PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between No For Gay Jesus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kenny Brandon (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jesus kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Havana. Brandon has chosen Catch Em By Surprise as his entrance music. There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

For Gay Jesus
vs
Brandon

183 cm
26
170 lbs
8 - 2 - 0

170 cm
28
164 lbs
9 - 14 - 0

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Hellbent
Bullet Proof System

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the lightweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, No For Gay Jesus!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Kenny Brandon!
The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, Timothy Bukovac and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Brandon moves into the clinch successfully.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Brandon.
Brandon's coach down at Death Valley Training Facility was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on Brandon's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
Jesus lands a right hand that snaps the head of Brandon backwards.
Jesus misses with a short punch on the inside.
Brandon misses with the head strike.
Brandon fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Jesus blocks a punch to the side of the head.

Jesus breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
A jab from Jesus misses.
Brandon misses with a right hand
and Jesus counters with a leg kick.
Jesus misses with a double jab.

Jesus has Brandon up against the cage in a clinch.
Jesus scores with a shot to the side of Brandon's head.
Jesus blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Jesus throws a head punch that misses.
Brandon working aggressively here.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Brandon.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Jesus takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
Jesus working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Jesus gets through Brandon's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Jesus blocks an uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A right hook to the body lands for Jesus.
Jesus blocks an uppercut.
Jesus misses with a punch on the inside.
Brandon misses with a short punch on the inside.
Still in the clinch, Jesus scores with a nice short uppercut.
Jesus misses with the head strike.
Brandon misses with the head strike.
A short uppercut from Brandon.
Jesus effectively controlling the action here.
Jesus makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Jesus takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
Brandon misses with a punch on the inside.
Nice body punch from Jesus.
Jesus swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Brandon lands a shoulder strike.
Jesus blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Jesus fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Brandon blocking some punches.
Still in the clinch, Brandon scores with a nice short uppercut.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A quick uppercut on the inside from Jesus.
Brandon swings wildly with an uppercut but Jesus uses good head movement to avoid it.
Jesus stalling in the clinch.
A short right from Jesus.
A right handed body shot lands from Jesus.
Brandon has a couple of punches blocked by Jesus.
Jesus can't find room to land a body shot as Brandon controls the action.
Jesus misses with a punch on the inside.
Jesus stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Brandon blocks a punch to the side of the head.
A nice right hand lands inside from Jesus.
Jesus blocking some punches.
Jesus lands a right hand.
Brandon throws a punch but it's blocked by Jesus.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Jesus.

Brandon is rocked!
Brandon throws a punch but it's blocked by Jesus.

Jesus pulls guard.
Jesus is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Brandon with a flurry of punches that miss.
Brandon is looking to work some ground and pound but Jesus has wrist control.
Brandon must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Jesus looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Brandon postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Brandon postures up in Jesus's guard and throws a big left but Jesus blocks it.
Jesus preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Jesus has control of Brandon's left arm, preventing Brandon from doing any damage.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Jesus throws a body shot but no joy.
Brandon walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Jesus checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Jesus thows a left - swing and a miss!

Brandon bobs and weaves into range and then changes levels and scores with a nice takedown into side control.
Jesus stuck in half guard on the bottom here.
Brandon misses with a strike but at least he's keeping busy, looking to cause some damage - that will still help him when it comes to the judges scorecards.
Brandon scores with punches from side control.
Brandon lands a nice forearm strike.
Brandon cracks Jesus with a big elbow.
Jesus tries to improve position but can't.
Jesus is working hard here to advance position.
Jesus struggling a bit here.
Jesus keeping his opponent close.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

No For Gay Jesus dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Brandon moves to clinch but Jesus breaks away
and Jesus counters with a good low kick that Brandon was not able to check.
Brandon shoots for a takedown but Jesus saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
It appears Jesus was looking to counter with a kick there.
Brandon lands a head kick. Jesus smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Jesus takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Kenny Brandon is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Brandon tries to clinch up.
A telegraphed right hand from Brandon misses the target.
A little feinted left hand from Jesus on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.

Jesus feints and as Brandon raises his hands in defense, Jesus changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.
Jesus is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Brandon is trying to control the position but Jesus postures up.
Jesus wants to control from the top but Brandon keeps moving.
We must be close to a standup if these guys don't pick up the pace.
Jesus will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Jesus slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
Jesus looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Brandon misses with a wild combination.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Jesus throws an overhand right that lands on Brandon's shoulder, as Brandon tries to avoid the shot.
Brandon swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Brandon connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.

