PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Hannibal Lecter Vlll (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Vanilla Ice (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Vanilla Ice was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Lecter Vlll
vs
Ice

175 cm
32
170 lbs
10 - 6 - 0

191 cm
25
170 lbs
2 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Decent wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Hannibal Lecter Vlll!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Vanilla Ice!
The judges for this bout are William Peck, Gregory Folan and Robert Douchet.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Ice checks the leg kick nicely there.
Ice displaying good standup as he scores with a three punch combination.
Lecter Vlll blocks the body kick.
Ice loads up on a big right hand but Lecter Vlll slips the punch.

Lecter Vlll clinches.
Ice is trying to break free.
Lecter Vlll goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Lecter Vlll keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Ice's efforts to push away.
A bit of stalling here from Lecter Vlll.
Ice tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Lecter Vlll's elbow.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lecter Vlll working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Lecter Vlll lands with a left to the head.
Ice tries to circle away but Lecter Vlll has him pinned against the cage.
Ice is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Lecter Vlll is defending well for now.
Lecter Vlll has Ice pressed against the cage, preventing Ice from circling away and getting back to striking at range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lecter Vlll lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Lecter Vlll fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Lecter Vlll lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Lecter Vlll misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Lecter Vlll has Ice pressed against the cage.
Lecter Vlll is pushing Ice up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Lecter Vlll taking a breather.
Ice tries to break the clinch but Lecter Vlll is controlling the position.
Ice wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Ice swings wildly with an uppercut but Lecter Vlll uses good head movement to avoid it.
Lecter Vlll lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Ice backwards.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lecter Vlll has Ice pressed against the cage, preventing Ice from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
A hook to the body from Lecter Vlll.

Ice breaks the clinch.
Ice misses with a two punch combination.
Lecter Vlll dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Ice pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Lecter Vlll back to the cage. Ice follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Ice jabs Lecter Vlll right on the nose. Lecter Vlll blinks but takes it well.
Lecter Vlll connects with a body shot that sends Ice's belly button to the back.
Ice throws a lazy uppercut
and Lecter Vlll counters with a nice body kick.
Lecter Vlll has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
Lecter Vlll throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
A countering left hand to the body from Ice misses.
Lecter Vlll staying out of range there.
Lecter Vlll thinks about countering with a body kick.
Ice looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Lecter Vlll looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.
Ice lands the left hand.
Vanilla Ice seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Lecter Vlll checks a leg kick.
A good leg kick by Lecter Vlll.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ice connects with a good right hand that stumbles Lecter Vlll. Lecter Vlll circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Ice misses with a wild body shot.
Lecter Vlll throws a counter high kick but Ice was just alert enough to avoid it.
Lecter Vlll scores with a jab.

It looks like Vanilla Ice has been cut.
A looping hook to the body misses from Ice. Lecter Vlll does a little dance to reset his feet.
Ice keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Ice cracks Lecter Vlll with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Lecter Vlll misses with a hook.
Ice misses with a leg kick
and Lecter Vlll counters with a two punch combo.

Ice is rocked!
A good leg kick by Lecter Vlll.
Ice is still on wobbly legs! Can Lecter Vlll finish him?
Lecter Vlll flashes Ice a smile before throwing a beast of a right hand, straight down the pipe. Ice's eyes follow the hand right onto his nose, taking in it's full glory... and then darkness. Ice crumples to the floor! He's out cold! Lecter Vlll punches the air and yells at the top of his lungs - yeeeeeeeeeeah!!!! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:39 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Hannibal Lecter Vlll!
A relieved looking Hannibal Lecter Vlll thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.