PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Keiichi Yamada (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants comes to the cage accompanied by Deathly Quiet. Keiichi Yamada has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

PoopyPants
vs
Yamada

197 cm
33
222 lbs
26 - 13 - 0

170 cm
25
205 lbs
10 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Excellent grappler
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Modern Wear Apparel
GREEN!160

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 26 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, BitchFace PoopyPants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 7 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Keiichi Yamada!
The judges for this bout are James Atkins, Chris Edwards and Daniel Bishop.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
PoopyPants misses with a double jab

and Yamada counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Yamada looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Yamada trying to control the position from guard on top but PoopyPants is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

PoopyPants manages to escape and get back to his feet.
BitchFace PoopyPants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Yamada changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. PoopyPants tries to avoid it but Yamada manages to keep hold of a leg and drag PoopyPants to the ground. PoopyPants escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
PoopyPants rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Yamada moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
PoopyPants throws a body punch but Yamada moves out of range.
Yamada with the counter takedown but PoopyPants avoids it easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants connects with a body shot.

Yamada manages to get an easy takedown there - catching PoopyPants on his heels. He'll look to pass PoopyPants's guard now, I'm sure.
Yamada wants to pass the guard but PoopyPants is keeping the position.
Yamada pushes down on PoopyPants's leg and manages to get into half guard.
PoopyPants trying to hold on to Yamada's head to control him but Yamada postures up.
Yamada wants to pass the guard but PoopyPants is defending well.
Well, if Yamada is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Yamada is working for a kimura but PoopyPants is defending it quite comfortably.
Yamada trying to control from PoopyPants's half guard. PoopyPants has other ideas though and has regained full guard.
PoopyPants is looking to stand up but Yamada isn't so interested in that idea.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants can't keep his opponent in guard - Yamada advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Yamada trying to control the action but PoopyPants is working from the bottom.
Yamada is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.
We've had a lack of effective grappling in the last minute or so, which could well see a referee standup.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Yamada.
PoopyPants scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Yamada does a little dance to reset his feet.
Yamada closes the distance and clinches up with PoopyPants, looking for a takedown. Yamada pushes PoopyPants against the cage but PoopyPants circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
PoopyPants was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
PoopyPants throws a nice looking combination but Yamada bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Yamada does a little dance to reset his feet.
BitchFace PoopyPants is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Nice defenses there by Yamada.
Yamada showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from PoopyPants.
Yamada moves out of range of the strikes.
PoopyPants tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Yamada was well out of range. Poor timing from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants takes a swing at Yamada's ribcage but misses.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Yamada fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
PoopyPants throwing a counter right hand but Yamada manages to avoid it.
BitchFace PoopyPants has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Keiichi Yamada.
PoopyPants throws a body punch but Yamada moves out of range.
Yamada avoids the head kick by PoopyPants.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

PoopyPants throws a body punch but Yamada moves out of range.
Yamada drops down looking to force a counter takedown but PoopyPants defends it well.
PoopyPants connects with a body shot that sends Yamada's belly button to the back.

Yamada shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Yamada trying to control but PoopyPants is working from the bottom.
PoopyPants can't keep his opponent in guard - Yamada advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Yamada tries to pass the half guard into mount. PoopyPants knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Yamada trying to control from PoopyPants's half guard. PoopyPants has other ideas though and has regained full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Yamada slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
PoopyPants is looking to work his way out of this bad position but Yamada is controlling him well.
Yamada wants to control but PoopyPants is keeping him busy.

Yamada swings around for an armbar but PoopyPants sees it coming a mile off and turns beautifully into Yamada's guard.
PoopyPants seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Yamada throws his legs up looking for a submission but PoopyPants uses it to pass to side control.
Yamada has found himself in a tricky position here. He's been working his transitions in training so let's see if he can work his way out of it.
Yamada tries to improve position but can't.
Yamada manages to get back to half guard.
Yamada makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Yamada.
Yamada being controlled here, momentarily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants stopping the sweep attempt from Yamada.
Yamada is still trying to improve position.

Yamada had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. PoopyPants defends it easily.
PoopyPants controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
PoopyPants wants to stand but Yamada is controlling his posture from full guard.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Nice takedown defense from PoopyPants. No joy for Yamada on that attempt.
PoopyPants was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
PoopyPants looks to land a left hand but Yamada moved out of range nicely.
PoopyPants lands a nice hook to Yamada's body. Yamada takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
PoopyPants pulls out of a head kick attempt.
PoopyPants throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Yamada sees it coming and avoids it easily.
PoopyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Yamada with the counter takedown but PoopyPants avoids it easily.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Yamada.
PoopyPants throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Yamada looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
PoopyPants is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
BitchFace PoopyPants has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Keiichi Yamada.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Yamada fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Yamada blocks a jab.
PoopyPants throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants dominated that second round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. And we move into the final round!

Yamada with a lazy takedown attempt
and PoopyPants counters with a lovely shot to the body.

Yamada drives through with a really nice takedown into side control.

Yamada tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Yamada has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
Yamada wants to control but PoopyPants is keeping him busy.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
PoopyPants seems a little lost for a moment, as Yamada dominates the positioning.
PoopyPants tries to improve position but can't.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Yamada trying to control the position but PoopyPants is working away.
Yamada might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control PoopyPants haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
PoopyPants ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Yamada moves away.
PoopyPants stuffs the takedown.
PoopyPants comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Yamada takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
PoopyPants cracks Yamada with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
PoopyPants is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Yamada can do to turn this around?
Nice cross by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants throws a body punch but Yamada moves out of range.
PoopyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Yamada manages to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants misses the shot to the body.
Yamada shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
BitchFace PoopyPants has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Keiichi Yamada.
Yamada tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but PoopyPants defends well and Yamada ends up having to push PoopyPants into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
Yamada takes a body punch but keeps moving.
PoopyPants is looking to wear down Yamada with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
PoopyPants scores with a nice strike.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Yamada takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Yamada tries to move into range but PoopyPants moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Yamada slips under a jab from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut.
PoopyPants misses with a head kick.
PoopyPants is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Yamada has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Yamada there as he acknowledges the shot.
PoopyPants scores with a nice strike.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants looks to score with a jab to the body but Yamada is just out of range.
PoopyPants misses with a wild body shot.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Yamada does a little dance to reset his feet.
PoopyPants scores with a body shot.
PoopyPants scores with a nice head shot.
PoopyPants scores with a punch to the head.
Yamada walks into a jab.
PoopyPants lands a body shot.
PoopyPants throws a body shot but no joy.

Yamada looks for a takedown. He's got it. We're now in half guard.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
BitchFace PoopyPants is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Yamada wants to free his trapped foot but PoopyPants is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Yamada trying to control from PoopyPants's half guard. PoopyPants has other ideas though and has regained full guard.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Yamada forces his way into half guard.

Yamada is working for a submission of some sort.

PoopyPants is defending against the submission attempts here by Yamada.

And that's the end of the fight!
BitchFace PoopyPants showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for PoopyPants, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge James Atkins scores the fight 30:27
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 30:27
Judge Daniel Bishop scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... BitchFace PoopyPants!
After the big win, BitchFace PoopyPants made sure to do all the important stuff like thanking his sponsors GREEN!160 and telling the interviewer how much he loves him.