PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartmen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Danny Darkside (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartmen's entrance music is Eric Cartman - Come Sail Away . A fine choice. I don't know about you partner, but I'm pumped for this one!

Cartmen
vs
Darkside

181 cm
22
210 lbs
8 - 4 - 0

186 cm
21
209 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Solid boxing
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Big Bear Nutrition 160Q
The Empire Clothing and Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 4 - 0, fighting out of New York, Eric Cartmen!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Danny Darkside!
The judges for this bout are John Roberts, Chad Campbell and John Kavanagh.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Darkside scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.

Cartmen gets caught napping as Darkside dives in and scores a takedown. Cartmen manages to retain guard.
Cartmen working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Darkside.
Darkside trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

Cartmen throws his legs up looking to secure a triangle. Oh, that looks pretty tight, I gotta say! Darkside escapes and throws Cartmen's legs to the side, diving into side control!
Darkside working away diligently from side control. Landing strikes effectively there - that will score him some points on the judges scorecards.
Cartmen takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
Darkside moving around in side mount but really he's just happy to control for now.
Darkside has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Darkside wants to control but Cartmen is keeping him busy.
Cartmen struggling a bit here.
Darkside lands a knee to the body and follows it up with some ground and pound to the head. That will wear Cartmen down.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartmen sneaks back into half guard.
Cartmen wants to get back to full guard.
Cartmen is not content to let Darkside control the position.
Cartmen trying to control from the bottom.
Darkside landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
Darkside content to control rather than advance.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Darkside passes to full mount!
Darkside landing strikes, looking to finish!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Darkside sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.
Darkside cracks Cartmen with a nasty head shot there - the crowd let out an audible gasp there, as the noise reverberated around the arena.
Darkside tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
Darkside scoring with some good ground and pound from mount here. Will he manage to finish Cartmen?
Cartmen has worked his way to half guard, taking advantage of Darkside's lack of action.

Cartmen looking for submissions off his back.
Darkside scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
Darkside working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartmen has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Darkside is working away from the top position though.
Darkside winds up and cracks Cartmen with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
Darkside lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
Darkside is thwarting Cartmen's attempts to control the position.
Cartmen trying to get back to full guard but Darkside takes advantage of the position and moves to full mount!
Darkside breaks from Cartmen's wrist control and lands an elbow.
Cartmen regains half guard.
Cartmen is trying to control but can't.
Cartmen is trying to defend against the ground and pound but Darkside scores with a couple of nice shots.
Cartmen is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Darkside's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Darkside's back!
Cartmen trying to secure his dominant position for a moment - making sure Darkside doesn't escape.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Darkside just trying to survive but Cartmen is wriggling into a better position, looking to finish.
Oooh a big shot gets through from Cartmen. Many more shots like that and the referee will have to think about stepping in!
Darkside can't escape the position.
Darkside controlling his opponent's hands, preventing the submission attempt.
Darkside tries to roll but Cartmen sticks to his back.
Darkside controlling Cartmen 's hands.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Darkside looks to control his opponent's hands but he's not mananging it at the moment.
Darkside wants to escape the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Danny Darkside dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Darkside explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Cartmen wants to clinch up but Darkside keeps it at a distance.
Darkside is looking to slow Cartmen down with leg kicks.
Darkside chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Darkside throws a nice inside leg kick.
Cartmen throws a push kick but Darkside slaps the foot to one side.
Cartmen scores with a leg kick.
Darkside keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Darkside fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Cartmen swings for the body but Darkside moves out of range.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Darkside is defended easily by Cartmen.
Cartmen throws a series of punches but Darkside avoids them all with ease.
Darkside throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Darkside dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Cartmen. That did some damage!
Cartmen pivots, looking for a leg kick but Darkside is out of range and Cartmen settles back down.
Cartmen throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Darkside tries a quick counter leg kick but Cartmen is wise to it.
Darkside throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Darkside connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
A low kick from Darkside is predictable there
and Cartmen counters with an inside leg kick.
Darkside pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Darkside misses with a leg kick
and Cartmen counters with a body kick.
Cartmen comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Cartmen moves out of range of the body kick.
Eric Cartmen is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Darkside throws a jab but it's blocked by Cartmen.
Danny Darkside seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Cartmen takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Darkside slips under a jab.
Cartmen goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartmen misses with a body kick.
Darkside feints the counter takedown.
Darkside throws a hook to the side of Cartmen's head but Cartmen sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A looping hook to the body misses from Darkside. Cartmen does a little dance to reset his feet.
Cartmen was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
That kick from Darkside tenderised Cartmen's leg. Cartmen is trying to keep his angry face on.

