PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Evil Kullervo (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Elijah Pitakaka (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Pitakaka has chosen my dick as his entrance music. Evil Kullervo could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Elijah Pitakaka's chin.

Kullervo
vs
Pitakaka

186 cm
24
209 lbs
7 - 1 - 0

189 cm
25
217 lbs
14 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Insanely flexible

BJJ Purple Belt
Lethal high kicks
Good gas tank

Hellbent
VICIOUS FIGHT GEAR

Hellbent
VIRAL COMBAT

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Evil Kullervo!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Elijah Pitakaka!
The judges for this bout are Micheangelo Fripello, Colin Fray and Chris Saunders.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jab, jab by Kullervo - just one landing.
Elijah Pitakaka seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kullervo ducks under a wild hook from Pitakaka.
Pitakaka tries a head kick but it misses.
Kullervo misses the shot to the body.
Pitakaka looks to land a body kick but Kullervo moved away.
Pitakaka misses with a body kick.
Kullervo looks to land a left hand but Pitakaka moved out of range nicely.
Pitakaka throws a half hearted mid kick.
Pitakaka throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
A nice inside leg kick there by Pitakaka. That's going to slow Kullervo down.
Kullervo cracks Pitakaka with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.

It looks like Elijah Pitakaka has been cut.
Pitakaka avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Pitakaka throws a half hearted mid kick.
Pitakaka throws a leg kick
and Kullervo counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Kullervo looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kullervo looks to land a left hand but Pitakaka moved out of range nicely.
Pitakaka throws a body kick that misses.
Pitakaka throws a low kick, looking for Kullervo's leg but Kullervo calmly moves out of range.
Pitakaka is looking to chop away at Kullervo's legs.
Pitakaka is looking to land body kicks.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kullervo misses the jab.
Kullervo lands a head kick. Pitakaka smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Kullervo connects with a leg kick. Pitakaka looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Pitakaka tries a head kick but it misses.
Pitakaka lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Kullervo doesn't manage to clinch there - Pitakaka circles away.
Pitakaka uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Kullervo.
A looping hook to the body misses from Kullervo. Pitakaka does a little dance to reset his feet.
Kullervo throws a wild body kick that Pitakaka sees coming a mile off.
Pitakaka lands a front kick.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Pitakaka misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A nice inside leg kick there by Pitakaka. That's going to slow Kullervo down.
Pitakaka scores with a spinning back kick!
Pitakaka scores with a kick to the midsection.
Pitakaka throws a push kick but Kullervo slaps the foot to one side.

Kullervo closes the distance and pushes Pitakaka back into the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pitakaka is trying to force a seperation but Kullervo has the dominant position.
A frustrated look appears on Pitakaka's face as he tries to break the clinch.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Kullervo takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
Pitakaka is trying to break the clinch but Kullervo is controlling him.
The fighters are pressed against the cage, as the pace of the fight slows.
Kullervo struggles to land a body shot inside as Pitakaka controls his hands.
Pitakaka is looking to break free of the clinch but Kullervo has double underhooks.
Kullervo scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Pitakaka wants to break the clinch but can't.
Kullervo lands a right hand that snaps the head of Pitakaka backwards.
Pitakaka tries to break the clinch but Kullervo is controlling the position.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Kullervo.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kullervo is working Pitakaka over against the cage.
Pitakaka tries to circle away but Kullervo has him pinned against the cage.
Pitakaka working hard to break the clinch.
Pitakaka tries to break the clinch but Kullervo is controlling the position.
Kullervo lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Pitakaka is trying to push Kullervo away but Kullervo has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.

Kullervo has managed to pull guard. Let's see whether he can work an aggressive guard. It will also be interesting to see what tactics Pitakaka uses from the top position.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
Kullervo controls Pitakaka momentarily but Pitakaka frees himself.

Kullervo looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
Pitakaka controls the pace of the fight for a moment.

