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Revolution XC 4 PBP Commentary


Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Papa Shango and Theodore Thundercunt. Shango comes into the arena with Shango Tango blaring out of the sound system. Theodore Thundercunt has the eye of the tiger tonight.

189 cm
27
280 lbs
12 - 3 - 0
194 cm
27
245 lbs
14 - 4 - 0
BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine
Decent wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

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-



Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 wins, 3 losses and 0 draws, fighting out of , Papa Shango!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 wins, 4 losses and 0 draws, fighting out of Las Vegas, Theodore Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, Don Winkell and Timothy Bukovac.



The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thundercunt walks into a jab.

It looks like Theodore Thundercunt has been cut.
Shango connects with a body shot.
Shango misses with a two punch combination.
Shango jabs at Thundercunt's body.
Shango throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Thundercunt on the side of the head.
Thundercunt throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.

It looks like Papa Shango has been cut.
A slow jab from Thundercunt misses its intended target.
Thundercunt throws a lazy right hand but Shango sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Shango keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Thundercunt misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Shango.
Thundercunt swings for the body but Shango moves out of range.
Shango moves away from the strike by Thundercunt.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Shango swinging wildly here.
Thundercunt scores with a jab to the jaw.
Shango works the jab nicely.
Thundercunt looks to throw the jab but Shango is out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Thundercunt keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Shango.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Shango moves away.
Shango moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Shango keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Thundercunt.
A telegraphed right hand from Shango misses the target.
A decent looking cross lands there for Thundercunt.
Good exchange - Shango coming out on top.
Thundercunt jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Shango throws a shot from downtown. Thundercunt moves away and avoids it.
Shango avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Jab, jab by Thundercunt - just one landing.
A jab from Thundercunt finds it's way through Shango's defenses.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Shango misses the shot to the body.
Thundercunt just misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt throws a body shot but no joy.
Thundercunt has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Shango throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Thundercunt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt connects with a single shot there.
Shango keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Shango is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Shango throws out the jab.
Shango staying out of range there.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Shango moves away.
Shango uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Thundercunt.
Shango fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Thundercunt throws a shot from downtown. Shango moves away and avoids it.
Shango throws out a loose jab but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Thundercunt uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
The fighters circling - Thundercunt throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Thundercunt is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! Shango had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
Shango throws a big shot that misses.
It seemed like Thundercunt was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Shango fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
Nice body punch from Shango.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Shango throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Shango misses with a left hand
and Thundercunt counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Thundercunt keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Shango.
Thundercunt throws a body punch but Shango moves out of range.
Thundercunt's corner calls for a 1-2. Thundercunt obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Shango throws a hook but Thundercunt avoids it easily.
Shango changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Thundercunt pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Thundercunt thows a left - swing and a miss!
Thundercunt tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Shango was well out of range. Poor timing from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Shango wants to take advantage of his opponent's missed offense by moving into the clinch.
Shango throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Shango connects with a body shot.
Thundercunt looks to score with a jab to the body but Shango is just out of range.
Shango ducks under a wild hook from Thundercunt.
Shango misses with a straight left.
Thundercunt looks like he wants to counter punch here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt just misses with a punch to the body.
Shango looks to score with a jab to the body but Thundercunt is just out of range.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Thundercunt showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Shango.
Thundercunt looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Thundercunt listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Thundercunt feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Shangos jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Thundercunt ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Thundercunt lands a nice shot that snaps Shango's head back.
Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Shango.
Thundercunt misses the shot to the body.
Shango throws a jab but it's blocked by Thundercunt.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Shango.
Thundercunt just misses with a punch to the body.
Shango throws a nice looking combination but Thundercunt bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
A looping hook to the body misses from Shango. Thundercunt does a little dance to reset his feet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Theodore Thundercunt will probably get the nod.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.


