PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Napoleon Dynamite (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Cardio Machine (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Machine has chosen Fergie - Party People as his entrance music. Cardio Machine will no doubt be looking to use his reach advantage to good effect.

Dynamite
vs
Machine

178 cm
27
168 lbs
15 - 9 - 0

190 cm
28
165 lbs
31 - 11 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Affordable Quality + Reliable Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 9 - 0, fighting out of London, Napoleon Dynamite!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 31 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Cardio Machine!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Franklin, Frank Dennis and Gwen Towbar.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Machine takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Machine tries for a takedown but Dynamite circles away easily
and Dynamite counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
An inside leg kick lands from Dynamite.
Machine is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Dynamite.
Machine misses with a takedown
and Dynamite counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Machine lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Dynamite punishes Machine's body with a nice straight punch.
Machine fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Napoleon Dynamite has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Cardio Machine.

Machine is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Dynamite's half guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Dynamite moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Machine won't allow Dynamite to get back to his feet.
Dynamite manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Machine manages to get himself to full guard.

Machine has his foot on Dynamite's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Dynamite works his way back into a safe position though.
Dynamite might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Machine keeping moving, preventing Dynamite from controlling successfully.
Dynamite distracts Machine with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Dynamite wants to stand and escape but instead Machine has hit a sweep and he's now on top in guard.
Dynamite manages to land a sweep and now he's in mount on top!
Dynamite punishing his opponent with strikes.
Machine really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Dynamite is landing with some decent strikes but Machine is trying to advance his position so the referee is letting the fight continue.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Machine is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
Dynamite with the ground and pound from mount.
Dynamite can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Machine is looking to escape.
Dynamite tries to push Machine's head away but Machine is holding on tight.
Machine is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Dynamite breaks from Machine's wrist control and lands an elbow.
Dynamite connects with a couple of good shots from mount.
Machine is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Machine slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Dynamite is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Machine has managed to free his arm - good work.
Dynamite sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Machine defending well though.

Dynamite looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
We've been hearing that Dynamite has been drilling a lot of ground and pound in training, so let's see if he get the finish.
Machine is trying to get back to full guard.
Dynamite trying to control the action but Machine is working from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dynamite is thwarting Machine's attempts to control the position.

Machine looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Dynamite trying to pass the guard but Machine defending well.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Machine moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.

Machine is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Machine has managed to work for a loose triangle. I think Dynamite should be able to defend this one pretty easily though. Oh, Machine has tightened it up now! Dynamite should have reacted faster there - he's in big trouble and yes, he's tapped out! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Cardio Machine!
Jumping up and down and very excited, Cardio Machine waved his t-shirt featuring New World Order Clothing's logo in front of the cameras.