PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Evil Kullervo (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Bartholomew Roach (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kullervo kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Kullervo Entrance Theme. Roach has chosen The Simpsons Theme Song as his entrance music. Evil Kullervo has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Kullervo
vs
Roach

186 cm
27
207 lbs
15 - 3 - 0

191 cm
31
212 lbs
24 - 7 - 1

Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

BlackStar Athletics
Sun-Tzu

Pitt Nutrition 160Q@$199
Grand Champion Apparel

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Evil Kullervo!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 7 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Bartholomew Roach!
The judges for this bout are Donald Grub, Daniel Bishop and Andrew Berry.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Roach throws a shot from downtown. Kullervo moves away and avoids it.
Roach throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
A clash of legs there as Kullervo blocks the low kick.
Kullervo has been working on his boxing with his coaches at Gutz Gym in the buildup to the fight.
Kullervo tries a low kick but Roach avoids it.
Kullervo doesn't manage to clinch there - Roach circles away.
Kullervo misses with a straight left.
Roach has been working on his striking defense in training and it's paying off as Kullervo is landing a low percentage of strikes.
Kullervo scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Roach avoids the head kick by Kullervo.
Kullervo cracks Roach with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
A punch lands to the side of Kullervo 's head but he takes it in his stride.

It looks like Evil Kullervo has been cut.
Evil Kullervo seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kullervo scores with a jab to the jaw.

Kullervo takes the fight into the clinch.
Roach misses with some punches.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Kullervo.
Kullervo lands a nice uppercut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kullervo fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Roach swings wildly with an uppercut but Kullervo uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Nice body punch from Kullervo.
A right handed body shot lands from Kullervo.
Good body shot from Roach.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Roach.
Roach misses with a punch on the inside.
Kullervo cracks Roach with a nice body shot.
Roach gets through Kullervo's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Roach wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Roach takes a shot to the head.

Kullervo has managed to pull guard. Let's see whether he can work an aggressive guard. It will also be interesting to see what tactics Roach uses from the top position.

Kullervo looks to be working for a triangle here. Oh, it looks like he might have it! Roach has picked Kullervo up and slammed him! Kullervo can't keep hold of the triangle and Roach manages to pass to side control!
Kullervo tries to control the position but he's not in luck - Roach easily slips into full mount!
Roach controlling the position easily from mount.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Roach looking to control but Kullervo is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Roach controlling from the full mount.
Roach can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Kullervo is looking to escape.
Kullervo is wriggling around trying to escape.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Poor strikes thrown by Roach there. More accuracy and less frantic strikes would help!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kullervo working to try and regain half guard.
Roach controlling the pace for now.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Kullervo sneaks a leg under to get to half guard.

Kullervo looking for submissions off his back.
Kullervo is trying to control but Roach manages to pass to mount!
Roach lands an elbow that was bordering on illegal but the referee lets it go with a warning.
Kullervo tries to reverse the position but Roach maintains control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kullervo gets back to half guard.
Kullervo wants to improve his position but Roach is controlling well.

Kullervo looking for subs from the bottom but Roach mounts him!
Roach looking to control but Kullervo is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Kullervo tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Roach controlling his opponent.
Roach looking to control but Kullervo is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Roach controlling the position easily from mount.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Bartholomew Roach will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Evil Kullervo's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Kullervo tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Roach manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Kullervo misses with a hook.
Roach jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Kullervo lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Roach scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Kullervo throws a lazy right hand but Roach sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
A clash of legs there as Kullervo blocks the low kick.

Kullervo moves into range and clinches up with Roach.
Kullervo lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Roach backwards.
Roach lands a hook to the side of the head.
Roach avoids the elbow strike from Kullervo, against the cage.
Roach missing with knees to the body.
Kullervo lands an elbow that stopped Roach in his tracks for a moment.

It looks like Bartholomew Roach has been cut.
Kullervo fails to pull guard.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kullervo tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Roach lands a knee to the body.
Kullervo throws a punch but it's blocked by Roach.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Roach has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Roach takes a shot to the head.
Roach softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Kullervo.

