PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Jima Jamm (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Eyeonly Fuckwell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fuckwell has chosen call to prayer as his entrance music. Eyeonly Fuckwell will no doubt be looking to use his reach advantage to good effect.

Jamm
vs
Fuckwell

179 cm
29
198 lbs
17 - 5 - 1

191 cm
33
194 lbs
20 - 12 - 1

Good wrestling
World class MT
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Jihad Fight Gear-Outkast Infidels Version
Jihad Fight Gear-Outkast Infidels Version

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 5 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Jima Jamm!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 12 - 1, fighting out of London, Eyeonly Fuckwell!
The judges for this bout are Anni Minnemäki, Marco Blurström and Arvi Lind.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fuckwell throws a hook but Jamm avoids it easily.
Fuckwell takes a swing at Jamm's ribcage but misses.
Fuckwell scores with a head kick. Jamm tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
Jamm lands with a shot to the body.

Jamm gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Jamm missing with knees to the body.
Jamm lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Fuckwell backwards.
Jamm prevents Fuckwell from breaking the clinch.
Jamm working Fuckwell over with knees to the body.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A frustrated look appears on Fuckwell's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Jamm can't find room to land a body shot as Fuckwell controls the action.
Fuckwell is looking to break free of the clinch but Jamm has double underhooks.
Fuckwell is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Fuckwell has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Fuckwell's coach down at Bromance Gym was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on Fuckwell's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
Jamm tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Fuckwell avoids it.

Fuckwell breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Jamm tries to clinch there but Fuckwell circles away.
The fighters circle momentarily. Fuckwell darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Jamm wants to clinch.

Jamm has managed to clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fuckwell is trying to push Jamm away but Jamm has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Jamm misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Fuckwell.
Jamm tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Fuckwell avoids it.

Jamm manages to break the clinch.
Jamm fails in his attempt to clinch.
Eyeonly Fuckwell seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Fuckwell swings for the body but Jamm moves out of range.
Fuckwell throws a hook to the side of Jamm's head but Jamm sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Fuckwell throws a lazy right hand but Jamm sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Jamm lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.

It looks like Eyeonly Fuckwell has been cut.
Jamm tries to clinch there but Fuckwell circles away.
Jamm tries to close the distance and clinch but Fuckwell swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Jamm with a nice cross.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Fuckwell throws a lazy uppercut
and Jamm counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Jamm pushing out the jab but it's not landing.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fuckwell swings away with a body shot that misses
and Jamm counters with a straight right hand.
Fuckwell fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Jamm manages to avoid it.

Jamm clinches up against the cage.
Fuckwell is trying to push Jamm away but Jamm has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.

Fuckwell's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Fuckwell ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Jamm misses with a low kick as Fuckwell jumps back.

Jamm closes the distance and clinches.
Jamm working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

Fuckwell is rocked!
Jamm lands an uppercut in the clinch that drops Fuckwell to his knees! Jamm keeps firing more shots against his stricken opponent and the referee jumps in to save him!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:47 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Jima Jamm!
A loyal slave to those sponsorship dollars, Jima Jamm made sure he mentioned BioPharm Nutrition, along with how happy he was to win his fight.
Eyeonly Fuckwell spoke after the fight, saying 'It's at times like this, one must reach deeply into his soul,challenge his heart, feel new courage, endure the fuck pain and say 'FUCK ISLAM AND MOHAMMED WAS A PEDOPHILE''.