PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Heinz Doofenshmirtz (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Douglas Quaid (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). He arrived on a last minute flight shortly after looking tired and unhappy. Officials decided the fight should still take place, much to the delight of the fans in attendance.
Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Douglas Quaid. Chooooooooon! I think Doofenshmirtz might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Feuer Frei -by- Rammstein. Quaid comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Total Recall kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Doofenshmirtz
vs
Quaid

187 cm
29
231 lbs
19 - 13 - 0

186 cm
28
260 lbs
21 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Olympic wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Just Fight (Everything 8$)
Beaver Jooce!

Conquer
Hellbent

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 19 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Heinz Doofenshmirtz!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 21 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Douglas Quaid!
The judges for this bout are Dillan Fox, Elvis Blanc and Gregory Folan.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A looping hook to the body misses from Quaid. Doofenshmirtz does a little dance to reset his feet.
Doofenshmirtz slaps away a takedown attempt from Quaid, before circling back to the center of the mat.
Quaid has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Quaid keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Doofenshmirtz throws a hook but Quaid avoids it easily.
Doofenshmirtz uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Quaid.
Doofenshmirtz tries a head kick but it misses.
Quaid lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Doofenshmirtz tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Doofenshmirtz misses with a straight left.
Quaid blocks a jab.
Doofenshmirtz cracks the inside of Quaid's front leg.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Doofenshmirtz rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Quaid moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Quaid looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Quaid ducks under a wild hook from Doofenshmirtz.
Quaid cracks Doofenshmirtz with a right hand to the side of the head.
Quaid swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Quaid takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Doofenshmirtz moves out of range as Quaid strikes.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Doofenshmirtz throws a big shot that misses.
Quaid throws out a loose jab but Doofenshmirtz uses good head movement to avoid it.
Doofenshmirtz gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Quaid.
Quaid will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Doofenshmirtz was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Doofenshmirtz throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Quaid sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Quaid drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Doofenshmirtz defends it well.
Doofenshmirtz throws an overhand right that lands on Quaid's shoulder, as Quaid tries to avoid the shot.
Doofenshmirtz connects with a crisp jab.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Quaid on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Quaid ducks under a wild hook from Doofenshmirtz.
Doofenshmirtz cracks Quaid with a right hand to the side of the head.
Quaid avoids a kick to the body.
Quaid throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Quaid throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Doofenshmirtz uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Quaid.
Quaid dodges the punch combination from Doofenshmirtz.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A left lands for Doofenshmirtz.
Quaid just misses with a punch to the body.
Quaid throws a shot from downtown. Doofenshmirtz moves away and avoids it.
Quaid displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Doofenshmirtz throws out the jab.
Doofenshmirtz throws the left hand but Quaid avoids the punch easily.
Doofenshmirtz will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Quaid looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Quaid looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
The fighters circling - Doofenshmirtz throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Doofenshmirtz lands a lovely overhand right.
A jab from Doofenshmirtz misses.

Quaid manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Doofenshmirtz on his heels. He'll look to pass Doofenshmirtz's guard now, I'm sure.
Doofenshmirtz pulls Quaid in close to prevent any damage.
Quaid trying to control the position from guard on top but Doofenshmirtz is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Quaid throwing strikes from guard but Doofenshmirtz blocks nicely.
Quaid is looking to work some ground and pound but Doofenshmirtz has wrist control.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Quaid's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Quaid trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Doofenshmirtz throws a leg kick which misses Quaid's front leg but catches the back leg as Quaid tries to avoid it.
Doofenshmirtz takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Quaid throws the left hand but Doofenshmirtz avoids the punch easily.
Doofenshmirtz throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Doofenshmirtz avoids the body shot from Quaid.
Doofenshmirtz throws a leg kick
and Quaid counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Doofenshmirtz misses with a looping left.
Quaid lands a slapping body shot.
Doofenshmirtz scores with a crisp jab that stopped Quaid in his tracks.
Quaid throws out a loose jab but Doofenshmirtz uses good head movement to avoid it.
Doofenshmirtz tries a low kick but Quaid avoids it.
Doofenshmirtz fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Doofenshmirtz throws a hook to the side of Quaid's head but Quaid sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Doofenshmirtz uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Quaid.
Quaid throws a hook but Doofenshmirtz avoids it easily.
Doofenshmirtz misses with a looping right.
Doofenshmirtz lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Quaid blocks a jab.
Doofenshmirtz is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Heinz Doofenshmirtz will probably get the nod.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

