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Ascension Return of The D PBP Commentary


Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between No For Gay Jesus and I Am. Jesus comes to the cage accompanied by Havana. Am has chosen Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Part II as his entrance music. The atmosphere really building for this one as we go over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

183 cm
27
170 lbs
10 - 3 - 0
175 cm
27
178 lbs
7 - 1 - 0
Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Insanely flexible
Excellent grappler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Bullet Proof System
Hellbent

Sin City Allstars



Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 wins, 3 losses and 0 draws, fighting out of Los Angeles, No For Gay Jesus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 wins, 1 losses and 0 draws, fighting out of Las Vegas, I Am!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, Don Winkell and Jack Bonds.



The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Am just misses with a punch to the body.
Jesus was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Am misses with a wild body shot.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Jesus, right into the meat.
Am lands a jab to Jesus's midsection.
Am lands with a nice body punch.
Am misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Jesus.
Am scores with a jab to the body.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jesus throws a leg kick
and Am counters with a stiff right hand.

It looks like No For Gay Jesus has been cut.
A telegraphed right hand from Jesus misses the target.
A lazy body kick from Am
enabling Jesus to counter with a crisp jab.
Sloppy strikes from Am. Those never looked like landing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Am connects with a good right hand that stumbles Jesus. Jesus circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Jesus throws a wild body kick that Am sees coming a mile off.
Jesus scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Jesus checks the leg kick nicely there.
No For Gay Jesus is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Jesus with a hook.
Am misses with a series of wild punches.
As Am backs away, Jesus returns fire with a leg kick that just misses.
Jesus throws a low kick but Am moves out of range easily.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Am! But no joy.
Am misses with a combination
letting Jesus counter with a right hand.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jesus lands the left hand.
Jesus throws a head kick that misses.
Am throws a right and a left that both miss.
A little feinted left hand from Jesus on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Jesus pivots, looking for a leg kick but Am is out of range and Jesus settles back down.
Jesus connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Jesus swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Am.
I Am seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Am with a jab.
Am throws a right and a left that both miss.
Jesus is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
A jab from Jesus misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Am moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Jesus loads up on a big right hand but Am slips the punch.
Jesus thuds his right hand into Am's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.

Am is rocked!
Am misses the shot to the body.
Am is still on wobbly legs! Can Jesus finish him?
Jesus checks the leg kick.
Am seems to have recovered his senses.
Jesus moves out of range of the strikes.
Jesus throwing a counter right hand but Am manages to avoid it.
Jesus will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Am throws a counter combo.
Am swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Am just misses with a punch to the body.
Am throws a right hand that misses
and Jesus counters with a nice low kick that buckles Am's knee momentarily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jesus steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Am.
Jesus half committed to a counter leg kick.
Am throws a leg kick that is checked
and Jesus makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Jesus slips under a jab.
Jesus is looking to counter punch.
Jesus misses with a low kick.
A telegraphed right hand from Am misses the target.
Am throws a lazy head kick
letting Jesus counter with a right hand.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Am throws a leg kick

and Jesus counters with a crisp right hand that drops Am! Jesus lets Am back up to his feet, looking for a finish!
Jesus throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Am sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Am throws a feint and then finishes with a kick to the body.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Am checks a leg kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

No For Gay Jesus dominated that round.
The cut man is working on No For Gay Jesus's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!


Am throws a sloppy head kick and Jesus moves out of range easily.
A cross from Am lands.
Am has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Am there as he acknowledges the shot.
Jesus seems to be moving with more speed, compared to his last bout. He must have been working on that in the gym.
Jesus ducks under a wild hook from Am.
A swing and a miss from Jesus.

