PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Edward Nygma (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Alfred E Neuman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Nygma comes to the ring accompanied by Eazy E - Boys In Da Hood. E Neuman has chosen The King of Swing as his entrance music. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Nygma
vs
E Neuman

225 cm
32
229 lbs
34 - 9 - 0

225 cm
28
291 lbs
17 - 6 - 1

World class boxer
Insanely flexible

World class MT
Granite chin

Milwaukee's Best 160 (85% laundry)
Master Lee's One Stop

HGH Nutrients Q160 Tycoons Best Quality supps
Kemists ↑ 5x160Q

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 34 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Edward Nygma!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 17 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Alfred E Neuman!
The judges for this bout are Radbod Blank, Daniel Blasius and Albert Achterberg.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
E Neuman lands a high kick!
Nygma bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
E Neuman rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
enabling Nygma to counter with a crisp jab.
Nygma swings for the body but E Neuman moves out of range.
E Neuman lands a body shot.
E Neuman paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Nygma throws a hook but E Neuman avoids it easily.
Nygma throws out a loose jab but E Neuman uses good head movement to avoid it.
E Neuman throws a poor cross that misses
and Nygma makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
E Neuman takes a swing at Nygma's ribcage but misses.
Nygma feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to E Neuman's calf.
Nygma throws a poor cross that misses
and E Neuman counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
E Neuman tries a head kick but it misses.
A head kick misses from E Neuman.
Nygma looks to land a body kick but E Neuman moved away.
Nygma chopping away at his opponent's legs.
E Neuman cracks Nygma with a right hand to the side of the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Nygma thuds his shin into the meat of E Neuman's side.
E Neuman with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Nygma to score with a decent uppercut.
Nygma blocks a jab.
E Neuman misses with a right hand
and Nygma counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Nygma is looking to score with low kicks.
E Neuman throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Nygma stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Nygma jabbing away but nothing is landing.
E Neuman throws out a loose jab but Nygma uses good head movement to avoid it.
Nygma checks a leg kick nicely.
Nygma scores with a body shot.
E Neuman thows a left - swing and a miss!

Nygma tries to keep at a distance but E Neuman has taken the fight into the clinch.
Nygma can't find room to land a body shot as E Neuman controls the action.
E Neuman looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Nygma gets through E Neuman's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Nygma scores with an uppercut up the middle.

Nygma breaks from the clinch.
Nygma waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract E Neuman.
E Neuman avoids the head kick by Nygma.
Nygma throws a leg kick
and E Neuman counters with a slapping leg kick.
E Neuman chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Nygma misses with a straight right.
E Neuman lands with a hook. Nygma tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Nygma throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and E Neuman counters with a straight right hand.
E Neuman misses with a body kick.
A solid body kick from E Neuman.
That kick from Nygma tenderised E Neuman's leg. E Neuman is trying to keep his angry face on.
E Neuman throws a lazy uppercut
and Nygma counters with a straight right hand.
Alfred E Neuman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
E Neuman misses with a jab to the body
and E Neuman takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
E Neuman pushing out the jab but it's not landing.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
E Neuman scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Nygma misses with a wild body shot.
Nygma fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but E Neuman is out of range.
E Neuman with a hook.
E Neuman on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Nygma throws a right hand that misses
and E Neuman counters with an inside leg kick.
Nygma tries to score with a low kick but E Neuman moves his leg out of the way.
E Neuman misses with a wild body shot.
E Neuman steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Nygma.
E Neuman steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Nygma.
Nygma scores with the left hand. E Neuman knows he should have avoided that one.
E Neuman lands with a kick to the temple. Nygma shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Nygma tries to work over E Neuman's front leg with a kick but E Neuman checks it.
E Neuman steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Nygma.
Nygma throws a hook to the side of E Neuman's head but E Neuman sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Good standup being displayed there by Nygma as he connects with a hook.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Nygma throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Good shot there by Nygma.
Nygma moves forwards but E Neuman connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Nygma scores with a hook.
E Neuman misses with a body shot.
Nygma takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Nygma throws a hook to the side of E Neuman's head but E Neuman sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Nygma walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. E Neuman checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
E Neuman with a jab.
E Neuman lands an overhand right.

