PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Anna Velvet (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Joe Strummer (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The crowd seem to be enjoying Strummer's choice of entrance music: The Stranglers- Nice N' Sleazy. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Joe Strummer was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Velvet
vs
Strummer

170 cm
28
148 lbs
14 - 7 - 1

168 cm
27
159 lbs
12 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Excellent grappler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Namunamu Clothing

Sin City Allstars

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 7 - 1, fighting out of St Petersburg, Anna Velvet!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Joe Strummer!
The judges for this bout are Cecil Peabody, Gwen Towbar and Tiny Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Strummer ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Strummer shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Velvet checks a leg kick nicely.
Velvet scores with a hook to the body. Strummer takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Velvet has been working on his boxing with his coaches at gym closing in the buildup to the fight.
Strummer shoots in for a takedown but Velvet shows good takedown defense.
A big right from Strummer misses.
A counter left hand to the body from Velvet misses its target.
Strummer lands a two punch combo.
Strummer lands a nice looking body shot.
Joe Strummer seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Strummer throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Velvet comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Some bone on bone action there as Velvet checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.

Strummer dives in and scores a takedown into Velvet's guard.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Strummer looking to pass the guard.
Velvet pulls Strummer in to control the position.
Strummer pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Velvet is keeping the position for now.
Velvet is looking to stand up but Strummer isn't so interested in that idea.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Strummer stands and throws Velvet's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Velvet is trying to escape and get back to his feet.
Strummer passes to full mount! That's big trouble for Velvet!
Strummer throwing sloppy strikes here. Perhaps if he tightened up his striking from such a dominant position, he'd be able to finish easier.
Velvet wriggling around on the bottom manages to avoid the strikes thrown by Strummer.
Strummer punching from mount but Velvet doing a good job of avoiding damage.

Strummer is looking to secure an arm. He's managed it! He's pivoting for an armbar - that looks tight! But Velvet has managed to get out of it and now he's in a dominant position. Nice work from Velvet!
Strummer looking for a sweep. Not yet Strummer, not yet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Velvet has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Strummer is proving hard to escape from.
Our spies down at at 5 Star Spar Bazaar inform us that Strummer has really been working on his submissions in the buildup to this fight. Will it pay off?
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

Velvet avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Strummer has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.

Velvet got a little sloppy there for a moment and Strummer has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Velvet has managed to get both his arms back between Strummer's legs - danger averted.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Strummer is on top in guard.

Strummer prevents Velvet from getting back to his feet.
Strummer stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Velvet swivels though and keeps the full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Strummer trying to control the position from guard on top but Velvet is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

Strummer postures up as if he's going to throw some strikes but drops back for an ankle! Velvet is in big trouble! He looks ready to tap! But no, he's escaped and dives on top of Strummer, into his guard.

The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Strummer looking for a sweep. Not yet Strummer, not yet.
Strummer is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.

Velvet decides he's had enough of playing guard and decides to stand. Come on Strummer, up you get!
Strummer is looking to clinch.
Velvet is looking to counter with a body kick.

Strummer clinches with his opponent.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Strummer tries to work over Velvet's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Strummer drops to a knee looking for a takedown but Velvet gets the underhooks and prevents it.
Anna Velvet has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Joe Strummer.
A body shot lands from Velvet.
Velvet lands a body punch in the clinch.
Velvet lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Strummer backwards.
Velvet prevents a body shot from Strummer.
Velvet lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
A head punch on the inside from Velvet fails to land.
The referee calls for Velvet to work.

Velvet escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

Strummer moves into the clinch.
Strummer blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Velvet blocks a body shot from Strummer.
Strummer fails to pull guard.
Velvet wants to stall.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Joe Strummer will probably get the nod.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Velvet lands a jab.
Velvet scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Velvet throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Strummer darts in looking for a takedown but Velvet gets double underhooks and turns Strummer into the cage.
Strummer smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Velvet throws a body punch but Strummer moves out of range.
Strummer tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Velvet manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Velvet is looking to counter punch.
Strummer throws an overhand right that lands on Velvet's shoulder, as Velvet tries to avoid the shot.
Velvet scores with a nice head shot.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Strummer shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Velvet is trying to defend but Strummer finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.

Velvet pushes Strummer off and gets back to his feet.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Anna Velvet is winning the standup battle so far.
Strummer misses with a jab to the body
and Velvet counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Strummer thinking.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Velvet throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Good exchange - Velvet coming out on top.
Strummer steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Velvet.
Strummer misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Velvet.
Velvet swings for the body but Strummer moves out of range.
Strummer misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Velvet.
A leg kick checked by Strummer.
Velvet gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Velvet looks to score with a jab to the body but Strummer is just out of range.
Velvet throws a poor cross that misses

and Strummer counters by clinching up.
Strummer tries to throw a body punch but Velvet avoids it by throwing Strummer back against the cage.
Strummer lands with a light punch inside.
Strummer struggles to land a body shot inside as Velvet controls his hands.

Strummer successfully pulls guard.