Jesus cracks Am with a big right hand that sends him crashing to the floor. Jesus has the opportunity to follow him to the ground but instead he's beckoning Am to stand back up!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Am ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Am is trying to avoid his opponent's strikes and get into the clinch.
Nice sprawl there from Jesus as Am shoots in.
Am ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Jesus moves away.
Jesus was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Jesus steps to his left, right into the path of a big body kick from Am. That one must have hurt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jesus misses with a leg kick.
Am tries to bum rush Jesus with a series of wild strikes but Jesus uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
A slow jab from Am misses its intended target.
Am keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Jesus.
Am doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
Jesus bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Jesus just misses with a punch to the body.
Jesus looks for the body kick but Am saw that one coming.
Am blocks a leg kick.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Am might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Jesus has got the better of the exchanges.
Am throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Jesus.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Am attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
A combination from Jesus does no damage.
Jesus is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Am can do to turn this around?
Am looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
A quick step to the side and Jesus tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Am throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
An attempted straight right counter from Jesus misses the target.
Am swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Am thows a left - swing and a miss!
Jesus swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Am throws a jab but it's blocked by Jesus.
Am moves out of range as Jesus strikes.
Am looks like he wants to counter punch here.
A big left from Jesus misses.
Jesus throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Am sees it coming and avoids it easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Am looking to land some kicks to the body here.
A quick step to the side and Jesus tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Good shot there by Jesus.
No For Gay Jesus is winning the standup battle so far.
Am clobbers Jesus with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Am misses with a left hand
and Jesus counters with a straight right hand.
Am throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Jesus throwing a counter right hand but Am manages to avoid it.
A solid leg kick lands there for Am.
Am lands with a nice combination. Jesus backs away looking to recover.
Am misses with a shot to the body
and Jesus finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
Jesus punishes Am's body with a nice straight punch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Jesus misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Am punishes Jesus's body with a nice straight punch.
Am fails to land with a series of punches.
Jesus looks to land a right hand but Am moved out of range.
Am throws the left hand but Jesus avoids the punch easily.
An attempted straight right counter from Jesus misses the target.
Jesus throws a big shot that misses.
Jesus lands a really nice looking cross but Am seems unphased.
Jesus lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Jesus on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that No For Gay Jesus will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on No For Gay Jesus's cut.
That's time! Jesus's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!


Jesus does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Jesus blocks a jab.
Jesus looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.
Jesus lands a leg kick that knocks Am off balance momentarily.
Jesus chopping away at his opponent's legs.
A good leg kick by Jesus.
Am misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Jesus makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Jesus tries to land a leg kick but Am saw it coming and moves away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Am misses with a hook. Jesus ducked under it nicely.
Am takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Am misses with a two punch combination.
It looked like Jesus wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Am lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
Am misses the jab.
Jesus appeared to be looking to counter that last move with a leg kick.
Am jabs Jesus to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Jesus throws an overhand right that lands on Am's shoulder, as Am tries to avoid the shot.
Jesus uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Am.
It looked like Jesus was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Am.
An inside leg kick lands from Am.
Am throws a nice inside leg kick.
Am swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
A swing and a miss from Am.
Jesus fires out a quick counter leg kick but Am just manages to avoid it.
No For Gay Jesus is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Am misses with a double jab
and Jesus counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
I Am has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Am keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Jesus.
Am pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Jesus throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Jesus goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Am misses with a shot to the body
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
I Am is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Am fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Jesus manages to avoid it.
Jesus slips a straight right by Am.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Good shot there by Jesus.
A head kick misses from Am.
Jesus is looking to counter with head kicks.
Am throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
As Am backs away, Jesus returns fire with a leg kick that just misses.
Am looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Jesus is looking to counter punch.
Jesus fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Jesus slips a jab from Am.
Jesus swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Jesus is looking to chop away at Am's legs.
Jesus throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Am lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Am.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Am attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
It looked like Jesus wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Sloppy strikes from Am. Those never looked like landing.
Jesus stuns Am with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
A lazy body kick from Am
and Jesus counters with a body kick that stops Am in his tracks momentarily.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Am does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Am's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Am misses with a looping right.
Jesus showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Am.
Jesus jabs Am right on the nose. Am blinks but takes it well.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to I Am.
Well Jesus has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 29:28
Judge Don Winkell scores the fight 29:28
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... No For Gay Jesus!

No For Gay Jesus seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
58%
 
 
 
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