PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Ingemar Stenmark (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fatherfockerusus has chosen Born to be wild by Steppenwolf as his entrance music. Fatherfockerusus has a niggling injury. He would have liked to come in 100% fit but that's not always possible. Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Stenmark
vs
Fatherfockerusus

185 cm
27
180 lbs
2 - 2 - 0

186 cm
36
176 lbs
29 - 18 - 0

Decent wrestler
Basic striking
Likes comics

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Ingemar Stenmark!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 29 - 18 - 0, fighting out of London, Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus!
The judges for this bout are Donatello Bradman, Francis DeMontford and Damien Edna.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Fatherfockerusus gets caught napping as Stenmark dives in and scores a takedown. Fatherfockerusus manages to retain guard.
Fatherfockerusus looks winded!
The referee is pacing around the two fighters - he looks like he's thinking about a standup.
Stenmark throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Stenmark loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Stenmark trying to control but Fatherfockerusus is working from the bottom.
Stenmark stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Fatherfockerusus swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Stenmark scoring with punches to the head and body.
Stenmark postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
Stenmark trying to stand up but can't free himself from Fatherfockerusus's guard.
Stenmark trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

Fatherfockerusus has his foot on Stenmark's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Stenmark works his way back into a safe position though.
Stenmark scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Stenmark scoring with some ground and pound.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Stenmark trying to control the position from guard on top but Fatherfockerusus is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Stenmark tries to free his leg and advance position but Fatherfockerusus is retaining full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Stenmark trying to control the position from guard on top but Fatherfockerusus is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Stenmark trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Stenmark tries to free his leg and advance position but Fatherfockerusus is retaining full guard.
Stenmark has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.

Fatherfockerusus looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Stenmark passes into half guard.
Stenmark wants to pass to mount but Fatherfockerusus is defending the position.
Stenmark wants to lay and pray for a moment but Fatherfockerusus keeps working.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Stenmark wants to pass the guard but Fatherfockerusus is defending well.

Stenmark seems to be working for a kimura but Fatherfockerusus defends the submission attempt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus is trying to defend against the ground and pound but Stenmark scores with a couple of nice shots.
Stenmark wants to control but Fatherfockerusus is keeping him busy.
Fatherfockerusus is trying to maintain the position but Stenmark is very close to passing his half guard.
Fatherfockerusus tries to get to full guard but Stenmark has control of the leg.

Stenmark is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Fatherfockerusus defends it well.
Stenmark tries to pass to full mount but Fatherfockerusus defends it.
Stenmark wants to stand up but Fatherfockerusus is controlling the position.
Fatherfockerusus is looking for a sweep. Stenmark is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Stenmark looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Fatherfockerusus with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.
Fatherfockerusus trying to hold on to Stenmark's head to control him but Stenmark postures up.
Fatherfockerusus moves into full guard.
Stenmark postures up in Fatherfockerusus's guard and throws a big left but Fatherfockerusus blocks it.
Stenmark tries to free his leg and advance position but Fatherfockerusus is retaining full guard.
Stenmark throwing strikes from guard but Fatherfockerusus blocks nicely.
Stenmark stopping the sweep attempt from Fatherfockerusus.

Fatherfockerusus is working actively from the bottom, looking for submissions. He's escaped his hips to the side and he's going for an armbar! Stenmark has his hands clasped together but Fatherfockerusus extends and breaks Stenmark's desperate grasp, forcing a tap out due to armbar! Nice BJJ displayed there by Fatherfockerusus.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:58 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus!
An out of breath Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.