PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dick Glossy (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Funky Punch (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Glossy's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Wu-Tang Clan - Reunited. Punch is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Marky Mark and the Funky Punch - No Mercy. Funky Punch is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Glossy
vs
Punch

196 cm
31
205 lbs
20 - 10 - 0

190 cm
28
217 lbs
13 - 4 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Perkele!
Pearson Specter Litt

V-Mask Clothing (10%)
Modern Wear Apparel

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 20 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Dick Glossy!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Funky Punch!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, Frank Antenori and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Punch walks into a jab.
Glossy pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Glossy is looking to clinch.
Glossy has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Glossy throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Glossy throws out a powerful jab.
A leg kick checked by Glossy.
Punch is looking to score with low kicks.
An attempted straight right counter from Glossy misses the target.
Punch throws a body punch but Glossy moves out of range.
Punch takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
A solid body kick from Glossy.
Punch misses with a body shot.
Punch throws a leg kick
and Glossy counters with a straight right hand.
Punch throws a shot from downtown. Glossy moves away and avoids it.
Glossy throws a body kick that misses.
Glossy scores with a jab to the body.
Punch slips under a jab from Glossy.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Glossy.
Punch steps in looking to counter with the mid kick but it doesn't connect.
Punch throws a looping overhand right but Glossy ducks down to avoid it.
Glossy connects with a single shot there.
Punch has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Punch gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Glossy.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Punch lunges at Glossy with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Glossy's hand.

It looks like Dick Glossy has been cut.
A slapping leg kick lands for Punch.
Punch lands with a good body shot.
Glossy slips a jab from Punch.
An attempted straight right counter from Glossy misses the target.
Glossy moves out of range of the body kick.
Punch misses with a body shot.
Glossy slips under a jab.
Nice uppercut there from Punch.
Punch moves out of range of the strikes.
Glossy throws the left hand but Punch avoids the punch easily.
Punch follows through with a counter body kick but it doesn't land.
Glossy moves out of range of the strikes.
Glossy takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
Punch throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Glossy throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Punch pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Punch throws a hook but Glossy blocks it.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Glossy throws a body kick despite being completely out of range
and Glossy takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Punch misses with a low kick.
Glossy throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Glossy cracks Punch with an open hand slap.
Glossy moves out of range as Punch strikes.
Punch darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Glossy lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
Punch throws a hook but Glossy avoids it easily.
Glossy misses with a hook. Punch ducked under it nicely.
Punch throws a head kick that misses

and Glossy moves into the clinch.

Glossy manages to break the clinch.
Glossy throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Glossy throws a body punch but Punch moves out of range.
Glossy ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Punch throws a head kick that misses.
Punch steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Glossy.
Punch pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Glossy. Punch shrugs it off though.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Punch wants to clinch.
Glossy staying out of range there.
Punch walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Glossy tries to clinch there but Punch circles away.
Glossy looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Punch tries to counter with a clinch but Glossy shakes him off and moves away.
A lazy body kick from Glossy
enabling Punch to counter with a crisp jab.
Nice jab there from Punch.
Glossy lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
Glossy avoids the body shot from Punch.
Glossy is trying to close the distance and clinch up, after that failed offence from Punch.
Glossy lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Glossy lands a high kick!
Punch tries to clinch but Glossy moves out of range.
Glossy ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Punch moves away.
Punch ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Punch throws a quick inside leg kick.
A leg kick checked by Glossy.
Punch pivots, looking for a leg kick but Glossy is out of range and Punch settles back down.
Glossy swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Punch scores with a body shot.

Glossy takes the fight into the clinch.
A short right from Glossy on the inside.
Punch blocking some punches.
Glossy lands a shot to the body.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Glossy.
Punch lands a nice uppercut.
Glossy throws a head punch that misses.
Punch lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
A shot in the inside from Glossy.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Punch tries to throw a body punch but Glossy avoids it by throwing Punch back against the cage.
Glossy misses with a hook to the ribs.
Glossy lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Punch backwards.
Glossy presses Punch against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Dick Glossy will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Dick Glossy's cut.
That's time! Glossy's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Punch moves out of range of the strikes.
Punch ducks under a wild hook from Glossy.
Punch cracks Glossy with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Glossy connects with the punch.
Glossy lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Glossy looks to land a body kick but Punch moved away.
Punch throws a series of punches but Glossy moves out of range.
Punch throws a poor cross that misses
and Glossy counters with a lovely straight right hand!

Glossy moves into the clinch.
Glossy doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Glossy struggles to land a body shot inside as Punch controls his hands.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Punch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Punch working aggressively here.
With the fighters up against the cage, Punch throws an elbow but misses.
Glossy throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Punchs head.
Glossy fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Punch keeps control of Glossy as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Glossy doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Punch blocks an uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Glossy prevents Punch from breaking the clinch.
Punch digs a right hand into Glossy's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Glossy's gas tank.
Glossy misses with some punches.
Glossy stalling in the clinch but Punch improves position.
Glossy blocking some punches.
Glossy softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Punch.
Glossy scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Glossy tries to throw a body punch but Punch avoids it by throwing Glossy back against the cage.
Punch blocks an uppercut.
Punch lands a left hand that snaps the head of Glossy backwards.
Punch misses with some punches.
Punch lands on the inside with an uppercut.

