PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Val Halla (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Theodericus Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both these guys have solid standup skills and neither is particularly fantastic on the ground, so let's hope for a nice standup war!

Halla
vs
Thundercunt

195 cm
26
257 lbs
3 - 2 - 0

195 cm
26
255 lbs
5 - 2 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Very quick

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Val Halla!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Theodericus Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are David Hoff, Dirk Anderson and Sandra Marshall.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Halla misses with a body shot.
Halla lands a jab to the nose.
Halla swings for the body but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Halla getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Halla connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Halla connects with a right hand. Thundercunt shakes it off.
Thundercunt throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
A cross from Halla lands.
Halla will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Thundercunt throws out a counter right but Halla avoids it with no problem.
Halla swings for the body but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Halla throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Thundercunt throws a counter combo.
Halla misses with a hook.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt throws a body shot but no joy.
Halla scores with a shot to the body.
Thundercunt takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Val Halla seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Halla fails in his attempt to clinch.
Thundercunt throws out a counter right but Halla avoids it with no problem.
Halla fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Halla wants to clinch up but Thundercunt keeps it at a distance.
Thundercunt has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Halla tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Halla tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Thundercunt was well out of range. Poor timing from Halla.
Nice cross by Halla.
Thundercunt is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Halla.
Halla thuds his right hand into Thundercunt's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Halla bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Halla clobbers Thundercunt with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt throws a body punch but Halla moves out of range.
Halla throws a shot to the body.
Halla is looking light on his feet compared to last time was saw him fight.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Thundercunt on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Halla lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Thundercunt takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Halla lands a nice hook to Thundercunt's body. Thundercunt takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Halla misses with a body shot.
Halla misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Thundercunt.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Thundercunt! But no joy.
Thundercunt is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Halla.
A little feinted left hand from Halla on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Halla lands with a nice body punch.
Halla punishes Thundercunt's body with a nice straight punch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt tries to score with a low kick but Halla moves his leg out of the way.
A looping hook to the body misses from Halla. Thundercunt does a little dance to reset his feet.
Halla tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Thundercunt manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Thundercunt looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Halla throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Thundercunt.
Halla is looking to wear down Thundercunt with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Thundercunt misses with a combination
and Halla counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Halla is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Halla scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Halla swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Halla slips a jab from Thundercunt.
Halla lands a nice looking body shot.
Halla lands a slapping body shot.
Halla throws a right hand that Thundercunt ducks under and follows up with a left that Thundercunt also avoids with ease.
Despite the aggression on Thundercunt's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Halla scores with a hook to the body. Thundercunt takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Thundercunt takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Thundercunt throws an overhand right that lands on Halla's shoulder, as Halla tries to avoid the shot.
A counter left hand to the body from Halla misses its target.
Halla throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Thundercunt on the side of the head.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Halla swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Halla scores with a nice strike.
Halla cracks Thundercunt with an open hand slap.
Thundercunt moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Jab from Halla.
Nice cross by Halla.
Halla getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Val Halla dominated that round.
That's time! Halla's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Halla wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Halla is looking to clinch but Thundercunt is avoiding it.
Halla connects with a body shot.
Thundercunt takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Halla fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Halla swings for the body but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Thundercunt flicks out a counter leg kick but Halla steps away.
Halla scores with a shot to the body.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Thundercunt might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Halla has got the better of the exchanges.
Thundercunt throws a right hand that misses
and Halla counters with a straight right hand.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Halla lands a slapping body shot.
Some wild striking there from Halla.
Nice shot by Halla.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Halla throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Halla with a jab.
Halla avoids the body shot from Thundercunt.
Halla cracks Thundercunt with an open hand slap.
Halla is looking to clinch.
Halla scores with a jab to the head.
Halla lands a jab to the nose.
Val Halla is winning the standup battle so far.
Halla catches Thundercunt with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!

Thundercunt is rocked!
Halla lands a big uppercut and this one is all over! His foe lies motionless on the canvas - a massive one punch knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:53 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Val Halla!
After winning the bout, Val Halla thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.