Nygma is rocked!
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Nygma moves out of range as E Neuman strikes.
Oh Nygma is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Nygma throws a combination but it was largely blocked by E Neuman.
Nygma seems to have got his legs back now.
Nygma throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Edward Nygma will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Nygma moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Nygma lands with a straight right. E Neuman didn't see that one coming.
Nygma throws a big shot that misses.
A left lands for E Neuman.
Nygma checks a low kick from E Neuman.
E Neuman tries to clinch but Nygma is having none of it.
Nygma misses with a lunging right hand
and E Neuman counters with a straight right hand.
Left hook, right uppercut from E Neuman.
Nygma throws a head kick but E Neuman moves out of range.
Nygma pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces E Neuman back to the ropes. Nygma follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Nygma throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Good leg kick by Nygma there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Nygma crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from E Neuman - the referee stops the clock and Nygma gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says E Neuman. Nygma manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Nygma throws a chopping leg kick but E Neuman manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
E Neuman avoids a low kick by using good footwork.

That's one minute gone in the round.
E Neuman with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Nygma misses with an attempted mid kick.
A slow jab from Nygma misses its intended target.
Nygma pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Nygma waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract E Neuman.
The fight stays on the outside here - E Neuman looks like he's thinking about clinching though.

E Neuman looks low and kicks high, catching Nygma right on the side of the head, sending him crashing to the canvas! Will he be able to beat the count? 3,4,5 - he's already back to his feet and ready to go! Let's see if he's still with it!
Nygma throws a solid leg kick but E Neuman takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Nygma.
Nygma catches E Neuman with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
E Neuman checks the leg kick.
Alfred E Neuman seems to be getting the better of the standup.
E Neuman throws a body kick that misses.
Nygma fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
E Neuman tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
E Neuman closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
E Neuman misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Nygma.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Nygma checks a leg kick.
A big left from Nygma misses.
Nygma clobbers E Neuman with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Nygma misses the jab.
E Neuman scores with a nice body kick.
Nygma walks into a straight right hand from E Neuman.
Nygma throws a wild body kick that E Neuman sees coming a mile off.
E Neuman tries to close the distance and clinch but Nygma swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
E Neuman wants to clinch.
A low kick from Nygma is predictable there
and E Neuman finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
Nygma throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
E Neuman tries to clinch there but Nygma circles away.
Nice shot by Nygma.
Nygma misses with an uppercut.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Nygma takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Nygma throws a sloppy head kick and E Neuman moves out of range easily.
E Neuman lands a nice leg kick that just misses Nygma's sensitive parts.
E Neuman fakes the leg kick and cracks Nygma in the body.
E Neuman throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
E Neuman thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Nygma if he has to take too many more of those.
E Neuman lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Nygma will be looking to protect his midsection after taking some solid kicks to the body.
E Neuman connects with the punch.
Nygma walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Nygma really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Nygma keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Nygma throws a body shot but no joy.
Nygma takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
E Neuman tries to clinch up but Nygma circles away and keeps his distance.
E Neuman lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Nygma loads up on a big right hand but E Neuman slips the punch.
E Neuman throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.

E Neuman clinches with his opponent.
E Neuman stalling against the ropes.

E Neuman creates a bit of space and cracks Nygma with an uppercut that drops him to the canvas! Nygma is wobbled and seems to be struggling to get back to his feet. 3,4,5. He's up! Phew, his manager will be relieved but they're no doubt wondering whether he'll be able to recover properly and get back in the fight!
E Neuman steps in and throws a big head kick that drops Nygma to the mat! Nygma looks in trouble, can he beat the count? E Neuman is bouncing in a neutral corner joining in with the referee '4,5,6' they both chant. 7,8,9... he's not going to make it! 10! He's out! E Neuman jumps onto the ropes and takes in the acclaim from the crowd!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:33 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Head Kick). Alfred E Neuman! Alfred E Neuman retains his super heavyweight title!
Alfred E Neuman very nearly forgot to thank HGH Nutrients Q160 Tycoons Best Quality supps amongst all the excitement of his win but just as the interview came to a close, he screamed their name. Hopefully he'll get a few nice freebies in the mail as a thank you.
The defeated Edward Nygma had this to say: 'Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting pussy so mothafucka!! i fucking demand a rematch or else get me some pussy to fuck hard.'.