PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Alfred E Neuman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Lorenzo Von Matterhorn (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). E Neuman comes to the ring accompanied by The King of Swing. The crowd seem to be enjoying Von Matterhorn's choice of entrance music: Sharp Dressed Man. Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!

E Neuman
vs
Von Matterhorn

225 cm
29
291 lbs
18 - 6 - 2

225 cm
42
287 lbs
40 - 13 - 2

World class boxer
Insanely flexible

World class MT
Good gas tank

Arcticus

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 6 - 2, fighting out of Amsterdam, Alfred E Neuman!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 40 - 13 - 2, fighting out of Sydney, Lorenzo Von Matterhorn!
The judges for this bout are Patrick Alders, Aafke Stam and Daniel Blasius.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
E Neuman drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
E Neuman definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
E Neuman tests Von Matterhorn's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Von Matterhorn throws a looping overhand right but E Neuman ducks down to avoid it.
E Neuman throws a jab but it's blocked by Von Matterhorn.
Von Matterhorn with a hook.
Von Matterhorn is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
A jab from E Neuman does it's job there.
E Neuman steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Von Matterhorn.
E Neuman feints and then cracks Von Matterhorn's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Von Matterhorn down.
Von Matterhorn scores with a nice strike.
Von Matterhorn thows a left - swing and a miss!
Von Matterhorn misses the shot to the body.
Von Matterhorn thuds his shin into the meat of E Neuman's side.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Von Matterhorn tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Von Matterhorn pivots, looking for a leg kick but E Neuman is out of range and Von Matterhorn settles back down.
Von Matterhorn walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
E Neuman stuns Von Matterhorn with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Von Matterhorn checks a leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
That kick from Von Matterhorn tenderised E Neuman's leg. E Neuman is trying to keep his angry face on.
E Neuman cracks Von Matterhorn with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
E Neuman throws a hook but Von Matterhorn blocks it.
E Neuman takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Von Matterhorn lands a nice looking kick to the body. E Neuman takes a step back to recover.
Von Matterhorn ducks down and throws a hook to the body but E Neuman moves away.
E Neuman throws a lazy uppercut
and Von Matterhorn counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
E Neuman misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Von Matterhorn scores with a jab to the jaw.

It looks like Alfred E Neuman has been cut.
E Neuman throws the kick towards the body but Von Matterhorn avoids it.
E Neuman defending well as Von Matterhorn loads up on a big left hand.
Von Matterhorn tries to land a front kick but E Neuman steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Von Matterhorn lands a glancing blow to the side of E Neuman's head.
Von Matterhorn walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. E Neuman checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A head kick misses from Von Matterhorn.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Von Matterhorn jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
E Neuman misses with a looping left.
Von Matterhorn tries to clinch up.
E Neuman tries to land a front kick but Von Matterhorn steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Alfred E Neuman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
E Neuman jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Von Matterhorn tries a head kick but it misses.
A shot to the liver by E Neuman. Beautiful body shot.
E Neuman misses with a hook. Von Matterhorn ducked under it nicely.
E Neuman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Von Matterhorn.
A countering left hand to the body from Von Matterhorn misses.
A solid body kick from Von Matterhorn.
E Neuman wants to land a leg kick but Von Matterhorn is out of range.
A solid leg kick lands there for Von Matterhorn.
Von Matterhorn has been working his punching technique in the buildup to the fight and it appears to be paying off.
Von Matterhorn avoids a kick to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
E Neuman throws a head kick that half lands.
E Neuman looks to land a right hand but Von Matterhorn moved out of range.
E Neuman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Von Matterhorn.
Von Matterhorn is stalking his opponent - BOOM! Switch kick out of nowhere! E Neuman is not moving; he is out cold!! Wow, what a quick finish that was.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:19 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Lorenzo Von Matterhorn!
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn is the new super heavyweight champion!
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.