PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Wooden Pencil (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dickie Crash (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Pencil's entrance music is Full Retard. A fine choice. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Dickie Crash was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Pencil
vs
Crash

185 cm
25
193 lbs
14 - 9 - 0

188 cm
25
200 lbs
7 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Dynamo Clothing

Fury Nutrition Inc.

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Wooden Pencil!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Dickie Crash!
The judges for this bout are Steve Smith, Dillan Fox and Alec Ball.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Pencil swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Crash lands a right hook to the body.
Pencil checks a leg kick.
Crash tries to clinch but Pencil is having none of it.
Crash throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Pencil throws a sloppy head kick
letting Crash counter with a right hand.
Pencil has been working on his boxing with his coaches at Training in the buildup to the fight.
A swing and a miss from Crash.
Crash avoids a kick to the body.
Pencil looks to land a left hand but Crash moved out of range nicely.
Crash fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Pencil manages to avoid it.
Pencil misses with a head kick.
Pencil is looking to slow Crash down with leg kicks.
Pencil misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Crash fails with an attempt to clinch.
Pencil throws a head kick that misses.
Crash throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.

Crash gets in close and instigates a clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Crash.
Crash tries to land knees in the clinch but Pencil avoids the damage to the body.

Pencil breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Pencil throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
Crash looks to land a combination but Pencil avoids it well.
A combination from Pencil does no damage.
Crash thumps Pencil with a low kick.
Crash feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Pencil's calf.
Crash showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Pencil.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Crash.
Pencil looks to score with a jab to the body but Crash is just out of range.
Pencil ducks under a wild hook from Crash.
Pencil takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Pencil throws a right hand that Crash ducks under and follows up with a left that Crash also avoids with ease.
Crash connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pencil throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
Pencil throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Crash is looking to clinch but Pencil is avoiding it.
Pencil misses with a kick to the body.
Pencil pushes Crash away with a front kick.
Crash takes a swing at Pencil's ribcage but misses.
The fight stays on the outside here - Crash looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Pencil misses with a head kick.

Crash has Pencil up against the cage in a clinch.
Crash lands with a short punch from the clinch.

Pencil breaks the clinch.
Crash throws an overhand right that lands on Pencil's shoulder, as Pencil tries to avoid the shot.
Crash lands with a slapping head kick.
Crash throws an overhand right that lands on Pencil's shoulder, as Pencil tries to avoid the shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pencil throws a series of punches but Crash avoids them all with ease.
Crash scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Crash bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Pencil's head.

Pencil is rocked!
Pencil misses with a head kick.
Oh Pencil is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Pencil bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Pencil keeps the fight on the outside.
Pencil seems to have got his legs back now.
Crash throws a leg kick but Pencil checks it.

Crash clinches.

Crash's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Pencil throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Crash pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Crash misses with a straight left.
Crash throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Crash connects with a right that clearly hurt Pencil. He's backed up against the cage with nowhere to go as Crash proceeds to tee off with vicious combinations till Pencil collapses and taps out under the pressure!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:58 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Dickie Crash!
Dickie Crash decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.