Shango throws a good cross that connects.
Shango scores to the head and body with a nice combination!
Shango looks to score with a jab to the body but Thundercunt is just out of range.
Shango keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Shango was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Thundercunt scores with a shot to the body.
Shango with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Shango stuns Thundercunt with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Thundercunt defending well as Shango loads up on a big left hand.
A big right from Thundercunt misses.
Thundercunt lands a really nice looking cross but Shango seems unphased.
Shango fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
Thundercunt walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Shango slips a straight right by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Shango tries to move into range but Thundercunt moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Thundercunt keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt misses the shot to the body.
Shango gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
Shango tries to move into range but Thundercunt moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Shango avoids the body shot from Thundercunt.
Shango displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Thundercunt throws out the jab.
Theodore Thundercunt seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Shango throws the left hand but Thundercunt avoids the punch easily.
Thundercunt misses with a hook. Shango ducked under it nicely.
Thundercunt throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Nice shot lands for Thundercunt.
Thundercunt defending well as Shango loads up on a big left hand.
Thundercunt looks to score with a jab to the body but Shango is just out of range.
Shango misses with a looping left.
Shango ducks under a wild hook from Thundercunt.
Shango was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Thundercunt avoids the body shot from Shango.
Thundercunt swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt connects with a jab.
Shango swinging wildly here.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Thundercunt uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Shango has time to react.
Thundercunt misses with a straight left.
Thundercunt throws a left and a right that both miss
and Shango makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Thundercunt misses with an uppercut. Shango saw that one coming.
A slow jab from Shango misses its intended target.
The step up in weight doesn't seem to be a problem for Thundercunt. He's performing admirably here against the bigger man.
Shango moves away from the strike by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt swings for the body but Shango moves out of range.
Thundercunt on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Shango with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Thundercunt cracks Shango with an open hand slap.
Thundercunt throws an overhand right that lands on Shango's shoulder, as Shango tries to avoid the shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Shango punishes Thundercunt's body with a nice straight punch.
Shango misses with an uppercut. Thundercunt saw that one coming.
Shango scores with a sloppy right hand. Thundercunt should have avoided that one.
Shango uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Thundercunt.
Shango was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Thundercunt misses with a hook.
Shango lands a jab to the nose.
Thundercunt keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Shango looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Thundercunt looks to land a left hand but Shango moved out of range nicely.
Shango darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Shango.
A left lands for Thundercunt.
Thundercunt throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Thundercunt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Shango throws the left hand but Thundercunt avoids the punch easily.
Shango misses with a wild combination.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Shango.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Thundercunt misses with a body shot.
Shango tests Thundercunt's chin there with a solid looking shot.
A jab from Thundercunt misses.
Thundercunt steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Shango.
Shango fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
Shango throws out a loose jab but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Thundercunt scores with a jab.
Shango scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Thundercunt doesn't seem bothered though.
Thundercunt uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Shango.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
Jab from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt misses with a wild body shot.
Thundercunt staying out of range there.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Papa Shango will probably get the nod.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.


A slow jab from Shango misses its intended target.
Thundercunt throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A big left from Shango misses.
Shango throws a combination. Thundercunt tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
Shango throws a series of punches but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Shango scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.

Thundercunt is rocked!
Thundercunt fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Shango moves out of range of the strikes.
Shango swings away with a body shot that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a stiff right hand.
Shango looks to score with a jab to the body but Thundercunt is just out of range.
Shango staying out of range there.
Thundercunt misses with a looping left.
Thundercunt throws a hook but Shango blocks it.
Shango just misses with a punch to the body.
Shango throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Nice cross by Thundercunt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Shango throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Shango misses the shot to the body.
Thundercunt bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Shango throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Thundercunt throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Thundercunt lands a head shot.
Shango avoids the body shot from Thundercunt.
Shango misses with a hook. Thundercunt ducked under it nicely.
Thundercunt connects with a good right hand that stumbles Shango. Shango circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands a two punch combo.
Shango slips a jab from Thundercunt.
A big left from Thundercunt misses.
Shango misses with an uppercut.
Thundercunt misses with a wild body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Shango uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Thundercunt.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Shango swings for the body but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Shango keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Thundercunt.
Shango is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Shango is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Thundercunt missing with a left hand there. Shango was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Shango misses with a looping right.
Thundercunt swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Thundercunt defending well as Shango loads up on a big left hand.
A shot to the body from Shango misses
and Thundercunt counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Shango avoids the body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands a body shot.
Shango misses with a hook.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Shango moves away.
Nice shot lands for Thundercunt.
Shango's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Shango duly obliges.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Shango scores with a hook.
Shango avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Shango lands with a big left! Thundercunt is wobbled badly! Shango comes in with a flurry of punches and drops Thundercunt to the floor. The ref jumps in to save him from unneccessary punishment.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:16 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punches). Papa Shango!
Papa Shango retains his heavyweight title!
A very excited looking Papa Shango rambled incoherently for about 5 minutes post fight about how awesome he is. It was kinda funny for a while but then everyone got annoyed.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
67%
 
 
 
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