Strummer had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Velvet defends it easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Strummer being controlled here, momentarily.
Velvet won't allow Strummer to sweep him here.

Velvet got a little sloppy there for a moment and Strummer has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Velvet has managed to get both his arms back between Strummer's legs - danger averted.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Strummer working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Velvet doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Velvet manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Velvet slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Velvet decides he's had enough of playing guard and decides to stand. Come on Strummer, up you get!
A looping hook to the body misses from Strummer. Velvet does a little dance to reset his feet.
Velvet smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Anna Velvet is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Strummer misses with an uppercut.
Velvet dips to his left and cracks Strummer with an uppercut!
Strummer with a lazy takedown attempt
and Velvet counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Strummer takes a swing at Velvet's ribcage but misses.
A slow jab from Strummer misses its intended target.
Velvet swings for the body but Strummer moves out of range.
Velvet misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Strummer.
A looping hook to the body misses from Strummer. Velvet does a little dance to reset his feet.
Velvet connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Strummer momentarily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Strummer misses with a straight left.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Velvet here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
Velvet takes a swing at Strummer's ribcage but misses.
Strummer pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Velvet swings for the body but Strummer moves out of range.
Velvet jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Velvet is looking to wear down Strummer with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Velvet pivots, looking for a leg kick but Strummer is out of range and Velvet settles back down.
Strummer throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Velvet connects with a body shot.
Velvet loads up on a big right hand but Strummer slips the punch.
Strummer wants to counter with a clinch but Velvet pushes him away.
Strummer with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Strummer misses with a head kick.
Velvet takes a swing at Strummer's ribcage but misses.
A decent looking cross lands there for Velvet.
Velvet walks into a stiff left hand from Strummer.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Anna Velvet dominated that second round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Velvet lands a jab to Strummer's midsection.

Velvet tries to sprawl but Strummer drives through with a takedown into half guard.
Velvet looks like he's trying to stand up.

Strummer is looking for a kimura but Velvet is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Strummer to get the leverage.
Velvet is trying to maintain the position but Strummer is very close to passing his half guard.
Strummer trying to pass the guard but Velvet defending well.

Velvet pushes Strummer off and gets back to his feet.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A shot to the liver by Velvet. Beautiful body shot.
Velvet with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Strummer to score with a decent uppercut.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Velvet swings for the body but Strummer moves out of range.
Velvet will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Strummer throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Velvet was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Strummer tries to clinch but Velvet moves away
and Velvet counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Strummer just misses with a punch to the body.
Strummer connects with a body shot.
Velvet throws a body shot but no joy.
Velvet misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Strummer.
Strummer gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Strummer thows a left - swing and a miss!
Velvet looks to score with a jab to the body but Strummer is just out of range.
Strummer appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Velvet avoids a punch combination nicely.
Velvet misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Strummer.
A lazy body kick from Strummer
and Velvet counters with a nice uppercut.
Strummer misses with a looping right.
Nice jab there from Strummer.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Strummer misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Velvet.
Velvet throws a front kick aimed at Strummer's knee but Strummer avoids it well.

Strummer closes the distance and pushes Velvet back into the cage.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Velvet scores with an uppercut up the middle.
A short uppercut from Velvet.

Velvet breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Velvet scores with a hook to the body. Strummer takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Strummer fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Velvet misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Strummer lands the left hand.
Velvet misses the shot to the body.
Strummer misses the shot to the body.
Velvet throws a leg kick but Strummer moved away.
Velvet lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A jab from Velvet misses.
Velvet takes a swing at Strummer's ribcage but misses.
Velvet misses with a combination
and Strummer counters with a nice body shot.
Strummer avoids the body shot from Velvet.
Velvet keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Strummer misses with a hook to the body
and Velvet counters with a two punch combo.
Strummer scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Velvet throws a body shot but no joy.
Strummer throws a low kick but Velvet moves out of range easily.
Strummer throws a body punch but Velvet moves out of range.
Velvet scores with a jab to the body.
Velvet loads up on a big right hand but Strummer slips the punch.
Velvet throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Strummer throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Strummer just misses with a punch to the body.
Strummer connects with a single shot there.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Velvet misses with a body shot.
Strummer lands with a good body shot.
Velvet tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Strummer was well out of range. Poor timing from Velvet.
Strummer counters with a body kick.
Strummer shuffles to his left behind two crisp jabs. Velvet eats them both and turns towards Strummer to reposition himself and eats a stinging right hand-left hook combo.
Velvet throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
It seemed like Strummer was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Velvet with a hook.
A nice inside leg kick there by Strummer. That's going to slow Velvet down.
No joy there for Strummer, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Velvet tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Strummer was well out of range. Poor timing from Velvet.
Velvet slips under a jab.
A jab from Strummer misses.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Anna Velvet.
I think Velvet has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Cecil Peabody scores the fight 30:27
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 29:28
Judge Tiny Johnson scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Anna Velvet!
Our winner, Anna Velvet, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.
Joe Strummer was interviewed post fight and said 'Big deal, you beat a dead guy.'.