PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Afonso Cabral (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Tommy Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Thundercunt is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by You are a Cunt. Tommy Thundercunt has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Afonso Cabral's chin.

Cabral
vs
Thundercunt

185 cm
27
300 lbs
15 - 2 - 0

197 cm
26
260 lbs
9 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Cardio machine

Decent wrestler
Great elbows
Good gas tank

Sully's Bar & Grill
Leviathan Clothing

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Afonso Cabral!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Tommy Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Bart Greer, Sandra Marshall and Dirk Anderson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thundercunt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Cabral is looking to counter the offense by Thundercunt and move into the clinch.
Cabral fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Cabral.
Cabral uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Cabral.
Cabral sets himself, and Thundercunt steps forward looking for the clinch! Cabral avoids it this time.
Good standup being displayed there by Thundercunt as he connects with a hook.
Cabral misses with a hook.
Thundercunt misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cabral.
Tommy Thundercunt seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt lands with a nice body punch.
A cross from Thundercunt lands.
Thundercunt misses with a wild body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cabral fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Thundercunt misses with a body shot.
We've been told by Cabral's head coaches at Woodhouse's that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Cabral ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Thundercunt moves away.
Thundercunt swings away with a body shot that misses
and Cabral counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Cabral has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Cabral there as he acknowledges the shot.
A looping hook to the body misses from Thundercunt. Cabral does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thundercunt throws a body shot but no joy.
Cabral throws out a loose jab but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Cabral misses with a left hand
and Thundercunt counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Thundercunt feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Cabrals jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cabral missing with a left hand there. Thundercunt was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Nice shot lands for Thundercunt.
Thundercunt tries to clinch but Cabral is having none of it.
Cabral is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Cabral moves away from the strike by Thundercunt.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cabral swings widly with a right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a nice uppercut.
Thundercunt throws the left hand but Cabral avoids the punch easily.
Thundercunt bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Cabral's head backwards.
Thundercunt misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cabral.
Cabral swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Cabral takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Thundercunt looks to score with a jab to the body but Cabral is just out of range.
Cabral is trying to close the distance and clinch up, after that failed offence from Thundercunt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Cabral misses with a straight left.
Cabral misses with a left hand
enabling Thundercunt to counter with a crisp jab.
Thundercunt scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Thundercunt tries to clinch there but Cabral circles away.
Cabral jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Thundercunt appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Thundercunt tries to clinch up.
As Thundercunt tries to get set, Cabral tries to push him back and clinch up but Thundercunt manages to avoid the attempt.
Thundercunt is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! Cabral had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Thundercunt just misses with a punch to the body.
Cabral scores with a decent looking hook.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt just misses with a punch to the body.
Cabral looks to land a right hand but Thundercunt moved out of range.
Thundercunt scores with a sloppy right hand. Cabral should have avoided that one.
Thundercunt displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cabral throws out the jab.
Thundercunt throws out a counter right but Cabral avoids it with no problem.
Thundercunt has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Jab, jab by Thundercunt - just one landing.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cabral swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Jab from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Cabral moves away.
Thundercunt misses the jab.
A big left from Cabral misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Tommy Thundercunt dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Thundercunt swings for the body but Cabral moves out of range.
Thundercunt throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Thundercunt swings widly with a right hand
enabling Cabral to counter with a crisp jab.

It looks like Tommy Thundercunt has been cut.
Cabral pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Thundercunt ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch

and Cabral counters by clinching up.
Thundercunt lands with a short shot to the head.
Thundercunt lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Cabral or not.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt lands a hook that snaps the head of Cabral backwards.
Thundercunt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Cabral's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Cabral tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Thundercunt's elbow.
Cabral trying to stall but Thundercunt improves his position.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands with a right to the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Thundercunt blocking some punches.
Cabral is really struggling to find his range with his punches. Thundercunt's reach advantage is clearly causing him problems.
Cabral wants to stall.
Cabral tries to throw a body punch but Thundercunt avoids it by throwing Cabral back against the cage.
The referee calls for Thundercunt to work.
Thundercunt lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Cabral.
Cabral wants to stall.
Cabral misses with a punch to the body.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Cabral.
Cabral lands a hook that snaps the head of Thundercunt backwards.
Nice elbow from Thundercunt.
Cabral misses with a short punch on the inside.

Thundercunt's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.

Thundercunt cracks Cabral with a big right hand that sends him crashing to the floor. Thundercunt has the opportunity to follow him to the ground but instead he's beckoning Cabral to stand back up!

Cabral is rocked!

It looks like Afonso Cabral has been cut.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Thundercunt connects with a body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Thundercunt rushes Cabral and presses him up against the cage.
Thundercunt scores with an uppercut up the middle.

Thundercunt drops Cabral onto one knee with a big uppercut from the clinch! Cabral is propped up by the cage and works his way back to his feet!
Oh Cabral is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Cabral misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thundercunt lands a body punch in the clinch.
Thundercunt has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Thundercunt lands a hook that snaps the head of Cabral backwards.
Thundercunt pushes off and lands a massive hook that knocks Cabral out cold! The fight is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:30 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Tommy Thundercunt!
Tommy Thundercunt is the new super heavyweight champion!
In his post fight interview, Tommy Thundercunt started talking himself up. Luckily his charisma kept the crowd on side and gave him a good reception.