PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Dr John Zoidberg (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Henry Chinaski (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Henry Chinaski was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

John Zoidberg
vs
Chinaski

178 cm
33
185 lbs
13 - 10 - 0

185 cm
38
183 lbs
37 - 12 - 2

Great wrestler
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Heavy handed

AnonymouS
KAISER Nutrition (160!/220$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Dr John Zoidberg!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 37 - 12 - 2, fighting out of Helsinki, Henry Chinaski!
The judges for this bout are Frank Dennis, Chris Downing and Daniel Franklin.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Zoidberg misses with a hook. Chinaski ducked under it nicely.
Chinaski lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Chinaski lands an overhand right.
Chinaski doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Chinaski scores with a nice body kick.
Zoidberg throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Chinaski! But no joy.
Chinaski shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Chinaski pushes Zoidberg away with a front kick.
Chinaski dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Chinaski, right into the meat.
Chinaski swings for the body but Zoidberg moves out of range.
Zoidberg takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Chinaski scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Zoidberg slips a jab and a cross from Chinaski.
Zoidberg misses with a lunging right hand
and Chinaski counters with a left to the body.
Chinaski lands a front kick.
Chinaski blocks a low kick nicely.
Despite the aggression on Chinaski's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Chinaski moves out of range of the body kick from Zoidberg.
Chinaski looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Zoidberg scoring well with a low kick there.
Zoidberg throws a predictable looking body shot
and Chinaski counters with a nice body kick.
Chinaski connects with a leg kick. Zoidberg looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Zoidberg takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
The fighters circle momentarily. Zoidberg darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Chinaski has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Chinaski scores with a kick to the body.
Zoidberg takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Chinaski throws a hook to the side of Zoidberg's head but Zoidberg sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Chinaski lands a really nice looking cross but Zoidberg seems unphased.
Chinaski scores with a jab to the jaw.
Chinaski takes a body punch but keeps moving.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Chinaski misses with a series of wild punches.
Zoidberg throws a poor cross that misses
and Chinaski counters with a lovely straight right hand!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Chinaski connects with a leg kick. Zoidberg looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Chinaski punishes Zoidberg's body with a nice straight punch.
Zoidberg tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Chinaski was well out of range. Poor timing from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg lands with a nice body kick.
Zoidberg throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Chinaski misses with a body shot
and Zoidberg counters with a straight right hand.
An inside leg kick lands from Chinaski.
Chinaski tries to clinch but Zoidberg is having none of it.
Zoidberg throws a shot from downtown. Chinaski moves away and avoids it.
Zoidberg takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Zoidberg misses with a body shot.
Chinaski let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
Chinaski fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Chinaski is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Zoidberg rather than just go for the knockout.
Zoidberg ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Chinaski works Zoidberg's body with a nice hook.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg throws a lazy uppercut
and Chinaski counters with a thumping low kick.
Zoidberg looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
A looping hook to the body misses from Chinaski. Zoidberg does a little dance to reset his feet.
A swing and a miss from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg moves out of range of the body kick from Chinaski.
Zoidberg tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Chinaski was well out of range. Poor timing from Zoidberg.
Chinaski throws a low kick but Zoidberg moves out of range easily.
A counter left hand to the body from Zoidberg misses its target.
Zoidberg walks into a jab.
Zoidberg connects with a nice looking jab.
Zoidberg walks into a left hand.
Chinaski just misses with a punch to the body.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Chinaski, as that shot connected.
Chinaski lands with a cross.
Chinaski throws a hook but Zoidberg blocks it.
Chinaski slips a straight right by Zoidberg.
Chinaski turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Chinaski ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Zoidberg moves away.
Chinaski tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Zoidberg ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Chinaski looks to land a right hand but Zoidberg moved out of range.
Zoidberg chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Chinaski can pounce on him.
Zoidberg throws a body shot but no joy.
Chinaski fails in his attempt to clinch.
A quick step to the side and Zoidberg tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Chinaski has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Zoidberg dodges the punch combination from Chinaski.
Chinaski keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.

Zoidberg shoots in and gets a takedown into half guard. Zoidberg showed some decent athleticism there.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Chinaski is trying to control but can't.
Zoidberg thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Chinaski's head.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Henry Chinaski dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Zoidberg scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Chinaski thows a left - swing and a miss!
Zoidberg bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
A decent looking cross lands there for Chinaski.
A shot to the body from Zoidberg misses
and Chinaski counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Chinaski will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Chinaski throws a hook but Zoidberg blocks it.
A jab from Zoidberg finds it's way through Chinaski's defenses.
Chinaski throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Zoidberg displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Chinaski throws out the jab.
A quick step to the side and Zoidberg tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Chinaski lands a leg kick that knocks Zoidberg off balance momentarily.
Chinaski scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Zoidberg misses with a body shot.
Zoidberg misses with a hook.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A jab from Zoidberg does it's job there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Zoidberg is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Chinaski.
Zoidberg checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Nice body punch from Zoidberg.
No joy there for Chinaski, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Chinaski uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Zoidberg.
Zoidberg is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
A combination from Chinaski does no damage.
Henry Chinaski seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Chinaski slips under a jab.
Chinaski defending well as Zoidberg loads up on a big left hand.
Chinaski walks into a left hand.
Chinaski throws a nice looking combination but Zoidberg bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Zoidberg misses with an uppercut. Chinaski saw that one coming.
Chinaski is clearly trying to counter these attacks from Zoidberg with a body shot.
Chinaski throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Zoidberg stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Chinaski throws out a powerful jab.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Chinaski throws out a leg kick but Zoidberg moves out of range and Chinaski only half commits.
Zoidberg is looking to counter punch.
Zoidberg misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Chinaski blocks a low kick nicely.
Zoidberg connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Chinaski ducks under a wild hook from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg throws a jab but it's blocked by Chinaski.
Chinaski fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Zoidberg has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Chinaski pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Chinaski has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Nice shot lands for Zoidberg.
Chinaski throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Chinaski on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Zoidberg misses with a straight right.
Chinaski takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Zoidberg tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Chinaski was well out of range. Poor timing from Zoidberg.
Zoidberg displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Chinaski throws out the jab.
It looked like Zoidberg wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Chinaski throws out the jab.
Chinaski scores with a head kick.
Zoidberg connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Chinaski's hands.
Chinaski just misses with a punch to the body.
Zoidberg swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Chinaski takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Zoidberg throws a hook but Chinaski blocks it.
Chinaski throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Zoidberg moves away from the strike by Chinaski.
Chinaski tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Zoidberg is able to avoid easily.
Chinaski throws a head kick but Zoidberg moves out of range.