Brandon manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Jesus on his heels. He'll look to pass Jesus's guard now, I'm sure.
Jesus controls Brandon momentarily but Brandon frees himself.
Jesus looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Brandon is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Jesus preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Brandon is looking to work some ground and pound but Jesus has wrist control.
Brandon postures up.
Brandon is in close to Jesus's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Jesus is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Jesus lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jesus wants to pass the guard but Brandon is keeping the position.
Brandon wants to stand and escape but Jesus is having none of it.
Brandon is trying to control the position but Jesus postures up.
Jesus seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Jesus won't allow Brandon to sweep him here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Jesus slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
Jesus avoids a punch combination nicely.
Jesus tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Brandon was well out of range. Poor timing from Jesus.
Brandon flicks out a counter leg kick but Jesus steps away.
Jesus throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Jesus lands a nice shot that snaps Brandon's head back.
Brandon on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Jesus fakes the leg kick and cracks Brandon in the body.
Jesus connects with a body shot.
Jesus swats away the attempt to clinch by Brandon.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Brandon rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Jesus moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Jesus swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Brandon lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
Jesus avoids a punch combination nicely.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that No For Gay Jesus will probably get the nod.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Brandon works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Brandon walks into a left hand.
Jesus looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Brandon moves out of range of the strikes.
A slapping leg kick lands for Brandon.
Brandon staying out of range there.
Brandon looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Jesus looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Brandon replies with a solid counter kick to the body but Jesus blocks it well.

Jesus has Brandon up against the cage in a clinch.
Jesus blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Jesus tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Brandon just stands there and leans against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Brandon takes a shot to the head.
A shot in the inside from Brandon.
Jesus blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Brandon tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Brandon misses with a punch on the inside.
Jesus's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!

Jesus breaks from the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Brandon lands a nice leg kick that just misses Jesus's sensitive parts.
Jesus avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Jesus is looking to slow Brandon down with leg kicks.
Brandon lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Brandon takes a push kick to the midsection and stumbles backwards.
Some bone on bone action there as Brandon checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Jesus with a nice cross.
Jesus misses with a wild combination.
Jesus connects with a nice looking jab.

Brandon shoots in from a long way out. He's driving through with the takedown attempt and he eventually gets it, landing in Jesus's guard.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Brandon lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
Jesus is adopting a defensive guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jesus continues to stall.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Jesus is on top in guard.

Brandon working a defensive guard here.
Brandon keeping moving, preventing Jesus from controlling successfully.
Jesus pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Brandon is keeping the position for now.
Brandon working a defensive guard here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jesus controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Jesus postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Jesus content to stall in guard here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Jesus won't allow Brandon to sweep him here.
Jesus slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Jesus trying to control the position but Brandon is working away.
Jesus controls the position.
Jesus trying to control the action but Brandon is working from the bottom.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.

Brandon closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Jesus's guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Jesus trying to control the position here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but No For Gay Jesus did the better work so I'd imagine he'll take it.
That's time! Jesus's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Brandon throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
A jab from Brandon does it's job there.
An inside leg kick lands from Jesus.
Brandon swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Jesus pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Jesus bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Jesus throws a low kick, looking for Brandon's leg but Brandon calmly moves out of range.
Brandon throws a front kick aimed at Jesus's knee but Jesus avoids it well.
Brandon lands a glancing blow to the side of Jesus's head.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Brandon's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Brandon duly obliges.
Brandon avoids the head kick by Jesus.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Jesus, right into the meat.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Brandon lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Jesus circles away quickly and effectively.
Brandon chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Jesus can pounce on him.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Brandon lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Nice shot lands for Brandon.
Brandon swinging wildly here.
Jesus connects with a solid leg kick.

Jesus looking to score a takedown here. Brandon is defending well but Jesus drives through and ends up in Brandon's guard.
Jesus stopping the sweep attempt from Brandon.
Brandon seems keen to control rather than go for a submission, at least for now.
Jesus with a nice head shot there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jesus in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Brandon is trying to control the position but Jesus postures up.
Brandon being controlled here, momentarily.
The referee wants the fighters to be more active or he's going to reset them on the feet.
Jesus has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Jesus throws a right and a left that Brandon avoids nicely.
Jesus walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Brandon bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Jesus's head.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Brandon connects with a leg kick. Jesus looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jesus dodges the punch combination from Brandon.
Kenny Brandon seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Jesus uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Brandon.
Brandon throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Brandon throws a sloppy head kick
and Jesus makes the exchange count by landing a cracking kick to the body. Brandon really felt that one!
Brandon is absolutely dripping with sweat - he looks exhausted.
Jesus lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
Brandon is still on wobbly legs! Can Jesus finish him?
Jesus lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Jesus uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Brandon.
Brandon misses with a combination
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Brandon throws a half hearted mid kick.
Jesus quickly followed up with a counter body kick but doesn't connect.
Jesus ducks under a wild hook from Brandon.
Brandon will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Jesus swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jesus fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Brandon is out of range.
Brandon seems to have recovered his senses.
Jesus throws a powerful right kick. Brandon tried to block low but the kick was high! Brandon was taken right off of his feet! Jesus jumps in to finish the job and the ref tackles him! The fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:11 of round 4, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). No For Gay Jesus!
No For Gay Jesus retains his lightweight title!
A very excited looking No For Gay Jesus made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.