PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Oompa Loompa (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Homer Simpson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Loompa comes to the cage accompanied by Faded. Homer Simpson has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Oompa Loompa's chin.

Loompa
vs
Simpson

153 cm
29
139 lbs
27 - 8 - 0

170 cm
41
156 lbs
47 - 23 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Milwaukee's Best 160 (85% laundry)
Reaper Combatwear

GREEN!160

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 27 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Oompa Loompa!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 47 - 23 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Homer Simpson!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Jack Bonds and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Simpson lands a head shot.
A telegraphed right hand from Simpson misses the target.
Nice uppercut there from Simpson.
Loompa moves out of range of the strikes.
A lazy left from Loompa finds it's target.

Loompa shoots in from a long way out. He's driving through with the takedown attempt and he eventually gets it, landing in Simpson's guard.
Simpson keeping full guard, as Loompa tries to pass.
Simpson wants to stand up but Loompa is controlling him.
Loompa trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Loompa is looking to work some ground and pound but Simpson has wrist control.
Loompa might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Loompa stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Simpson swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Loompa has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Loompa landing some decent shots from guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Loompa advances to half guard.
Simpson is not content to let Loompa control the position.
Loompa prevents Simpson from improving his position.
Simpson has his hands clasped together around Loompa's back. He's all about the action.
Loompa trying to control the action but Simpson is working from the bottom.

Loompa is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Simpson defends it well.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Simpson is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Simpson is looking to escape.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Loompa looks to throw a body kick
and Simpson counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Loompa misses with a looping left.
Simpson slips a straight right by Loompa.
A slow jab from Loompa misses its intended target.
Good work by Simpson as he checks the leg kick.
Simpson does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Simpson wants to slow Loompa down by chopping away at his legs.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson stuffs the takedown attempt from Loompa. Loompa gets slowly back to his feet.
Some wild striking there from Loompa.
Simpson ducks under a wild hook from Loompa.
Simpson misses with a looping right.
Loompa avoids a kick to the body.
Loompa is looking to land body kicks.
A lazy left from Simpson finds it's target.
Loompa takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Loompa lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Loompa throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Simpson is looking to score with low kicks.
Loompa lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Loompa pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Loompa lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Simpson circles away quickly and effectively.
Loompa misses with an uppercut. Simpson saw that one coming.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Loompa keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Loompa misses with a lunging right hand
and Simpson counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Simpson misses with a right hand

The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
and Loompa counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Simpson is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Simpson is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Loompa working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.

Simpson manages to escape and get back to his feet.
Simpson smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Loompa tries to clinch there but Simpson circles away.
Simpson misses with a body kick.
Loompa will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Simpson thuds his right hand into Loompa's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Oompa Loompa will probably get the nod.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Simpson throws a solid leg kick but Loompa takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Simpson.
Oompa Loompa seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Simpson takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Simpson connects with a solid leg kick.
Loompa buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
A clash of legs there as Simpson blocks the low kick.
Simpson paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Simpson lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
A head kick misses from Loompa.
Loompa tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Simpson was well out of range. Poor timing from Loompa.
Loompa scores with a hook to the body. Simpson takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Simpson stuffs the takedown attempt from Loompa. Loompa gets slowly back to his feet.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Loompa displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Simpson throws out the jab.
Loompa changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Simpson misses with a low kick.
Simpson lands a jab.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Loompa moves in looking to clinch but Simpson pushes him off.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Simpson throws the kick towards the body but Loompa avoids it.
Loompa takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Simpson lands a nice leg kick that just misses Loompa's sensitive parts.
Simpson turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Homer Simpson is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Loompa scores with a leg kick.
A decent looking cross lands there for Simpson.
Simpson ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Simpson cracks Loompa with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Loompa buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Simpson with a nice cross.
Loompa looks to throw the jab but Simpson is out of range.
Simpson slips a straight right by Loompa.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Simpson lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Loompa has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Loompa and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Loompa has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Simpson.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Simpson swats away the attempt to clinch by Loompa.
Loompa throws a lazy body kick
and Simpson counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Simpson swings for the body but Loompa moves out of range.
Simpson has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
A jab from Simpson misses.
Simpson moves forwards but Loompa connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Homer Simpson seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Simpson moves forwards but Loompa connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Simpson checks a leg kick nicely.
Loompa misses with an attempted mid kick.
Simpson connects with a leg kick. Loompa looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Simpson stuffs the takedown.
Loompa moves in looking to clinch but Simpson pushes him off.
Simpson misses with a body shot.
Loompa is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Loompa ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Loompa bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Loompa pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Simpson misses with an uppercut.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Simpson is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Simpson connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Simpson on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Simpson connects with a body shot that sends Loompa's belly button to the back.
Loompa uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Simpson.
Loompa misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Simpson.
Simpson tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Loompa is looking to slow Simpson down with leg kicks.
Loompa throws a right and a left that Simpson avoids nicely.
Loompa tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Simpson was well out of range. Poor timing from Loompa.
The crowd cheers as Simpson lands an impressive looking overhand right. Loompa doesn't seem phased though.
Loompa throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Simpson sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Simpson ducks under a wild hook from Loompa.
Simpson throws a quick inside leg kick.
Simpson looks for the body kick but Loompa saw that one coming.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A big right from Loompa misses.
Simpson scores with a jab.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Loompa moves in looking to clinch but Simpson pushes him off.
Loompa takes a swing at Simpson's ribcage but misses.
Simpson takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Simpson throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Simpson throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Simpson blocks a head kick by Loompa.
Simpson lands a nice leg kick that just misses Loompa's sensitive parts.
Simpson misses with a body shot.
Simpson throws an overhand right that lands on Loompa's shoulder, as Loompa tries to avoid the shot.
A nice leg kick lands there from Loompa.
Simpson scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Loompa throws a front kick aimed at Simpson's knee but Simpson avoids it well.
Simpson jabs Loompa right on the nose. Loompa blinks but takes it well.
Loompa throws a head kick that misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Homer Simpson showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! And we move into the final round!