A big left from Doofenshmirtz misses.
A good leg kick by Doofenshmirtz.
Doofenshmirtz throws a front kick aimed at Quaid's knee but Quaid avoids it well.
Quaid uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Doofenshmirtz.
Quaid lands with a hook. Doofenshmirtz tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Doofenshmirtz catches Quaid with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Doofenshmirtz closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Quaid throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Doofenshmirtz feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Quaid's calf.
Doofenshmirtz tries to work over Quaid's front leg with a kick but Quaid checks it.
Doofenshmirtz throws a leg kick
and Quaid counters with a nice body shot.
Quaid ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Doofenshmirtz fails in his attempt to clinch.
Quaid throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Quaid thuds his right hand into Doofenshmirtz's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Quaid misses with a looping right.
Quaid just misses with a punch to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Quaid ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Quaid tries to move into range but Doofenshmirtz moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Doofenshmirtz moves into range and connects with a jab.
Quaid with a body punch. A glancing blow.

Doofenshmirtz has managed to clinch.
Quaid goes for a takedown attempt but Doofenshmirtz pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Quaid checks a leg kick.
Doofenshmirtz throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
A shot to the body from Doofenshmirtz misses
letting Quaid counter with a right hand.
Quaid scores with a crisp jab that stopped Doofenshmirtz in his tracks.
Doofenshmirtz thows a left - swing and a miss!
Quaid scores with a punch to the head.
Quaid uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Doofenshmirtz.
Doofenshmirtz waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Quaid.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Quaid lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Doofenshmirtz lands a front kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Doofenshmirtz throws a leg kick that misses.
A big left from Quaid misses.
Doofenshmirtz swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Doofenshmirtz takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Doofenshmirtz tries to close the distance and clinch but Quaid swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Quaid feints the counter takedown.

Doofenshmirtz has Quaid up against the cage in a clinch.
Doofenshmirtz looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Doofenshmirtz wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Quaid has him pressed against the cage.
Doofenshmirtz lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Quaid scores with a nice hook to the head.
Quaid misses with a body punch.
Quaid wants to take the fight to the mat but Doofenshmirtz manages to get underhooks and keep the fight in the clinch.
Doofenshmirtz throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Quaid avoiding damage as Doofenshmirtz throws knees to the body.
Doofenshmirtz missing with knees to the body.
Our sources have told us that Doofenshmirtz has been working on his knees in the buildup to the fight.
Doofenshmirtz comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Doofenshmirtz lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Quaid misses with a hook from the clinch.
A frustrated look appears on Doofenshmirtz's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Doofenshmirtz creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Doofenshmirtz trying to land knees to the body.
Doofenshmirtz creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Quaid's defenses.
A hook to the body from Quaid.
Quaid blocks an elbow strike.
Quaid tries to throw a body punch but Doofenshmirtz avoids it by throwing Quaid back against the cage.
Quaid digs a right hand into Doofenshmirtz's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Doofenshmirtz's gas tank.
Doofenshmirtz struggles to land a body shot inside as Quaid controls his hands.
Doofenshmirtz throws a knee to the head but misses.
Quaid blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Come on Quaid - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
Quaid struggles to land a body shot inside as Doofenshmirtz controls his hands.
Quaid looking for a takedown.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Douglas Quaid.
Doofenshmirtz creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Quaid's defenses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Doofenshmirtz tries to land knees in the clinch but Quaid avoids the damage to the body.
Doofenshmirtz throws an elbow but it misses.
Doofenshmirtz creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Quaid's defenses.
Doofenshmirtz is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Quaid is defending well for now.
Doofenshmirtz throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Doofenshmirtz using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Quaid struggles to land a body shot inside as Doofenshmirtz controls his hands.
Doofenshmirtz lands a nice elbow.
Doofenshmirtz is defending well against a takedown attempt.
A short right from Doofenshmirtz on the inside.
Doofenshmirtz throws an elbow but it misses.
Doofenshmirtz pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Quaid can't get the takedown.
Doofenshmirtz can't find room to land a body shot as Quaid controls the action.
Doofenshmirtz tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Quaid avoids it.
Quaid avoiding damage as Doofenshmirtz throws knees to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz dominated that second round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Doofenshmirtz fails to land with a series of punches.
Doofenshmirtz pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Doofenshmirtz throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Doofenshmirtz with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Quaid checks the leg kick.
Quaid changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.
Doofenshmirtz lands with a slapping head kick.
Doofenshmirtz throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
And Quaid tries to counter it with a takedown but Doofenshmirtz pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Doofenshmirtz looks to land a body kick but Quaid moved away.
Quaid throws a looping overhand right but Doofenshmirtz ducks down to avoid it.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz is winning the standup battle so far.
Doofenshmirtz throws a sloppy head kick and Quaid moves out of range easily.
Doofenshmirtz misses with an uppercut
and Quaid counters with a straight right hand.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
No joy there for Doofenshmirtz, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
A looping hook to the body misses from Quaid. Doofenshmirtz does a little dance to reset his feet.
Doofenshmirtz appeared to be looking to counter that last move with a leg kick.
Doofenshmirtz throws a predictable looking body shot
and Quaid counters with a left to the body.
A telegraphed right hand from Quaid misses the target.
Doofenshmirtz will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A jab from Quaid does it's job there.
Doofenshmirtz misses with a few strikes there.
Doofenshmirtz is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Quaid can do to turn this around?
The fighters circling - Quaid throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Quaid showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Doofenshmirtz.
Quaid drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Doofenshmirtz defends it well.
Quaid scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.

