PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Bleh Wha (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Matt Porcelain Punisher (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Wha comes to the cage accompanied by Super Bon Bon - Soul Coughing. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Wha
vs
Porcelain Punisher

225 cm
38
300 lbs
42 - 23 - 0

225 cm
31
300 lbs
22 - 10 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Museum of Monsters & Madmen
Sin City Allstars

Revolution Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 42 - 23 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Bleh Wha!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 22 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Matt Porcelain Punisher!
The judges for this bout are Emerson Jorge, Alexandre Firmino and Mauricio Rocha.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Wha tries to clinch up but Porcelain Punisher circles away and keeps his distance.

Wha darts in and clinches Porcelain Punisher up against the cage.
Nice body punch from Wha.
Wha tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Wha will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Porcelain Punisher up against the cage.
Porcelain Punisher leaning against his opponent.
Wha controlling the action here for a moment.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Wha leaning his opponent against the cage.
Wha seems to have come into the fight with the intention of avoiding any damage in the clinch, rather than actually showing any aggression.
Our sources have told us that Wha has been working on his knees in the buildup to the fight.
Porcelain Punisher is looking to control Wha's arms but Wha gets an underhook and turns him. Now Porcelain Punisher has his back to the cage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wha lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Wha misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Wha lands a left hand that snaps the head of Porcelain Punisher backwards.
Wha stalling.
Wha slows down the pace here.
Porcelain Punisher has been looking to improve his clinch game in recent weeks. Wha seems to have the measure of him in the clinch so far, so let's see if Porcelain Punisher can turn it around.
Wha landing knees to the body.
Porcelain Punisher taking a breather.
A battle for position here, against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wha lands a hook that snaps the head of Porcelain Punisher backwards.
Wha avoiding damage.
Wha lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Porcelain Punisher is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Wha lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Wha tries to work over Porcelain Punisher's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Wha manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Wha tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Stalling in the clinch from Wha.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Wha creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Wha using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
Wha misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Wha is stalling here.
Wha misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Porcelain Punisher.
Wha throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Porcelain Punisher blocks it with crossed arms.
Wha goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Wha stalling.
Wha misses with a knee to the head.
Porcelain Punisher managing to block the knees to the body from Wha.
Wha is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A short left from Wha.
Wha stalls.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Bleh Wha.
Wha is looking to clinch but Porcelain Punisher is avoiding it.

Wha rushes Porcelain Punisher and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Wha landing knees to the body.
Porcelain Punisher looks winded!
Wha putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has Porcelain Punisher in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.
Wha slows down the pace here.
Wha lands a shoulder strike.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Porcelain Punisher blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bleh Wha dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Wha fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Porcelain Punisher, pushing him back against the cage.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Porcelain Punisher prevents a body shot from Wha.
Porcelain Punisher blocking some punches.
Wha crunches a lovely knee into Porcelain Punisher's ribcage.
Wha has Porcelain Punisher pushed against the cage.
Wha is leaning against Porcelain Punisher and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Wha with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
Porcelain Punisher is breathing heavily.
Wha misses with a body punch.
Wha has a couple of punches blocked by Porcelain Punisher.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Wha utilising his Muay Thai to score with a knee to the body.
Wha is working Porcelain Punisher over against the cage.
Wha is stalling here.
Wha lands a knee to the body.
Wha slowing the pace effectively.
Wha has Porcelain Punisher pressed against the cage.
Wha misses with a punch to the body.
Knees in the clinch landing for Wha.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wha leaning his opponent against the cage.
Wha misses with a body punch.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Wha lands a left hand that snaps the head of Porcelain Punisher backwards.
Wha taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Bleh Wha.
Wha is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Wha tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Porcelain Punisher paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Porcelain Punisher swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A looping hook to the body misses from Porcelain Punisher. Wha does a little dance to reset his feet.
Wha is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Porcelain Punisher can do to turn this around?
The fight stays on the outside here - Wha looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Porcelain Punisher! But no joy.

Wha moves into the clinch successfully.
Wha misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Wha leaning his opponent against the cage.
Wha lands a left hand.
Wha lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Wha misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Wha stalling the fight.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Wha lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Wha lands with a light punch inside.
Wha stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Bleh Wha has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Wha using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Wha.
Wha tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Porcelain Punisher's elbow.
Wha is pushing Porcelain Punisher up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Wha taking a breather.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bleh Wha dominated that second round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! This is the final round!

Wha moves in looking to clinch but Porcelain Punisher pushes him off.
Porcelain Punisher tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Wha was well out of range. Poor timing from Porcelain Punisher.
Porcelain Punisher circles away from the clinch attempt.

Wha has closed the distance and engaged Porcelain Punisher in a clinch.
Wha manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Wha is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
Wha lands a hook that snaps the head of Porcelain Punisher backwards.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Wha stalling.
Wha goes for a body shot but it's blocked.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Porcelain Punisher has had enough of the clinch but Wha keeps him there for the moment.
Wha keeps control of Porcelain Punisher as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Wha using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
Porcelain Punisher takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Knees to the body from Wha.
Wha is working Porcelain Punisher over against the cage.
A left hand lands to the body for Wha.
Wha lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Wha working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Wha misses with a punch to the body.
Wha lands a nice knee to the body.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
A nice right hand lands inside from Wha.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A bit of stalling here from Wha.
Wha misses with a body punch.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Wha.
Wha taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Wha tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Wha putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has Porcelain Punisher in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.
Wha lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Wha manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Wha struggles to land a body shot inside as Porcelain Punisher controls his hands.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wha struggles to land a body shot inside as Porcelain Punisher controls his hands.
Porcelain Punisher has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Wha with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Wha misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Wha tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Wha scores with a hook to the body.
Wha tries to throw a body punch but Porcelain Punisher avoids it by throwing Wha back against the cage.
Wha slowing the pace effectively.
Porcelain Punisher is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
Porcelain Punisher blocks a body shot from Wha.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Wha tries to throw a body punch but Porcelain Punisher avoids it by throwing Wha back against the cage.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Wha avoiding damage.
Porcelain Punisher goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Wha lands a knee to the body.
Bleh Wha is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Wha has Porcelain Punisher pressed against the cage.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Wha with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.

And that's the end of the fight!
Bleh Wha showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Wha, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Emerson Jorge scores the fight 30:24
Judge Alexandre Firmino scores the fight 30:24
Judge Mauricio Rocha scores the fight 30:24

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Bleh Wha!
Bleh Wha decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.