Loompa takes a swing at Simpson's ribcage but misses.
Loompa ducks under a wild hook from Simpson.
Simpson tries to work over Loompa's front leg with a kick but Loompa checks it.
Loompa scores with a leg kick.
Simpson throws a hook to the side of Loompa's head but Loompa sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.

Loompa moves into the clinch successfully.
Simpson blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Simpson is trying to push Loompa away but Loompa has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Loompa throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Simpsons head.
Simpson looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.

Simpson pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Loompa lands the left hand.
Loompa buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Loompa throws a hook but Simpson blocks it.
Loompa throws a body punch but Simpson moves out of range.
Simpson throws a half hearted mid kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Loompa staying out of range there.
Simpson moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Simpson takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
A swing and a miss from Simpson.

Loompa moves into the clinch successfully.

Simpson breaks the clinch.
Donk. Simpson catches Loompa right on the button with a cross.
Simpson avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
A slow jab from Simpson misses its intended target.
Simpson listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Simpson with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Loompa scores with a spinning back kick!
Good leg kick by Simpson there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Loompa staying out of range there.
Loompa slips a jab from Simpson.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Loompa dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Simpson. That did some damage!
Simpson swings for the body but Loompa moves out of range.
Loompa pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Loompa connects with a crisp jab.
Simpson swings widly with a right hand
and Loompa counters with a right hand to the body.
Simpson moves out of range of the strikes.
Simpson throws a leg kick but Loompa sees it coming and moves out of range.
Loompa misses with a low kick.
Loompa looks to land a right hand but Simpson moved out of range.
Simpson moves forwards but Loompa connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Loompa moves out of range of the strikes.
Simpson with a nice cross.
Loompa pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Simpson connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Simpson thumps Loompa with a low kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Loompa cracks a nice hook into Simpson's ribs.
Loompa throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Loompa misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Loompa comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Loompa fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Simpson is out of range.
Loompa clobbers Simpson with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Loompa misses with an uppercut.
Simpson gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Simpson works Loompa's body with a nice hook.
Simpson throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Loompa throws out a loose jab but Simpson uses good head movement to avoid it.
Simpson misses with a low kick as Loompa jumps back.
Simpson lands the left hand.
Loompa looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
A big left from Simpson misses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Loompa throws a body kick that misses.
Loompa lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Simpson scores with a nice right hand.
A slow jab from Simpson misses its intended target.
Simpson connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Loompa's hands.
Simpson tries a low kick but Loompa avoids it.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Simpson.
Simpson misses with a low kick.
Simpson on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Loompa. Loompa obviously looking to wear him down.
Simpson slips a jab from Loompa.
Loompa comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Simpson does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Simpson uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Loompa.
Loompa shoots in for a takedown but Simpson shows good takedown defense.
Simpson tries to score with a low kick but Loompa moves his leg out of the way.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Oompa Loompa.
I think Loompa has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Don Winkell scores the fight 29:28
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight 29:28
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by split decision... Oompa Loompa!
A very excited looking Oompa Loompa made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.