PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Whatacunt Bones (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dave Laston (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Dave Laston has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Whatacunt Bones's chin.

Bones
vs
Laston

195 cm
25
217 lbs
6 - 0 - 0

190 cm
25
274 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Big right hand

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 0 - 0, fighting out of New York, Whatacunt Bones!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Dave Laston!
The judges for this bout are Albert Achterberg, Radbod Blank and Wagner Zegers.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Laston tries to clinch but Bones moves out of range.
Laston tries to clinch there but Bones circles away.
Laston tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Bones paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Bones is looking to counter punch.
Bones scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Bones circles away from the clinch attempt
and Bones counters with a stiff right hand.

It looks like Dave Laston has been cut.
Laston tries to clinch but Bones moves away
and Bones makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Laston tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Bones paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Bones definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Laston looks to clinch
and Laston takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Bones avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Bones circles away from the clinch attempt.
Laston looks to clinch
and Bones counters with a stiff right hand.
Laston is looking to clinch.
Bones lands with an overhand left.
Bones lands with a hook. Laston tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Laston tries to clinch but Bones moves out of range.
Laston wants to clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Laston tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Bones counters with a left to the body.
Laston tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Bones manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Laston closes the distance looking to clinch
and Bones counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.

That has opened up Dave Laston's cut even more.
Bones lands a body shot.
Dave Laston seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Laston tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Bones counters with a nice uppercut.
Bones scores with a nice head shot.
Laston tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Laston doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Nice jab there from Bones.
Laston looks winded!
Laston wants to clinch
and Bones counters with a left to the body.
Bones scores with a jab.

The cut above Dave Laston's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Bones fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.

Bones lands a big right hand that sends Laston crashing to the mat! Bones stays standing though and waves Laston back to his feet!

Laston is rocked!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Laston takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Laston is still on wobbly legs! Can Bones finish him?
Bones ducks down into range and throws a picture perfect right hook that connects with Laston's jaw. Laston's eyes stare off into space as he falls to the mat, out cold! Bones does the decent thing and steps back, rather than landing any shots to his unconscious opponent.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:08 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Whatacunt Bones!
Whatacunt Bones retains his heavyweight title!