PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Tony Lanes (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Joe The One Armed Man (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The One Armed Man comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Stand Up To be C**ted kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! I can't wait for this one - let's get the fighter introductions out of the way and get this one started!

Lanes
vs
The One Armed Man

189 cm
29
272 lbs
7 - 6 - 0

185 cm
33
240 lbs
27 - 18 - 0

Powerful takedowns
Dangerous knees
Very strong

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Powerful

V-Mask Clothing (10%)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Tony Lanes!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 27 - 18 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Joe The One Armed Man!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, Don Winkell and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

The One Armed Man instigates a clinch.
Lanes throws a punch but it's blocked by The One Armed Man.
Lanes looking to throw knees to the head but The One Armed Man is blocking nicely.
The One Armed Man lands with a light punch inside.
The One Armed Man lands a knee to the body.
The One Armed Man gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Nice elbow from The One Armed Man.
Lanes connects with a knee to the head.

Lanes pulls guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Lanes working a defensive guard here.
The One Armed Man makes a bit of distance and scores with some ground and pound, still in guard.
The One Armed Man working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Lanes's head.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
The One Armed Man distracts Lanes with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
The One Armed Man has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
The One Armed Man postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.

Lanes is looking for a triangle but The One Armed Man pushes his legs off easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Lanes is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and The One Armed Man defends well.
The One Armed Man distracts Lanes with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
The One Armed Man throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Lanes works some decent striking defense from the bottom.

Lanes throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.

Lanes looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
The One Armed Man is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
The One Armed Man looking to pass the guard.
The One Armed Man working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Lanes's head.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
The One Armed Man lands a couple of decent looking shots.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man showing good wrestling skills to control the position.
Lanes has momentary wrist control but The One Armed Man slips an elbow through the middle.
Lanes has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Lanes controls The One Armed Man momentarily but The One Armed Man frees himself.

Lanes working away from the bottom but not quite defensive enough there because The One Armed Man has passed into half guard!

Lanes looking for submissions off his back.
Lanes is looking for a sweep. The One Armed Man is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
The One Armed Man seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Nice strikes from The One Armed Man there.

Lanes is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but The One Armed Man pulls his head out easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lanes wants to get back to full guard.
Lanes wants to control but The One Armed Man is keeping busy and won't allow it.
The One Armed Man landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
The One Armed Man trying to control the pace.
The One Armed Man winds up and cracks Lanes with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
The One Armed Man controlling the action here.
The One Armed Man scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
Lanes is trying to defend against the ground and pound but The One Armed Man scores with a couple of nice shots.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man sitting and controlling from the half guard.
Lanes is trying to get back to full guard.
The One Armed Man working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.

Lanes looking for submissions off his back.
The One Armed Man working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
The One Armed Man wants to take a breather but Lanes is having none of it.
Lanes trying to control here.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Lanes tries to get to full guard but The One Armed Man has control of the leg.
The One Armed Man looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Lanes with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Joe The One Armed Man dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

The One Armed Man lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Lanes at a distance.
Lanes tries to clinch up.
The One Armed Man misses with a low kick.
The One Armed Man lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
The One Armed Man thumps Lanes with a low kick.
Lanes has a takedown stuffed.
Lanes wants to clinch.
Lanes misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
The One Armed Man cracks Lanes with a good jab.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
The One Armed Man swats away the attempt to clinch by Lanes.
The One Armed Man circles away from the clinch attempt.
The One Armed Man tests Lanes's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Lanes tries to clinch up.
Lanes tries to clinch but The One Armed Man moves out of range.
The One Armed Man has been the more effective fighter overall so far.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
A left lands for The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man is looking to land body kicks.
Lanes fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Tony Lanes. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Lanes tries to clinch there but The One Armed Man circles away.
Lanes tries to grapple but his opponent circles

and The One Armed Man counters with a nice double leg into half guard.

