PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Lee Oswald (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Wooden Pencil (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Oswald comes to the cage accompanied by Lou Reed - The day John Kennedy Died. Pencil comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Full Retard kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Wooden Pencil has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Lee Oswald's chin.

Oswald
vs
Pencil

192 cm
31
202 lbs
10 - 4 - 0

185 cm
28
193 lbs
20 - 12 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Bad Man Clothing (Nothing Over $40)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Lee Oswald!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Wooden Pencil!
The judges for this bout are William Peck, Dillan Fox and Yves DeLean.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Pencil tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Nice jab there from Pencil.
Pencil throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Oswald sees it coming and avoids it easily.
A little feinted left hand from Oswald on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Oswald throws out a leg kick but Pencil moves out of range and Oswald only half commits.
Pencil avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Pencil pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Oswald bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Pencil's head backwards.

Pencil pushes Oswald up against the cage in a clinch.
Oswald goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Oswald just misses with a elbow thrown towards Pencil's brow.
Pencil avoids the elbow strike from Oswald, against the cage.
Oswald swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Oswald using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Pencil has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
A head punch on the inside from Pencil fails to land.
Oswald scores with a nice hook to the head.
Pencil blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Oswald goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Oswald wants to get back to striking at distance but Pencil won't allow it.
Oswald tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Pencil.
Pencil blocking some punches.
Oswald misses with a short punch on the inside.
Oswald misses with an elbow over the top.
Pencil throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Pencil with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Pencil blocks a body shot from Oswald.
Pencil landing some nice looking knees to the body.
Oswald's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Pencil blocks a body shot from Oswald.
A nice left hand lands by Pencil.
Oswald tries a knee to the head but Pencil blocks it.
A shot in the inside from Pencil.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Pencil just misses with a elbow thrown towards Oswald's brow.
Pencil throws a head punch that misses.
Pencil lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!

Oswald manages to break the clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Pencil lands a big head kick that sends Oswald tumbling to the mat! Pencil takes a step backwards and waves Oswald back to his feet - he wants the finish!

Oswald is rocked!
Oswald takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Oh Oswald is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Look low, kick high! Pencil uses the oldest trick in the book to send Oswald tumbling to the canvas, in a truly brutal knockout! Pencil is absolutely delighted - when Oswald wakes up, I doubt he'll be quite so happy!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:11 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Wooden Pencil!
After winning the bout, Wooden Pencil thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.
Lee Oswald spoke after the fight, saying 'I'm still standing here, so you apparently didn't accomplish your goal.'.