PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Dane Cook (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hans Gruber (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cook comes to the cage accompanied by I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick. There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Cook
vs
Gruber

182 cm
31
181 lbs
19 - 15 - 2

180 cm
29
178 lbs
10 - 12 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Powerful takedowns
Decent boxing
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 19 - 15 - 2, fighting out of Montreal, Dane Cook!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 12 - 0, fighting out of New York, Hans Gruber!
The judges for this bout are Dillan Fox, Alec Ball and Steve Smith.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Gruber ducks under a wild hook from Cook.
Gruber bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Gruber has been working on his striking defense in training and it's paying off as Cook is landing a low percentage of strikes.
Cook misses with a straight right.
Cook throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
A nice leg kick lands there from Cook.
Gruber displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cook throws out the jab.
Cook uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Gruber.
Cook avoids a punch combination nicely.
Cook moves out of range of the strikes.
Cook does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Cook throws a head kick but Gruber moves out of range.
Gruber slips under a jab.
Cook definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Cook looks to throw the jab but Gruber is out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cook thows a left - swing and a miss!
Gruber throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Cook tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Gruber was well out of range. Poor timing from Cook.

Gruber drops Cook with a right and a left! Gruber comes rushing in but Cook regains his composure and manages to keep Gruber in guard.

Cook is rocked!
Gruber throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Cook works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Oh Cook is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!
Gruber content to stall in guard here.
Gruber missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Gruber stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Cook swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Cook seems to have got his legs back now.
Gruber stands and throws Cook's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Gruber working away.
Cook looks to move to half guard but instead Gruber has passed into mount! Damn!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cook bucks up and manages to get a nice reversal! He's in guard on the top - nicely done!
Cook preventing the sweep.
Gruber not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Cook scores with a decent looking elbow strike.

Gruber working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Cook doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Cook manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Cook wants to control from the top but Gruber keeps moving.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cook makes a bit of distance and scores with some ground and pound, still in guard.
Gruber is trying to keep Cook in close.
Cook slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Gruber wants to sweep here but Cook controlling him for the moment.
Cook lands a couple of decent looking shots.
Cook controlling from the top position.
Gruber keeping moving, preventing Cook from controlling successfully.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Gruber looking to control.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.
Cook missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
Cook misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Cook looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Cook misses with the combination.
An inside leg kick lands from Cook.
Cook shuffles to his left behind two crisp jabs. Gruber eats them both and turns towards Cook to reposition himself and eats a stinging right hand-left hook combo.
Gruber avoids the body shot from Cook.
Cook uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Cook throws a shot from downtown. Gruber moves away and avoids it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dane Cook dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

A telegraphed right hand from Gruber misses the target.
Gruber throws a right hand that misses
and Cook counters with a three punch combo that has Gruber backing up. Gruber nods at Cook to acknowledge the strikes.
Cook looks to score with a jab to the body but Gruber is just out of range.
Cook looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Cook lands with a straight right. Gruber didn't see that one coming.
Gruber takes one on the button.
Gruber avoids a punch combination nicely.
Dane Cook seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A big left from Cook misses.
Cook with a hook.

Gruber is rocked!
A swing and a miss from Cook.
Gruber is still on wobbly legs! Can Cook finish him?
Cook plants his feet and throws a 3 punch combo. Miss, miss, boom! The third punch, a big right hook, connects right on the temple and drops Gruber to the mat, unconscious! This fight is all over! Gruber just couldn't keep out of the way of the whole flurry of punches!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:56 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). Dane Cook!
Dane Cook seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.