The One Armed Man moves into side control, avoiding a weak kimura attempt from Lanes.
The One Armed Man trying to control the position but Lanes is working away.
The One Armed Man lands a decent elbow from side control.
Lanes struggling a bit here.
The One Armed Man scoring with punches and elbows.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lanes is not content to let The One Armed Man control the position.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Lanes is looking to regain half guard here but The One Armed Man keeps moving and retains side control.
The One Armed Man wants to control but Lanes is keeping him busy.
The One Armed Man landing strikes.
The One Armed Man working the ground and pound.
The One Armed Man grinds an elbow into Lanes's temple.
The One Armed Man lands an elbow.
Lanes tries to bench press The One Armed Man off him but The One Armed Man keeps the position.
The One Armed Man scoring with punches and elbows.
The One Armed Man landing with strikes to the head and body from side control.
Lanes is looking to reverse the position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Check out the look on The One Armed Man's face as he threw that strike - that's one determined fighter!
Lanes is letting The One Armed Man control him for a moment.
The One Armed Man in side control lands a decent elbow.
Lanes sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Lanes on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Lanes has hold of The One Armed Man's hands but The One Armed Man slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
The One Armed Man not doing much here.
The One Armed Man working Lanes over with strikes.
Lanes is trying to maintain the position but The One Armed Man is very close to passing his half guard.
The One Armed Man lands strikes from half guard.
The One Armed Man lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man takes advantage of the dominant position to land a couple of big hammer fists.
The One Armed Man takes advantage of the dominant position to land a couple of big hammer fists.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with The One Armed Man in particular looking to stall.
The One Armed Man seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
The One Armed Man looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Lanes with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.
The One Armed Man looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.
Lanes wants to get back to full guard.
The One Armed Man is just sitting in half guard, waiting for something to happen.
Lanes trying to hold on to The One Armed Man's head to control him but The One Armed Man postures up.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Joe The One Armed Man showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Lanes wants to clinch.

The One Armed Man fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. Lanes sprawls well initially but The One Armed Man persists and gets the takedown into half guard.
Lanes is looking for a sweep. The One Armed Man is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
The One Armed Man is nestled in close to Lanes, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
The One Armed Man drops an elbow to the side of Lanes's head.
The One Armed Man looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.
Lanes is trying to control but can't.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
The One Armed Man is keeping good posture, landing some ground and pound.
The One Armed Man prevents Lanes from improving his position.
The One Armed Man trying to control from Lanes's half guard. Lanes has other ideas though and has regained full guard.
The One Armed Man landing with the ground and pound.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
The One Armed Man makes a bit of distance and scores with some ground and pound, still in guard.
The One Armed Man preventing the sweep.

Lanes looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
The One Armed Man working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Lanes's head.

Lanes looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
The One Armed Man is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
The One Armed Man trying to control but Lanes is working from the bottom.
The One Armed Man scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Joe The One Armed Man is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
The One Armed Man engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

Lanes looking for a guillotine here but The One Armed Man defends easily.
The step up in weight doesn't seem to be a problem for The One Armed Man. He's performing admirably here against the bigger man.
The One Armed Man controlling from the top position.
Tony Lanes has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

Lanes is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. The One Armed Man is aware though and is defending well.
The One Armed Man scores with a decent looking elbow strike.

Lanes is looking for a triangle but The One Armed Man pushes his legs off easily.
The One Armed Man not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
The fight stays on the outside here - Lanes looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
The One Armed Man cracks Lanes with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
The One Armed Man connects with an inside leg kick.
Lanes tries to close the distance and clinch up but The One Armed Man swats him away and circles back towards the center.

The One Armed Man rushes Lanes and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Lanes with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Lanes is trying to pull guard but The One Armed Man has him pressed against the cage.
Lanes tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and The One Armed Man avoids it.
The One Armed Man utilising his Muay Thai to score with a knee to the body.
The One Armed Man gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.

It looks like Tony Lanes has been cut.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lanes misses with a punch to the body.
Lanes can't find room to land a body shot as The One Armed Man controls the action.
Lanes fails to pull guard.
The One Armed Man comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Lanes tries to pull guard but The One Armed Man forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Tony Lanes. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Lanes tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
The One Armed Man works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Lanes tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Lanes throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but The One Armed Man blocks it with crossed arms.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Lanes is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables The One Armed Man to keep the fight standing.
Lanes lands a left hand that snaps the head of The One Armed Man backwards.
Lanes tries to land a knee to the head but The One Armed Man blocks with his arms.
The One Armed Man lands an elbow that stopped Lanes in his tracks for a moment.

And that's the end of the fight!
Joe The One Armed Man comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well The One Armed Man has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 26:30
Judge Don Winkell scores the fight 26:30
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 26:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Joe The One Armed Man!
Our winner, Joe The One Armed Man, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.
Tony Lanes spoke after the fight, saying 'I cant believe I lost to this bag of shit fuck your life '.