Zoidberg shoots in and scores a nice double leg takedown into half guard.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Chinaski is looking to control Zoidberg's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Chinaski avoid being mounted?

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Chinaski wants to improve his position but Zoidberg is controlling well.
Zoidberg seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Chinaski does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Zoidberg has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Chinaski is doing well to control the position and prevent Zoidberg from advancing to side control.
Zoidberg thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Chinaski's head.

Zoidberg is working for a kimura but Chinaski is defending it quite comfortably.
Zoidberg sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Chinaski defending well though.
Chinaski trying to control but Zoidberg postures up.
Chinaski blocking the ground and pound attempt from Zoidberg.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Dr John Zoidberg will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Chinaski staying out of range there.
Zoidberg throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Zoidberg tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Chinaski was well out of range. Poor timing from Zoidberg.
Chinaski looks to land a right hand but Zoidberg moved out of range.
Chinaski throws out a leg kick but Zoidberg moves out of range and Chinaski only half commits.
Chinaski feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Zoidberg's calf.
Chinaski is looking to score with low kicks.
A little feinted left hand from Zoidberg on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
A jab from Zoidberg misses.
Chinaski throws a big shot that misses.
Zoidberg keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Chinaski.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Zoidberg moves out of range of the strikes.
Zoidberg misses with an uppercut.
Zoidberg on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Zoidberg thows a left - swing and a miss!
Zoidberg swings and misses with a hook to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Zoidberg misses with a looping right.
Chinaski misses with a body shot
and Zoidberg counters with a straight right hand.
Chinaski takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Zoidberg looks to land a right hand but Chinaski moved out of range.
Chinaski throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Chinaski connects with an inside leg kick.
Chinaski looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Chinaski misses with a leg kick.
Chinaski misses with a looping left.
Zoidberg is looking to slow Chinaski down with leg kicks.
Chinaski loads up on a big right hand but Zoidberg slips the punch.
A telegraphed right hand from Chinaski misses the target.
Zoidberg tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Chinaski is able to avoid easily.
Chinaski appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Chinaski lands with a good body shot.
Zoidberg scores with a jab. Chinaski acknowledges it with a nod of the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zoidberg wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Nice defenses there by Zoidberg.
Zoidberg swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Chinaski punishes Zoidberg's body with a nice straight punch.
Zoidberg tests Chinaski's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Chinaski - that will leave a mark!
Nice cross by Chinaski.
Zoidberg fails with a takedown attempt.
Chinaski throws a hook but Zoidberg blocks it.
Chinaski throws a hook but Zoidberg avoids it easily.
Chinaski dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Zoidberg. That did some damage!
Chinaski slips under a jab.
Chinaski tries a quick counter leg kick but Zoidberg is wise to it.
Zoidberg will be looking to protect his midsection after taking some solid kicks to the body.
A bone on bone clash there as Zoidberg blocks the leg kick.
Zoidberg half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Chinaski keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
A leg kick checked by Zoidberg.
Chinaski misses the shot to the body.
A slow jab from Chinaski misses its intended target.
Henry Chinaski is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Zoidberg moves away from the strike by Chinaski.
Zoidberg shoots in looking for a takedown but Chinaski manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Zoidberg's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Zoidberg changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Chinaski takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Chinaski lands a nice looking body shot.
Chinaski takes a swing at Zoidberg's ribcage but misses.
Chinaski scores with a nice right hand.
Zoidberg's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Zoidberg duly obliges.
Chinaski misses with a leg kick.
Zoidberg's jab looks to have found its range, popping Chinaski under the eye.
Zoidberg misses with a wild body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Chinaski throws a nice outside leg kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Chinaski lands a jab to Zoidberg's midsection.
Chinaski uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Zoidberg.
Chinaski lunges at Zoidberg with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Zoidberg's hand.
Chinaski uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Zoidberg.
Zoidberg misses with a jab to the body
and Chinaski counters with a straight right hand.
Chinaski throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Chinaski throws a body punch but Zoidberg moves out of range.
Chinaski is looking to slow Zoidberg down with leg kicks.
Chinaski lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Chinaski connects with an inside leg kick.
Chinaski wants to clinch.

And that's the end of the fight!
Henry Chinaski comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Chinaski has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Frank Dennis scores the fight 28:29
Judge Chris Downing scores the fight 27:30
Judge Daniel Franklin scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Henry Chinaski!
A very excited looking Henry Chinaski made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.