Cartmen pushes Darkside up against the cage in a clinch.
Darkside misses with some punches.
Darkside lands a body punch in the clinch.
Cartmen misses with an elbow strike.
Darkside lands with a light punch inside.

Darkside breaks from the clinch.
Darkside throws a lazy head kick
and Cartmen counters with a low kick, right behind Darkside 's knee.

Cartmen drives through and clinches with Darkside against the cage.
Cartmen works on Darkside's body with a couple of short punches.
Cartmen is trying to push Darkside away but Darkside has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Darkside lands a right hand that snaps the head of Cartmen backwards.
I was talking to Cartmen's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Cartmen.
Cartmen misses with a hook from the clinch.
Cartmen blocks a body shot from Darkside.
Cartmen throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Darkside blocks it with crossed arms.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Cartmen stops a takedown attempt from Darkside.
Darkside misses with a short punch on the inside.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Darkside.
Cartmen is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Darkside is defending well for now.
Darkside works on Cartmen's body with a couple of short punches.
A short uppercut from Darkside.
The referee calls for Darkside to work.
Darkside is struggling to control the position.
Darkside lands with a right to the head.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Darkside.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartmen stalling the fight.
Darkside struggles to land a body shot inside as Cartmen controls his hands.
Cartmen tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
A head punch on the inside from Darkside fails to land.
Cartmen leaning his opponent against the cage.

Darkside works for the underhooks and manages to get a trip takedown into guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Darkside postures up and scores with a shot to the body and a follow up elbow to the head.
Darkside stands up over Cartmen, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
Darkside passes Cartmen's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Darkside scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
The referee walks around the fighters to get a better view of the action. Darkside lands a nice short elbow.
Darkside winds up and cracks Cartmen with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
Darkside scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Danny Darkside showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's time! Back to the action! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Darkside throws a sloppy head kick and Cartmen moves out of range easily.
Darkside thumps Cartmen with a low kick.
Cartmen moves out of range of the body kick from Darkside.
Darkside throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Darkside connects with a leg kick. Cartmen looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Cartmen is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Darkside walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Cartmen checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Cartmen tries to clinch up.
Darkside flicks out a counter leg kick but Cartmen steps away.

Darkside closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Darkside misses with some punches.
Cartmen throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Darkside blocks it with crossed arms.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Darkside has moved round to his opponent's back and is looking for a suplex! Oh snap! He's tossed Cartmen clear over his head and slammed him to the mat!
I really don't envy Cartmen right now.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cartmen manages to reverse the position and now he's in Darkside's guard. Nice work there by Cartmen.
Cartmen has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
Cartmen missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Darkside wants to sweep but no luck.
Darkside keeping moving, preventing Cartmen from controlling successfully.
Cartmen preventing the sweep.
Darkside lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

Cartmen looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Darkside is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
Eric Cartmen has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Darkside stands up over Cartmen, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
Cartmen trying to keep a closed guard but Darkside is proving a slippery customer.
Cartmen is looking to sweep but instead, Darkside has passed into half guard.
Darkside is looking to take a break and control but Cartmen is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Darkside perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.
Darkside is nestled in close to Cartmen, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
Darkside is scoring with some nice ground and pound from the dominant position.
Darkside wants to free his trapped foot but Cartmen is holding on for dear life with his legs.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Darkside is thwarting Cartmen's attempts to control the position.
Cartmen is looking to improve his position.
Cartmen avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Darkside.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Cartmen checks a low kick from Darkside.
Cartmen swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Darkside moves out of range of the leg kick from Cartmen.
Cartmen blocks a leg kick.
Cartmen swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Darkside throws a head kick but Cartmen moves out of range.
A counter left hand to the body from Cartmen misses its target.
Darkside goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Darkside tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Darkside works Cartmen's body with a nice hook.

Darkside manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Cartmen on his heels. He'll look to pass Cartmen's guard now, I'm sure.
Darkside distracts Cartmen with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Danny Darkside has got the better of the ground game so far.

Cartmen looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Darkside working some strikes from top position.

Cartmen is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Darkside is aware though and is defending well.
Cartmen is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Darkside stands up over Cartmen, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
Darkside scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Darkside lands a couple of elbows.

And that's the end of the fight!
Danny Darkside comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Darkside has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge John Roberts scores the fight 27:30
Judge Chad Campbell scores the fight 27:30
Judge John Kavanagh scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Danny Darkside!
In his post fight interview, Danny Darkside started talking himself up. Luckily his charisma kept the crowd on side and gave him a good reception.
The defeated Eric Cartmen had this to say: 'screw you guys i'm going home'.