PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Kalle Kortelainen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Barbie Bloonkers (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Barbie Bloonkers will no doubt be looking to use his reach advantage to good effect.

Kortelainen
vs
Bloonkers

180 cm
23
240 lbs
6 - 1 - 0

207 cm
29
270 lbs
6 - 5 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
Great low kicks
Very quick

Good wrestler
Good kicks
Good gas tank

Sun-Tzu

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Kalle Kortelainen!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Barbie Bloonkers!
The judges for this bout are Albert Achterberg, Radbod Blank and Daniel Blasius.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bloonkers misses with a leg kick.
Kortelainen misses with a body kick.
Bloonkers jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Bloonkers rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
enabling Kortelainen to counter with a crisp jab.
Bloonkers throws a head kick that half lands.
Kortelainen moves out of range as Bloonkers strikes.
Kortelainen scores with a jab to the body.
Bloonkers rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Kortelainen finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
Bloonkers throws a hook but Kortelainen blocks it.
Kortelainen looks to score with a jab to the body but Bloonkers is just out of range.
Bloonkers throws a shot from downtown. Kortelainen moves away and avoids it.
Bloonkers is looking to chop away at Kortelainen's legs.
Kortelainen throws a wild body kick that Bloonkers sees coming a mile off.
Bloonkers only half commits to the counter leg kick.
Bloonkers throws a jab but it's blocked by Kortelainen.
Bloonkers throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kortelainen jabs Bloonkers right on the nose. Bloonkers blinks but takes it well.
Kortelainen misses with a head kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bloonkers throws a head kick that misses.
Barbie Bloonkers seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Bloonkers moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Bloonkers keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Kortelainen.
A slow jab from Bloonkers misses its intended target.
Bloonkers throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Kortelainen throws a hook to the side of Bloonkers's head but Bloonkers sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Bloonkers lands a head kick. Kortelainen smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Kortelainen tries to land a front kick but Bloonkers steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Kortelainen connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Bloonkers feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Kortelainen's calf.
Kortelainen throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Bloonkers misses with a kick to the body.
Kortelainen is looking to land body kicks.
Bloonkers throws a looping overhand right but Kortelainen ducks down to avoid it.
Both fighters circling a little - Bloonkers finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A head kick misses from Kortelainen.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bloonkers throws out a leg kick but Kortelainen moves out of range and Bloonkers only half commits.
Bloonkers just misses with a punch to the body.
Bloonkers throws a hook but Kortelainen avoids it easily.
Kortelainen scores with a leg kick.
A decent looking cross lands there for Bloonkers.
Bloonkers misses with a jab, cross combination.
Kortelainen jabs Bloonkers right on the nose. Bloonkers blinks but takes it well.
Kortelainen scores with a nice strike.
A swing and a miss from Kortelainen.
Kortelainen is looking to score with low kicks.
Bloonkers is looking to score with low kicks.
Kortelainen looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Kortelainen avoids the head kick by Bloonkers.
Kortelainen lands a jab to the nose.
Kortelainen looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Kortelainen throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kortelainen pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Bloonkers throws a body shot but no joy.
Kortelainen is looking to counter punch.
Kortelainen blocks a head kick by Bloonkers.
Kortelainen throws a head kick that misses.
Bloonkers looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Bloonkers slips under a jab from Kortelainen.
Bloonkers connects with a nice looking jab.
Kortelainen chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Kortelainen tries to land a front kick but Bloonkers steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Bloonkers bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Kortelainen's head.
Bloonkers throws a head kick that misses.
Kortelainen looks for the body kick but Bloonkers saw that one coming.
Good leg kick by Kortelainen there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Kortelainen takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Bloonkers throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Kortelainen is breathing heavily.
Bloonkers misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Bloonkers fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Kortelainen is out of range.
Kortelainen avoids the body shot from Bloonkers.
Bloonkers throws a half hearted mid kick.
Kortelainen swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Kortelainen moves out of range of the body kick from Bloonkers.
Kortelainen is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Bloonkers misses with an uppercut.
Some wild striking there from Bloonkers.
A lazy left from Bloonkers finds it's target.
Kortelainen takes a push kick to the midsection and stumbles backwards.
Kortelainen feints and then cracks Bloonkers's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Bloonkers down.
Bloonkers pulls out of a head kick attempt.
A swing and a miss from Bloonkers.
Bloonkers throws a head kick that misses
and Kortelainen counters with a body kick that stops Bloonkers in his tracks momentarily.
Bloonkers has tried to improve his agility in the runup to this fight.
Kortelainen thuds his right hand into Bloonkers's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Barbie Bloonkers dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Bloonkers bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Bloonkers looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Kortelainen slips under a jab.
Kortelainen throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bloonkers sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Barbie Bloonkers seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Kortelainen looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Kortelainen avoids the head kick by Bloonkers.
Bloonkers looks to land a body kick but Kortelainen moved away.
Bloonkers looks for the body kick but Kortelainen saw that one coming.
Bloonkers throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Kortelainen looks to land a body kick but Bloonkers moved away.
Bloonkers swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Bloonkers throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Kortelainen is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bloonkers is looking to land body kicks.
A left lands for Kortelainen.
Nice uppercut lands for Bloonkers. That snapped Kortelainen's head back.
Kortelainen keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Bloonkers jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kortelainen looks to score with a jab to the body but Bloonkers is just out of range.
Bloonkers only half commits to the counter leg kick.
Crunch! Bloonkers slams his shin into Kortelainen's torso.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Kortelainen misses with a kick to the body.
This entire fight has taken place on the feet so far and you wonder whether Kortelainen might be better served trying to take this one to the ground because he's losing the standup battle so far.
A head kick misses from Bloonkers.
Kortelainen connects with a leg kick. Bloonkers looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.

Bloonkers cracks Kortelainen with a big right hand and Kortelainen goes down!

Kortelainen is rocked!
Bloonkers has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Kortelainen is proving hard to escape from.
Oh Kortelainen is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!
Bloonkers slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Kortelainen seems to have got his legs back now.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Kortelainen looking for a sweep. Not yet Kortelainen, not yet.
Kortelainen being controlled here, momentarily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bloonkers is continuing to stall.

Kortelainen is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Bloonkers is aware though and is defending well.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

Kortelainen looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Bloonkers passes into half guard.
Kortelainen is trying to control but can't.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kortelainen wants to improve his position but Bloonkers is controlling well.
Kortelainen regains full guard. Nicely done.

Bloonkers wants to stand up, so he's looking to wriggle free of Kortelainen's closed guard. He's half up but Kortelainen has locked on to an arm! Uh oh! Kortelainen pivots and extends the arm, Bloonkers falls face first to the mat and taps??... does he?? YES! He's tapping! Excellent counter grappling there by Kortelainen! Well done that man!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:54 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Kalle Kortelainen!
Kalle Kortelainen retains his super heavyweight title!
A victorious Kalle Kortelainen thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.
The defeated Barbie Bloonkers had this to say: 'I'm gay.'.