Roach manages to break the clinch.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Kullervo lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Roach has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Roach and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Kullervo connects with a body shot.
Roach tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Kullervo was well out of range. Poor timing from Roach.
Kullervo pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Roach walks into a left hand.
Roach misses with an attempted mid kick.
Roach lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Roach.
Roach throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Roach throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kullervo blocks a leg kick.
Kullervo looks to score with a jab to the body but Roach is just out of range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A kick lands to the mid section there for Roach.
Kullervo tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Roach paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Roach misses with a body kick.
It looked like Kullervo was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Roach.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Kullervo.
Kullervo ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Kullervo fails in his attempt to clinch.
Kullervo uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Roach.
Kullervo tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Roach feints a counter leg kick.
Roach thumps Kullervo with a low kick.
Kullervo moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Roach throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Kullervo on the side of the head.
Kullervo throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Bartholomew Roach seems to be getting the better of the standup.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Kullervo.
Roach throws a nice inside leg kick.
Roach avoids the head kick by Kullervo.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kullervo checks a leg kick.
A jab from Kullervo misses.
Roach throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Kullervo sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Roach throws a nice inside leg kick.
Roach throws a nice looking combination but Kullervo bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
A counter left hand to the body from Kullervo misses its target.
Kullervo on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Kullervo will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Roach shapes to counter with a head kick.
Roach checks the leg kick.
Roach misses with a body shot
letting Kullervo counter with a right hand.
Roach thows a body kick. Kullervo tries to catch it but that hurt him.
Roach ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Kullervo moves away.
As Roach backs away, Kullervo returns fire with a leg kick that just misses.
Kullervo misses the jab.
The fighters circling - Kullervo throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Kullervo turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Kullervo on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Roach. Roach obviously looking to wear him down.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Roach misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Kullervo.

Kullervo decides to pull guard.
Roach wants to control from the top but Kullervo keeps moving.
Kullervo wants to sweep here but Roach controlling him for the moment.
Roach forces his way into half guard.
Kullervo is refusing to be controlled, as Roach sits in half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Kullervo is controlling Roach's trapped leg to prevent Roach from advancing to side control.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Bartholomew Roach will probably get the nod - 10:9.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Roach works Kullervo's body with a nice hook.
Kullervo tries to close the distance and clinch but Roach swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Roach drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Roach looks to land a left hand but Kullervo moved out of range nicely.
Kullervo smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Roach fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Kullervo has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Kullervo lands a nice shot that snaps Roach's head back.
Roach catches Kullervo with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Kullervo lands a jab to the head.

Roach is rocked!
A looping hook to the body misses from Kullervo. Roach does a little dance to reset his feet.
Nice uppercut lands for Roach. That snapped Kullervo's head back.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kullervo throws a looping overhand right but Roach ducks down to avoid it.

Kullervo bobbing and weaving well here. And he's unloaded with a massive right hand that drops Roach! He dives into his guard looking to finish!
Roach is still in real trouble! Can Kullervo finish him?
Kullervo forces his way into half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kullervo passes to side control.
Roach gets back to half guard.
Roach wants to control but Kullervo is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Roach seems to have recovered his senses.

Kullervo is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.

Kullervo seems to be working for a kimura but Roach defends the submission attempt.

Roach looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Roach gets back to full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Roach trying to keep a closed guard but Kullervo is proving a slippery customer.
Evil Kullervo has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

Roach working for a triangle but Kullervo defends it easily.
Bartholomew Roach is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Roach is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Kullervo is stalling in the full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Roach is trying to keep Kullervo in close.
Kullervo trying to control the position from guard on top but Roach is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Kullervo is pushing down on Roach's leg trying to pass to half guard. Roach is fighting to maintain full guard but Kullervo has managed to sneak the leg through.
Roach wants to control but Kullervo is keeping busy.
Kullervo seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Roach does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Roach takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Roach moves out of range of the leg kick from Kullervo.
Kullervo swings widly with a right hand
and Roach counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Roach on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Roach cracks Kullervo with an open hand slap.
Kullervo ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A slow jab from Roach misses its intended target.
Roach feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Kullervos jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Kullervo attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Kullervo throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Roach throws a head kick that Kullervo semi-blocks.
Roach moves out of range of the body kick from Kullervo.
Kullervo is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Roach.

And that's the end of the fight!
Evil Kullervo showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Roach has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 28:29
Judge Daniel Bishop scores the fight 28:29
Judge Andrew Berry scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Bartholomew Roach!
After winning the bout, Bartholomew Roach thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.