PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Zee Snore (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Theodore Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both fighters will be looking to make this an exciting fight for the fans, I'm sure!

Snore
vs
Thundercunt

192 cm
20
255 lbs
11 - 2 - 0

194 cm
27
245 lbs
14 - 3 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Cardio machine

Decent wrestler
Decent boxing
Good gas tank

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 2 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Zee Snore!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 3 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Theodore Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Santiago Holmes and Bart Greer.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thundercunt misses with a body punch
and Snore connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
A jab from Snore misses.
Thundercunt takes a swing at Snore's ribcage but misses.
Snore uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Thundercunt.
A decent looking cross lands there for Snore.
Nice defenses there by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt throws a counter combo.
Snore throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Snore throws a hook but Thundercunt blocks it.
Thundercunt uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Snore.
Snore throws a poor cross that misses
and Thundercunt cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
A jab from Thundercunt finds it's way through Snore's defenses.
Snore throws a series of punches but Thundercunt avoids them all with ease.
Thundercunt bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Snore seems to be moving with more speed, compared to his last bout. He must have been working on that in the gym.
Snore lands a nice hook to Thundercunt's body. Thundercunt takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Thundercunt misses with a left hand
and Snore counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Thundercunt ducks under a wild hook from Snore.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A big right from Snore misses.
Thundercunt scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
A looping hook to the body misses from Thundercunt. Snore does a little dance to reset his feet.
Snore swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Snore throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Thundercunt displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Snore throws out the jab.
It seemed like Thundercunt was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Thundercunt clobbers Snore with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Snore avoids the body shot from Thundercunt.
Snore scores with a one two! Thundercunt had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
Snore slips a jab from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt scores with a punch to the head.

Snore is rocked!
Snore misses with a looping right.
Snore cracks Thundercunt with an open hand slap.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A looping hook to the body misses from Thundercunt. Snore does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thundercunt takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Thundercunt fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Snore manages to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt lands with a good body shot.
Thundercunt misses the jab.
Snore rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Thundercunt counters with a left to the body.
Thundercunt looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Snore ducks right into an uppercut from Thundercunt.
Snore moves out of range of the strikes.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Snore uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt digs a good body shot into Snore's ribs.
Snore moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Thundercunt swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Nice uppercut lands for Thundercunt. That snapped Snore's head back.
Thundercunt throws an overhand right that lands on Snore's shoulder, as Snore tries to avoid the shot.
Snore throws a right hand that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Thundercunt is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! Snore had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Snore throws a jab when Thundercunt was well out of range.
Thundercunt swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Snore slips a jab from Thundercunt.
Snore throws a hook but Thundercunt avoids it easily.
Thundercunt cracks Snore with a good jab.
Oh Snore is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Snore fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Snore seems to have got his legs back now.
Snore misses with a hook
and Thundercunt connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Thundercunt takes one on the button.
Snore is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
Snore wants to take advantage of his opponent's missed offense by moving into the clinch.
A slow jab from Thundercunt misses its intended target.
A jab from Snore does it's job there.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Snore loads up on a big right hand but Thundercunt slips the punch.
A telegraphed right hand from Snore misses the target.
Snore misses with an uppercut. Thundercunt saw that one coming.
Thundercunt throws a nice looking combination but Snore bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
An attempted straight right counter from Snore misses the target.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Snore listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Thundercunt uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Snore.
A big left from Thundercunt misses.
A slow jab from Thundercunt misses its intended target.
Thundercunt scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Thundercunt pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Snore connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Snore uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Thundercunt.
Snore throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Snore swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Snore takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
A punch lands to the side of Thundercunt 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Thundercunt works the jab nicely.
A nice combination there by Snore.

Thundercunt is rocked!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Zee Snore will probably get the nod.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Thundercunt staying out of range there.
Thundercunt is still on wobbly legs! Can Snore finish him?
Thundercunt gets caught by a big overhand right and goes down! Snore gets on top of him and starts throwing some serious punches until the ref intervenes and stops the fight!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:07 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Zee Snore!
After winning the bout, Zee Snore thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.