PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Fill Brooks (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Douche Canoe (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Brooks
vs
Canoe

188 cm
25
218 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

197 cm
18
215 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Counter fighter
KO power

Good wrestler
Basic striking
Powerful

Anarchy Clothing & Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Fill Brooks!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Douche Canoe!
The judges for this bout are Summer Carpenter, Winston Howard and Damien Edna.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Canoe displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Brooks.

Canoe shoots in and gets a takedown into Brooks's guard.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Canoe accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Canoe working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Canoe postures up and lands a big shot to Brooks's brow.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Canoe accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Canoe trying to control but Brooks is working from the bottom.
Canoe sitting in guard, not really doing much.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Canoe distracts Brooks with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Canoe content to stall in guard here.
Canoe sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Brooks's guard.
Canoe seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Canoe slips a nice elbow through Brooks's hands, connecting with Brooks's forehead.
Canoe thows a huge punch but Brooks dodges it nicely.
Brooks has hold of Canoe's hands but Canoe slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
Canoe is taking a breather. Brooks says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
Canoe looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Brooks with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Brooks is pressing down on Canoe's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.
Canoe engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Brooks looking for a sweep. Not yet Brooks, not yet.
Canoe not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
We must be close to a standup if these guys don't pick up the pace.
Canoe trying to control the position from guard on top but Brooks is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Canoe scores with a takedown into Brooks's guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Canoe is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Brooks has momentary wrist control but Canoe slips an elbow through the middle.
Canoe scoring with punches to the head and body.
Canoe is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Canoe trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Canoe throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Canoe postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Canoe is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
Canoe must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.

Brooks is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Canoe is aware though and is defending well.
Canoe working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Brooks being controlled here, momentarily.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
Brooks on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Brooks tries to get out of the position.
Canoe landing some decent shots from guard.
Brooks striking from the bottom.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Canoe is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
Canoe swings for the body but Brooks moves out of range.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Douche Canoe dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Canoe decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.
Canoe is controlling the pace.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Nice strikes from Canoe there.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
Brooks makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Brooks.
Canoe is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Canoe throwing strikes but missing.
Canoe makes a bit of distance and scores with some ground and pound, still in guard.

It looks like Fill Brooks has been cut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Canoe is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Canoe content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Canoe connects with a couple of short punches.
Canoe throws a big right hand that misses.
Canoe has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Canoe works over Brooks with some ground and pound from guard.

Brooks is rocked!

Fill Brooks's cut is getting worse.
Canoe controls the pace of the fight for a moment.

Brooks is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Canoe connects with a couple of short punches.
Oh Brooks is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!

Fill Brooks's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Brooks keeping moving, preventing Canoe from controlling successfully.
Brooks seems to have got his legs back now.
Canoe sitting in guard, not really doing much.
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Canoe is looking to work some ground and pound but Brooks has wrist control.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.

Canoe shoots in and scores a nice double leg takedown into half guard.

Brooks kicks off Canoe and gets to his feet.

Canoe bobs and weaves into range and then changes levels and scores with a nice takedown into side control.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Brooks gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Brooks is trying to maintain the position but Canoe is very close to passing his half guard.
Canoe controlling the action here.
Douche Canoe has got the better of the ground game so far.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Brooks looking to force a kimura from the bottom here. He's concentrating on that move too much though and Canoe pushes past his half guard into mount!
Brooks in a bad spot here, taking shots to the head.
Canoe content just to control the position here.
Canoe's corner are shouting for him to control the position and he seems happy to oblige.
Canoe lands a couple of nice shots there from mount.

Jeez, Fill Brooks's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Fill Brooks's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:59 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Douche Canoe!
A victorious Douche Canoe thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.