Doofenshmirtz closes the distance and pushes Quaid back into the cage.
Doofenshmirtz is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Quaid is defending well for now.
Doofenshmirtz lands a right hand that snaps the head of Quaid backwards.
Quaid on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Doofenshmirtz misses with an elbow over the top.
Quaid is working for a takedown up against the cage. He can't get it on this occasion though.
Quaid can't get the takedown.
A right hand to the body from Doofenshmirtz.
Quaid takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Quaid blocks the elbow strike.
Douglas Quaid has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Doofenshmirtz just misses with a elbow thrown towards Quaid's brow.
Quaid avoiding damage.
Quaid managing to block the knees to the body from Doofenshmirtz.
Quaid avoids a wild elbow strike from Doofenshmirtz.
Quaid throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Doofenshmirtz lands a good knee to the midsection. Quaid won't want to take too many of those.
Doofenshmirtz misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Quaid.
Quaid tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Doofenshmirtz's elbow.
Quaid dodges an elbow strike from Doofenshmirtz.
Knees in the clinch landing for Doofenshmirtz.
Doofenshmirtz lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Knees to the body from Doofenshmirtz.
A knee to the head by Doofenshmirtz.
Doofenshmirtz lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Knees to the body from Doofenshmirtz.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Doofenshmirtz misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Quaid.
Quaid blocks the elbow strike.
Quaid lands with a light punch inside.
Quaid lands a shot to the body.

Doofenshmirtz breaks from the clinch.
Doofenshmirtz stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Doofenshmirtz throws a jab but it's blocked by Quaid.
Doofenshmirtz misses the shot to the body.
And Quaid tries to counter it with a takedown but Doofenshmirtz pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Doofenshmirtz has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Doofenshmirtz there as he acknowledges the shot.
Doofenshmirtz moves away from the strike by Quaid.
It looked like Doofenshmirtz wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Doofenshmirtz is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Quaid bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Quaid fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Doofenshmirtz missing with a left hand there. Quaid was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Doofenshmirtz keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Douglas Quaid.
Doofenshmirtz fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Quaid checks it well.
Doofenshmirtz throws a series of punches but Quaid moves out of range.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Doofenshmirtz with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Doofenshmirtz tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Quaid tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Doofenshmirtz misses with a wild body shot.
The fight stays on the outside here - Doofenshmirtz looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Doofenshmirtz misses with a body kick.
Doofenshmirtz lands a front kick.
Doofenshmirtz scores with a one two! Quaid had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.

Quaid shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches Doofenshmirtz napping and manages to drive through into side control!
Quaid throws an elbow but Doofenshmirtz slips to the side and avoids it well.

And that's the end of the fight!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Doofenshmirtz, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Dillan Fox scores the fight 30:27
Judge Elvis Blanc scores the fight 30:27
Judge Gregory Folan scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Heinz Doofenshmirtz!
Heinz Doofenshmirtz gave a mention to Just Fight (Everything 8$) in his post fight interview. That will please them (and hopefully generate some sales).
In defeat, Douglas Quaid stepped up to the mic, saying 'That one was from Santa!'.