Punch pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Punch walks into a left hand.
Punch keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Punch lands a big head kick that sends Glossy tumbling to the mat! Punch takes a step backwards and waves Glossy back to his feet - he wants the finish!

Glossy is rocked!
Glossy steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Punch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Glossy is looking to land body kicks.
Glossy misses the shot to the body.
And Punch responds with a good body kick, but Glossy manages to step out the way in time.
Glossy scores with a decent looking hook.
Punch misses with a hook. Glossy ducked under it nicely.
Punch on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Glossy. Glossy obviously looking to wear him down.
Glossy gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Punch counters with a low kick, right behind Glossy 's knee.
Punch throws a leg kick which misses Glossy's front leg but catches the back leg as Glossy tries to avoid it.
Glossy uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Punch.
Glossy shuffles to his left behind two crisp jabs. Punch eats them both and turns towards Glossy to reposition himself and eats a stinging right hand-left hook combo.
Glossy tries to land a front kick but Punch steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Glossy moves out of range as Punch strikes.
Punch connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Punch throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Punch avoids a kick to the body.
Punch looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Glossy slips a jab and a cross from Punch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Punch is looking to slow Glossy down with leg kicks.
Punch pivots, looking for a leg kick but Glossy is out of range and Punch settles back down.
Glossy has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Punch.
Glossy goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Punch tries to counter with a clinch but Glossy shakes him off and moves away.
A left lands for Glossy.
Glossy uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Punch.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Punch.
Punch fails with an attempt to clinch.
Glossy sizes up Punch with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Punch is looking to clinch.
Glossy throws an overhand right that lands on Punch's shoulder, as Punch tries to avoid the shot.
Glossy looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Punch needs to keep his hands up - Glossy had a free shot at his head there.
Punch thuds a left hand into Glossy's body.
Glossy digs a good body shot into Punch's ribs.
Glossy pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Glossy throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Glossy keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Glossy cracks Punch with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Punch throws a big shot that misses.
Punch darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Glossy takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Punch missing with a left hand there. Glossy was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Punch throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Glossy moves out of range of the body kick from Punch.
Nice jab there from Glossy.
Glossy takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Punch has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Glossy.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
An inside leg kick from Punch misses.
Funky Punch seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Glossy checks a leg kick.
Punch looks to land a left hand but Glossy moved out of range nicely.
Punch misses with a straight left.
It looked like Glossy was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Punch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Funky Punch will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The cut man is working on Dick Glossy's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!

Punch cracks Glossy with a right hand to the side of the head.
Glossy looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Punch lands with a shot to the body.
A big right from Punch misses.
Punch misses with an uppercut. Glossy saw that one coming.
Glossy tries to counter by clinching up but Punch breaks away and moves out of range.
Glossy throws a good cross that connects.
Glossy throws a leg kick which misses Punch's front leg but catches the back leg as Punch tries to avoid it.
Glossy scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Glossy blocks a low kick nicely.
Glossy slips a jab from Punch.
Glossy fails to land with a series of punches.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Punch throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Punch takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Glossy misses with a body kick.
Punch misses with an uppercut.
Glossy defending well as Punch loads up on a big left hand.
Punch jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Punch has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Punch throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Punch misses with a hook
and Glossy counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Punch misses with a body kick.
Glossy misses with a low kick.
A jab from Glossy finds it's way through Punch's defenses.
Glossy connects with a leg kick. Punch looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Glossy throws a sloppy head kick and Punch moves out of range easily.
Punch cracks Glossy with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Punch throws a body shot but no joy.
Glossy scores with a decent looking hook.
Punch just misses with a punch to the body.
Glossy thuds his shin into the meat of Punch's side.
Punch displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Glossy throws out the jab.
A decent looking cross lands there for Glossy.
Glossy with a jab.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Glossy takes one on the chin but seems OK.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Glossy wants to clinch up but Punch keeps it at a distance.

Punch lands a left and a right that send Glossy crashing to the mat, dazed. Punch thinks about following him to the mat but decides to wave him back up to his feet!
Oh Glossy is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Punch sees an opening and throws a straight punch right through Glossy's defenses. It connects perfectly with Glossy's jaw and knocks him out cold! Wow - that's a contender for knockout of the year - absolutely brutal!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:15 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Funky Punch!
Funky Punch decided to go for the less than humble approach in his post fight interview, telling everyone how he is going to conquer the world. The crowd seemed to like it when really that sort of approach could have gone either way.