Malone has a takedown stuffed.
Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime is winning the standup battle so far.
Malone misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Zoey Malone.
Malone is breathing heavily.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands with a nice body punch.
Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Malone fails with a takedown attempt.
McWasteoffuckingtime jabs Malone to the body, keeping him at a distance.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

McWasteoffuckingtime has taken the fight to the clinch.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.

Malone manages to pull guard. Let's see whether he can land a sub off his back.
McWasteoffuckingtime loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Zoey Malone's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!


Malone connects with a high kick.
Malone misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from McWasteoffuckingtime.
Malone takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Malone has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Malone on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Malone takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Malone gets cracked there but stands up to it.


That has opened up Zoey Malone's cut even more.
McWasteoffuckingtime goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Malone misses with a hook.
Jab, jab by Malone - just one landing.
Malone wants to land a leg kick but McWasteoffuckingtime is out of range.
McWasteoffuckingtime lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Malone circles away quickly and effectively.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
McWasteoffuckingtime bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Malone takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWasteoffuckingtime scores with a leg kick.
Malone's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Malone walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
McWasteoffuckingtime plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Malone throws a lazy head kick
and McWasteoffuckingtime counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
McWasteoffuckingtime delivers a nice body kick.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

McWasteoffuckingtime fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Malone, pushing him back against the cage.
McWasteoffuckingtime working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
McWasteoffuckingtime scores with a nice hook to the head.


The cut above Zoey Malone's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
A short right from McWasteoffuckingtime on the inside.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a nice uppercut.
A short right from Malone.
Malone goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Malone prevents a body shot from McWasteoffuckingtime.
Malone is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A shot in the inside from McWasteoffuckingtime.
Malone changes levels and goes for a takedown here. McWasteoffuckingtime fights it off and pushes away nicely.
McWasteoffuckingtime takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
McWasteoffuckingtime tries to clinch but Malone is having none of it.
McWasteoffuckingtime wants to clinch up but Malone keeps it at a distance.
Malone throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a nice leg kick that just misses Malone's sensitive parts.
McWasteoffuckingtime pulls out of a head kick attempt.
McWasteoffuckingtime delivers a nice body kick.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a glancing blow to the side of Malone's head.
Zoey Malone has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Malone missing with a left hand there. McWasteoffuckingtime was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
A nice inside leg kick there by McWasteoffuckingtime. That's going to slow Malone down.
Malone misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
A solid leg kick lands there for McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Malone looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Zoey Malone.
McWasteoffuckingtime digs a good body shot into Malone's ribs.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a leg kick that knocks Malone off balance momentarily.
A head kick misses from McWasteoffuckingtime.
McWasteoffuckingtime lands a nice leg kick that just misses Malone's sensitive parts.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Decent striking displayed by McWasteoffuckingtime there.


Zoey Malone's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Malone throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by McWasteoffuckingtime.
Malone takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Malone on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by McWasteoffuckingtime. McWasteoffuckingtime obviously looking to wear him down.
McWasteoffuckingtime is looking to clinch.
Malone chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before McWasteoffuckingtime can pounce on him.
McWasteoffuckingtime jabs at Malone's body.
McWasteoffuckingtime comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
McWasteoffuckingtime throws a quick inside leg kick.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
McWasteoffuckingtime dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Malone. That did some damage!
Malone on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by McWasteoffuckingtime. McWasteoffuckingtime obviously looking to wear him down.
Nice sprawl there from McWasteoffuckingtime as Malone shoots in.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime showed his dominance in that final round.
Well McWasteoffuckingtime has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Aleksei Zolotukhin scores the fight 30:27
Judge Fedor Mirinova scores the fight 30:27
Judge Aleksandr Martynov scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime!

Our winner, Dumb McWasteoffuckingtime, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.
Zoey Malone was interviewed post fight and said 'Damn! That sucked!'.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
100%
 
 
 
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