PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Theodore Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Val Halla (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Thundercunt
vs
Halla

194 cm
26
245 lbs
8 - 2 - 0

195 cm
26
257 lbs
6 - 2 - 0

Decent wrestler
Solid boxing
KO power

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Fast

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Theodore Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Val Halla!
The judges for this bout are Santiago Holmes, Sandra Marshall and Winston Alpacca.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Halla throws a body shot but no joy.
Halla steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Thundercunt.

Thundercunt moves into the clinch.
Halla blocks an uppercut.
Halla blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Thundercunt.
Thundercunt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Thundercunt lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Halla or not.
Halla blocking some punches.
Thundercunt has a couple of punches blocked by Halla.
Halla misses with the head strike.
Halla tries a body shot but Thundercunt blocks it.
Halla lands a right hand.
Thundercunt tries to throw a body punch but Halla avoids it by throwing Thundercunt back against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Halla swings wildly with an uppercut but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Thundercunt doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Thundercunt softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Thundercunt scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Thundercunt digs a right hand into Halla's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Halla's gas tank.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Halla tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Halla misses with a hook to the ribs.
Halla blocks a body shot from Thundercunt.
Halla misses with a body punch.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Thundercunt.
Thundercunt makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Halla has a couple of punches blocked by Thundercunt.
Halla misses with a short punch on the inside.
Halla's coach down at Rabid Dog was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on Halla's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
A short right from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt cracks Halla with a nice body shot.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt scores with a nice hook to the head.
Halla presses Thundercunt against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Halla swings wildly with an uppercut but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Thundercunt doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Thundercunt tries to work over Halla's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
A body shot lands from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt working aggressively here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt lands with a short shot to the head.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Thundercunt.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch.
Thundercunt working aggressively here.
Halla lands on the inside with an uppercut.
A short body shot lands from Thundercunt as the two fighters clinch.
Halla looks winded!
A shot in the inside from Thundercunt.

Thundercunt manages to break the clinch.
Halla tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Thundercunt was well out of range. Poor timing from Halla.
Thundercunt with a hook.
Halla swings away with a body shot that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a straight right hand.
Thundercunt seems to be moving with more speed, compared to his last bout. He must have been working on that in the gym.
Val Halla seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Thundercunt pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Halla blocks a jab.
Thundercunt takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Halla throws a hook to the side of Thundercunt's head but Thundercunt sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Thundercunt cracks Halla with a nasty uppercut that draws ooohs from the crowd and sends Halla tumbling backwards onto the mat. He tries to recover but Thundercunt pounces and lands a hail of unanswered strikes that forces the referee to step in to end the fight! Halla is not happy but he gave the referee no choice!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Theodore Thundercunt!