PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Theodore Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Ogre Treestump (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Theodore Thundercunt is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Thundercunt
vs
Treestump

194 cm
25
245 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

189 cm
25
265 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

Decent wrestler
Solid boxing
KO power

BJJ Brown Belt
Brawler
Solid chin

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Theodore Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Ogre Treestump!
The judges for this bout are Michael Johnstone, David Hoff and Dirk Anderson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Treestump tries for a takedown but Thundercunt circles away easily

and Thundercunt moves into the clinch.
Thundercunt struggles to land a body shot inside as Treestump controls his hands.
Treestump blocks an uppercut.
A left hand lands to the body for Thundercunt.
Treestump tries to pull guard but Thundercunt forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
Thundercunt lands with a left to the head.
Treestump's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Treestump told us before the fight that he's been working on his elbows. An under utilised technique these days - let's see if it can sway the outcome of the fight.
Treestump is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables Thundercunt to keep the fight standing.
Theodore Thundercunt has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Ogre Treestump.
Thundercunt is pressed up against the cage. Treestump has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Thundercunt down to the mat. Thundercunt avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Treestump is defended easily by Thundercunt.
As Treestump tries to get set, Thundercunt tries to push him back and clinch up but Treestump manages to avoid the attempt.
Ogre Treestump seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Treestump closes the distance and clinches up with Thundercunt, looking for a takedown. Treestump pushes Thundercunt against the cage but Thundercunt circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.

Thundercunt clinches with his opponent.
Thundercunt can't find room to land a body shot as Treestump controls the action.
Thundercunt throws a punch but it's blocked by Treestump.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Thundercunt stalling in the clinch.
Thundercunt lands with a short shot to the head.
Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thundercunt can't find room to land a body shot as Treestump controls the action.
Thundercunt softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
A shot in the inside from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Thundercunt misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thundercunt lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Treestump or not.
A nice left hand lands by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Treestump blocks it.
Thundercunt lands a left hand.
Treestump prevents a body shot from Thundercunt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A body shot lands from Thundercunt.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Treestump tries to pull guard but Thundercunt won't allow it.
Thundercunt gets through Treestump's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch.
Treestump tries to pull guard but Thundercunt holds him up against the cage and eventually Treestump drops back down to his feet.
Treestump prevents a body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt scores with a shot to the side of Treestump's head.

It looks like Ogre Treestump has been cut.
Thundercunt scores with a shot to the side of Treestump's head.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch.
Thundercunt lands a body shot in the clinch.
Treestump looks winded!
Thundercunt controlling the action here for a moment.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Thundercunt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Treestump's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Thundercunt scores with a nice hook to the head.
Thundercunt dips a shoulder and cracks Treestump with a mighty uppercut! Treestump falls back against the cage and Thundercunt unloads with a barrage of strikes! Treestump is completely out with his eyes open, only supported by the cage! Save him ref! Eventually the ref decides to do his job and jumps in - Thundercunt screams abuse at the incompetent official before going over to celebrate with his corner. Brutal stuff!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:25 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Theodore Thundercunt!