Kullervo working away from the bottom but not quite defensive enough there because Pitakaka has passed into half guard!
Pitakaka wants to lay and pray for a moment but Kullervo keeps working.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kullervo trying to hold on to Pitakaka's head to control him but Pitakaka postures up.
Pitakaka wants to stand up but Kullervo is controlling the position.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kullervo is looking for a sweep. Pitakaka is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

Pitakaka decides to return to a standing position.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Kullervo checks a leg kick.
Pitakaka ducks under a wild hook from Kullervo.
Pitakaka pushes Kullervo away with a front kick.
Pitakaka throws a sloppy head kick and Kullervo moves out of range easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Evil Kullervo will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Elijah Pitakaka's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Kullervo takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Pitakaka with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Pitakaka tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Pitakaka throws a lazy right hand but Kullervo sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Kullervo misses the shot to the body.
Kullervo avoids a kick to the body.
Kullervo throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Pitakaka lands with a kick to the ribs.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Pitakaka.
Kullervo swings for the body but Pitakaka moves out of range.
Pitakaka throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Kullervo.
Pitakaka throws a sloppy head kick
and Kullervo counters with a good low kick that Pitakaka was not able to check.
Kullervo checks the leg kick nicely there.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A chopping leg kick lands by Pitakaka.
Pitakaka throws a body kick that misses.
Pitakaka pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kullervo is looking to clinch but Pitakaka is avoiding it.
Pitakaka misses with the body kick
and Pitakaka takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Kullervo throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Kullervo steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Pitakaka. That one must have hurt.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that misses.
Pitakaka moves out of range of the body kick.
Pitakaka takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Kullervo looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Good exchange - Kullervo coming out on top.
Kullervo scores with a jab.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Pitakaka throws a looping overhand right but Kullervo ducks down to avoid it.
Kullervo blocks a head kick by Pitakaka.
Pitakaka misses with a leg kick.
Kullervo ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Pitakaka moves away.
Pitakaka misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Pitakaka throws a sloppy head kick and Kullervo moves out of range easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kullervo scores with a hook to the body. Pitakaka takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Pitakaka lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Pitakaka does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Kullervo takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
The fight stays on the outside here - Kullervo looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Kullervo will be looking to protect his midsection after taking some solid kicks to the body.
Pitakaka connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
A head kick misses from Pitakaka.
Pitakaka pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Pitakaka tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Kullervo lands a slapping body shot.
A head kick misses from Pitakaka.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that misses.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that misses.
Kullervo with a nice cross.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The fight stays on the outside here - Kullervo looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Pitakaka looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Kullervo uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Pitakaka has time to react.
Kullervo goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
A jab lands there for Kullervo.
Pitakaka pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Pitakaka throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Kullervo throws a lazy right hand but Pitakaka sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Kullervo wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Kullervo waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Pitakaka.
Kullervo pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Kullervo chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Pitakaka can pounce on him.
Pitakaka lands a high kick!

It looks like Evil Kullervo has been cut.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A kick lands to the mid section there for Pitakaka.
Kullervo scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Pitakaka doesn't seem bothered though.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Kullervo.
Pitakaka is breathing heavily.
Pitakaka misses with a jab, cross combination.
Pitakaka throws a lazy head kick
and Kullervo counters with a lovely straight right hand!

Pitakaka is rocked!
Kullervo takes a swing at Pitakaka's ribcage but misses.
Pitakaka misses with a body kick.
Kullervo is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Pitakaka misses with a head kick.
Kullervo tries to clinch but Pitakaka is having none of it.
Pitakaka on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that misses
and Kullervo counters with a body kick that brings a smile to the face of both fighters.
Pitakaka tries to move into range but Kullervo moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Pitakaka is still on wobbly legs! Can Kullervo finish him?
Kullervo steps in with a hook that catches Pitakaka right on the chin and knocks him to the floor! Kullervo follows him down with more strikes and that's all she wrote! Pitakaka looks absolutely devastated.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:48 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Evil Kullervo!
Evil Kullervo retains his light heavyweight title!
A very excited looking Evil Kullervo made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.