PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Charlie Sheen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Lucifrous Satanous (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Sheen comes to the cage accompanied by Winning! - Charlie Sheen. Satanous has chosen Put You To Bed as his entrance music. Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!

Sheen
vs
Satanous

200 cm
31
266 lbs
25 - 12 - 2

184 cm
30
260 lbs
16 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Excellent grappler
Decent boxing
Good gas tank

Fury Nutrition Inc.

Zipp Zapp

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 25 - 12 - 2, fighting out of Amsterdam, Charlie Sheen!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 16 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Lucifrous Satanous!
The judges for this bout are Paulsen Ambrosius, Daniel Blasius and Albert Achterberg.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Satanous checks the leg kick nicely there.
A shot to the liver by Satanous. Beautiful body shot.

Excellent takedown into side control there by Sheen.
Satanous tries to bench press Sheen off him but Sheen keeps the position.
Sheen happy to just control the position for now.
Satanous tries to work a leg under to get back to half guard but Sheen wriggles his own leg back out and remains in side control.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Sheen is looking to take a break and control but Satanous is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Satanous gets back to half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Satanous trying to control but Sheen postures up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sheen prevents Satanous from improving his position.
Satanous wants to control but Sheen is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Sheen is pressing down on Satanous's thigh, looking to free his foot. Satanous is holding on for now.
Sheen content to control rather than advance.

Satanous looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Sheen is controlling the pace.
Satanous manages to get to full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Sheen wants to pass the guard but Satanous is keeping the position.
Satanous is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

Satanous is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Sheen passes into half guard.
Sheen is trying to get back to his feet now but his leg is trapped.
Sheen will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Satanous is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Sheen content to control rather than advance.
The referee claps his hands together and tells the fighters to work.
Sheen seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Satanous does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Still in half guard, Sheen seems content to control.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Satanous.
Sheen lands a nice looking body shot.
Satanous misses with a jab, cross combination.
Satanous misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Sheen.
A slow jab from Satanous misses its intended target.
Sheen checks the leg kick nicely there.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Satanous misses with a wild body shot.
Sheen stuns Satanous with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Satanous looks winded!
Sheen scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Sheen throws a body punch but Satanous moves out of range.

Sheen closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Satanous to the mat! Satanous manages to get full guard.
Sheen stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Satanous swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Sheen not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.

Satanous is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Sheen defends well.
Sheen wants to control from the top but Satanous keeps moving.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Sheen postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Charlie Sheen dominated that round.
That's time! Sheen's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Satanous ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Sheen tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Satanous was well out of range. Poor timing from Sheen.
Sheen throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Satanous on the side of the head.

It looks like Lucifrous Satanous has been cut.
Satanous just misses with a punch to the body.
Satanous takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Sheen just misses with a punch to the body.
Sheen fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Satanous manages to avoid it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Satanous. Sheen does a little dance to reset his feet.
Satanous wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Sheen connects with a solid leg kick.
A big left from Sheen misses.
Sheen swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Satanous uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Sheen.

Sheen shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches Satanous napping and manages to drive through into side control!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Satanous tries to improve position but can't.
Satanous keeps trying to improve his position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Satanous is not content to let Sheen control the position.
Charlie Sheen overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Sheen throws a knee to the body but it doesn't do much damage.

Sheen tries for a kimura but Satanous is defending well.
Sheen is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Satanous can do to turn this around?
Satanous is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Satanous is not content to let Sheen control the position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Satanous tries to bench press Sheen off him but Sheen keeps the position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Sheen trying to control the action but Satanous is working from the bottom.
Satanous is letting Sheen control him for a moment.
Satanous manages to get back to half guard.

Satanous looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.

Satanous looking to force a kimura from the bottom here. He's concentrating on that move too much though and Sheen pushes past his half guard into mount!
Satanous can't escape the position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Sheen sends his fist crashing into the mat - the crowd let out a collective ooooooh. Let's hope he's not broken it!
Sheen wants to control the pace but Satanous is squirming around nicely.
Satanous is looking to get to half guard.
Sheen controlling his opponent.
Satanous is working to get back to half guard.
Sheen can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Satanous is looking to escape.
Satanous is desperately trying to get back to half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Sheen tries to control but Satanous wriggling away.
Sheen is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Satanous is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.
Satanous is in all sorts of trouble here.
Satanous bucks up and manages to get a nice reversal! He's in guard on the top - nicely done!
Sheen is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Sheen is trying to control the position but Satanous postures up.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Sheen controlling Satanous's posture.
Sheen avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Charlie Sheen dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Lucifrous Satanous's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Satanous shoots in looking for a takedown but Sheen manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Satanous's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.

Satanous throws a loose over hand right and dives in with a double leg takedown. Sheen tries to sprawl but it's too late and the fighters hit the mat. Satanous is in Sheen's guard.
Satanous chips away with some ground and pound.
Sheen working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Satanous.
Satanous makes a bit of distance and scores with some ground and pound, still in guard.
Sheen pulls Satanous in close to prevent any damage.
Satanous trying to control the position from guard on top but Sheen is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Sheen controlling Satanous's posture.
Satanous throws a big right hand that misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Satanous throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Sheen looking for a sweep. Not yet Sheen, not yet.
Satanous throws a big right hand that misses.
Satanous working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Sheen's head.
Satanous wants to control from the top but Sheen keeps moving.
Satanous throwing strikes from guard but Sheen blocks nicely.
Satanous postures up and scores with a shot to the body and a follow up elbow to the head.
Sheen avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Satanous passes Sheen's left leg - he's now in half guard.
Satanous is trying to control. Sheen wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Sheen keeping control of the leg, stopping his opponent passing to mount.
Sheen is looking to improve his position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Sheen blocking the ground and pound attempt from Satanous.
Satanous prevents Sheen from improving his position.
Satanous not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Satanous throwing shots but Sheen is blocking nicely.
Satanous is keen to just control but Sheen is a slippery customer.
Sheen avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Satanous.
Satanous not landing any meaningful shots this time.
Sheen has his hands clasped together around Satanous's back. He's all about the action.
Satanous throwing shots but Sheen is blocking nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Satanous tries to pass the half guard into mount. Sheen knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Satanous throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
Satanous trying to control the action but Sheen is working from the bottom.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Satanous slips a jab from Sheen.
Satanous misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Sheen counters with a stiff right hand.
Satanous lands a jab to Sheen's midsection.
Sheen is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Sheen fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Satanous manages to avoid it.
Sheen smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Charlie Sheen is winning the standup battle so far.
Sheen swings for the body but Satanous moves out of range.

Sheen lands a big uppercut and Satanous crumbles to the floor! The ref thinks about stopping the fight but Satanous looks OK. Sheen waves Satanous back to his feet!

Satanous is rocked!

That has opened up Lucifrous Satanous's cut even more.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Satanous tries to clinch there but Sheen circles away.
Satanous is still on wobbly legs! Can Sheen finish him?
Sheen swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Sheen uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Satanous.
Lucifrous Satanous has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Satanous seems to have recovered his senses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

The fight moves into the clinch position.

Satanous pulls guard successfully.

Satanous is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Sheen defends well.
Sheen controls the pace of the fight for a moment.

Satanous had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Sheen defends it easily.

Satanous looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
Satanous takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Satanous keeping moving, preventing Sheen from controlling successfully.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Lucifrous Satanous.
I think Sheen has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Paulsen Ambrosius scores the fight 29:28
Judge Daniel Blasius scores the fight 29:28
Judge Albert Achterberg scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Charlie Sheen!
An out of breath Charlie Sheen thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.